Why do I feel worse?

[cavalier99]

Hell yea you need to be thinking of this stuff or the past 6-5 months on here will have been a complete waste.

 

Seriously, think of what you want. Do you want to date around, date this girl exclusively, do you like her? Do you even know her? lol Do you want a relationshiip now?

 

All this stuff is going to come up. You know the girls will want answers. This girl will want answers. You are going to have to be honest or they are going to end up here boo-hooing over you calling you every name in the book. You know this is how it rolls. You got some decisions to make and things to clairify....do this and your butt is covered.

 

Rock on! LOL

 

Thanks for your answer. Everyone seem to think im crazy for being somehwhat concerned about these things. They are just like..what is wrong with you..enjoy the ride.

 

which is pretty much what ive done up to now....im doomed. Yes i like her.

[suladas]

Another good night and feeling up a girl at a bar, I don't know why but once again much older then me It feels so good to finally have real confidence in myself. And found out one friends wedding is off, another one just broke up with his GF. It's kind of weird but hearing that and seeing that they are doing fine and just keep going on just makes me feel even better. I must say for calling off a wedding, he is doing pretty well, taking him out drinking next weekend to celebrate him being free of her Vegas will be that much funner with more single guys

[Harradin]

I have a nice update. I took the initiative today and started talking to a girl I found rather hot at racing, I spoke with her briefly at the last round but not too much. She was friendly, we seemed to exchange the same amount of questions and kept the conversation going nicely with no awkward moments, I did go red when talking to her but I had just finished racing. She didn't seem to be disinterested in talking to me, but I'm terrible at body language/facial expressions etc. No flirting or anything, she seemed to lose interest in talking to me when my friends came and spoke to me.

 

Dunno whether to add her on Facebook or not, will see her more during the year though. No crush or anything though.

[Hopeful714]

I think its when people dont THINK that all the f'ed up situations start.

 

I think we've all had enough .....and read enough about that for a lifetime.

 

 

Think, do the right thing & enjoy! Then no one ends up here!

I'm glad you like her!

[cavalier99]

I have a nice update. I took the initiative today and started talking to a girl I found rather hot at racing, I spoke with her briefly at the last round but not too much. She was friendly, we seemed to exchange the same amount of questions and kept the conversation going nicely with no awkward moments, I did go red when talking to her but I had just finished racing. She didn't seem to be disinterested in talking to me, but I'm terrible at body language/facial expressions etc. No flirting or anything, she seemed to lose interest in talking to me when my friends came and spoke to me.

 

Dunno whether to add her on Facebook or not, will see her more during the year though. No crush or anything though.

 

Way to go man! Sure why shoudnt you add her to FB. You have nothing to lose.

 

Just keep on going out and chatting up the ladies.

 

Ive found after the initial recovery period there is nothing better than getting back out there to start to feel normal again and up your confidence. Also any new adventures just seems to push the BU further and further into the past. Cav

[cavalier99]

Dude just don't over think it. Go with a flow

 

Yo jovan. How are you?

 

Have you stopped banging every single hot girl in serbia to get over you RS! Lol

 

Any more singing in bars and in the street in the early AM with after downing bottles of Vodka!?

 

I loved that story. Cav

[cavalier99]

I think its when people dont THINK that all the f'ed up situations start.

 

I think we've all had enough .....and read enough about that for a lifetime.

 

 

Think, do the right thing & enjoy! Then no one ends up here!

I'm glad you like her!

 

Ha we all end up here at one point or another. Its a great character builder! Heartbreak is great!!

 

Best thing that ever happened to NA. He is about to get another dose. Lol Cav

 

going for dinner with her now! Im on the train and it isnt stopping!

[destroyed4sho]

whenever i go out i crash into depression the next day. and that is where im at now.

it been a while and still stuck in this stage.

anyway i was on the train yesterday and this guy across platform was starig at me and then i thought he was looking over my head so i kept looking back at me trying to figure it oit. anyway, he smiled at me...and i smiled back...and the train came right on cue. pretty much he highlight of my night..then i went out drinking.

 

now super depressed at home.

 

na- sounds like your girl is behaving so far...i think its a good sign for now. i would have her apologize to parents...dont give her that significance.

[na49]

It sucks because I'm really starting to enjoy having her back now. I feel better about everything. Carrying myself with more confidence. I'm almost afraid to enjoy having her back because I don't want to feel heart broken if I lose her. She really is on her best behavior, but isn't "honey mooning" us being back together. It really feels like it was when we were together the first time right before she left. I asked her to talk a few nights ago and her response was "please don't leave me". I told her I wasn't and we diffused a potential "problem". We go at it like normal couples do and I've got a bit more of a back bone than I did so I put up with less. She said something that I thought was insulting so I told her. I'm not her lapdog, but I also want to be the loyal and caring guy she loved/still loves.

 

I realize that even though she is on her best behavior, I'm on my best behavior too. Talking out problems and stressing communication. I hope that once things really start feeling like they used to, I remember everything I've learned.

 

Next time I bring her over, I will have her apologize. I'm sure they'd be happy to hear it. It would definitely show my parents something that she was willing to say "Yes.. I messed up. I'm sorry I messed with your son. I won't do it again" She's the type of person who doesn't want anyone to not like her.

 

She's not blowing up my phone as much which is nice. A little time apart from each other is good. I never had a problem with her doing her own things. She seems to have matured a bit since before.

 

Keep the train rollin' cav.

[Hopeful714]

Ha we all end up here at one point or another

 

 

Sure, at one point or another ....but the idea is not to keep coming back!

[McDonald]

Ha we all end up here at one point or another

 

 

Sure, at one point or another ....but the idea is not to keep coming back!

 

If only we could control that

[Hopeful714]

We can to a large extent....

 

Make good choices, keep your self esteem, boundaries, communication, do the right thing...THINK!

[cavalier99]

It sucks because I'm really starting to enjoy having her back now. I feel better about everything. Carrying myself with more confidence. I'm almost afraid to enjoy having her back because I don't want to feel heart broken if I lose her. She really is on her best behavior, but isn't "honey mooning" us being back together. It really feels like it was when we were together the first time right before she left. I asked her to talk a few nights ago and her response was "please don't leave me". I told her I wasn't and we diffused a potential "problem". We go at it like normal couples do and I've got a bit more of a back bone than I did so I put up with less. She said something that I thought was insulting so I told her. I'm not her lapdog, but I also want to be the loyal and caring guy she loved/still loves.

 

I realize that even though she is on her best behavior, I'm on my best behavior too. Talking out problems and stressing communication. I hope that once things really start feeling like they used to, I remember everything I've learned.

 

Next time I bring her over, I will have her apologize. I'm sure they'd be happy to hear it. It would definitely show my parents something that she was willing to say "Yes.. I messed up. I'm sorry I messed with your son. I won't do it again" She's the type of person who doesn't want anyone to not like her.

 

She's not blowing up my phone as much which is nice. A little time apart from each other is good. I never had a problem with her doing her own things. She seems to have matured a bit since before.

 

Keep the train rollin' cav.

 

Thanks bro. Im happy for you man. Just dont ever become a pussy and youll be fine. NEVER Give her both balls. Keep one for yourself...im serious. Cav

 

PS also treat her like sh*t on occasion and definitly nail her up the ass repeatedy for the crap she put you thru lol

[Damsel in Distress]

I'm almost afraid to enjoy having her back because I don't want to feel heart broken if I lose her.

 

I think this thought is what makes me realize that even if my ex did come back, I would be hesitant. It would be hard to have an equal relationship because I would feel scared - I trusted him with my heart and he broke it. How could I trust him not to break it again.

 

I remind myself of that to convince myself I HAVE to move on. The old relationship has been broken, and if I did get back into it, it would be a patched up relationship with scars.

 

I wish you luck na. It's been fascinating watching your story play out. and very educational! I wish you the best, and please keep sharing how it goes.

 

I shudder to think at how badly I would be handling my breakup without the collective wisdom of LS. I didn't know about NC before, so I surely would be still trying to get him to respond, and I would be crazy angry at him for failing to give me friendship or even breadcrumbs. And I would be feeling very alone and very ashamed of my crazy obsessive, addicted thoughts if I hadn't heard from others on LS. And most of all, I find it so helpful to hear the calm rational comments and advice of people on the outside... and it helps me to GIVE advice to others - so much easier to understand when you are looking at somebody else's situation when the emotions are not yours!

 

You guys have helped me so much. Thank you.

[na49]

Well I must have forgotten all of those little things about being in a relationship that drive you insane at times. Today I was sick of her by the time I went home. It didn't help that I haven't slept in a week. I actually got no sleep last night. The first time I ever had that happen. She asked me to hang out tonight but I had to tell her no. Any tips on how to say "No" to someone? I still feel guilty for doing it.

 

Something bothered me about how today went. Not sure what, but right before she went to class I just felt pissed off. Not sure if it was because seeing her angry and stressed makes me angry and stressed or what, but I may have to talk to her about it tonight. Didn't want to talk to her about it now. When she called me earlier I sounded not very enthusiastic (partially because I was upset about today and part of it was I was exhausted), I think I worried her because she got quiet and said "What's wrong? What's wrong? Tell me..." She's just as afraid of me leaving her as I am of her leaving me right now. but I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

 

I may sound like I'm regretting my decision with these posts. I'm really not. I was in for a bit of a rude awakening and I'd recommend anyone who does take an ex back to realize that taking them back means a full relationship with them. Being with them all the time/keeping them posted so you don't seem distant. Not just those good times, but also the times where you want to pull your hair out and scream.

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, just say no. It's not hard.

[destroyed4sho]

Well I must have forgotten all of those little things about being in a relationship that drive you insane at times. Today I was sick of her by the time I went home. It didn't help that I haven't slept in a week. I actually got no sleep last night. The first time I ever had that happen. She asked me to hang out tonight but I had to tell her no. Any tips on how to say "No" to someone? I still feel guilty for doing it.

 

Something bothered me about how today went. Not sure what, but right before she went to class I just felt pissed off. Not sure if it was because seeing her angry and stressed makes me angry and stressed or what, but I may have to talk to her about it tonight. Didn't want to talk to her about it now. When she called me earlier I sounded not very enthusiastic (partially because I was upset about today and part of it was I was exhausted), I think I worried her because she got quiet and said "What's wrong? What's wrong? Tell me..." She's just as afraid of me leaving her as I am of her leaving me right now. but I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

 

I may sound like I'm regretting my decision with these posts. I'm really not. I was in for a bit of a rude awakening and I'd recommend anyone who does take an ex back to realize that taking them back means a full relationship with them. Being with them all the time/keeping them posted so you don't seem distant. Not just those good times, but also the times where you want to pull your hair out and scream.

wow ..just reading ur train of thoughts I feel like 2nd chances are so difficult and stressful. it sounds like you/both of you? are on ur tippy toes bc ur so scared she is going to dump you again. ...ughh

[cavalier99]

My new thing is just breezy. My only issue is keeping up with the sexting. Lol

 

I made the mistake of reponding to the other girl. She is hounding me to go out with her next Sat. Do i go NC or friend zone her?

Edited April 16, 2013 by cavalier99

[Chi townD]

Well I must have forgotten all of those little things about being in a relationship that drive you insane at times. Today I was sick of her by the time I went home. It didn't help that I haven't slept in a week. I actually got no sleep last night. The first time I ever had that happen. She asked me to hang out tonight but I had to tell her no. Any tips on how to say "No" to someone? I still feel guilty for doing it.

 

Something bothered me about how today went. Not sure what, but right before she went to class I just felt pissed off. Not sure if it was because seeing her angry and stressed makes me angry and stressed or what, but I may have to talk to her about it tonight. Didn't want to talk to her about it now. When she called me earlier I sounded not very enthusiastic (partially because I was upset about today and part of it was I was exhausted), I think I worried her because she got quiet and said "What's wrong? What's wrong? Tell me..." She's just as afraid of me leaving her as I am of her leaving me right now. but I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

 

I may sound like I'm regretting my decision with these posts. I'm really not. I was in for a bit of a rude awakening and I'd recommend anyone who does take an ex back to realize that taking them back means a full relationship with them. Being with them all the time/keeping them posted so you don't seem distant. Not just those good times, but also the times where you want to pull your hair out and scream.

 

Problem is, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for her to screw you up again. Which, you have every reason to feel this way. You know the old saying, if it's too go to be true, it probably is.

 

And she's feeling the arms length you have her at. You built a wall around yourself, but a brick is knocked out and you two are staring at each other.

 

You are never going to have a normal relationship if you cannot fully commit to the relationship. Until that happens, you're going to continue to wait for the other shoe to drop.

 

But, you know my opinion, she did you wrong three days to Sunday. Personally, I think you deserve better, you just never gave yourself or any other girl a chance.

 

Not what you want to hear but; Hey, it's just an opinion.

[destroyed4sho]

My new thing is just breezy. My only issue is keeping up with the sexting. Lol

 

I made the mistake of reponding to the other girl. She is hounding me to go out with her next Sat. Do i go NC or friend zone her?

 

nc would be too cruel at this point...? She didnt dump you!!!

Are you going to use NC for every situation NOW?? LOLOL

[cavalier99]

nc would be too cruel at this point...? She didnt dump you!!!

Are you going to use NC for every situation NOW?? LOLOL

 

So what is the better option? I tell her we can be buddies (right) But i dont want to f*ck her anymore due to lack of attraction? Lol

 

I think maybe best i just forget to respond to her texts as this seems to happen naturally.

 

Believe me this girl will recover just fine. I think i was just a large sex toy to her anyway that she sorta got attached too. I mean ive only been with her twice. All is fair with dating. it isnt a RS.

 

Sh****t. She has probably f*cked at least one or 2 other guys since me anyway. Not reponding isnt cruel me thinks.

 

I am discussing ONS girl ...not Latina girl.

Edited April 16, 2013 by cavalier99

[Harradin]

Just found out today, my ex left the 'friend' she left me for, for someone else! He apparently spent over £1000 on her (I spent like £30.) I really want to troll them

[cavalier99]

Just found out today, my ex left the 'friend' she left me for, for someone else! He apparently spent over £1000 on her (I spent like £30.) I really want to troll them

 

I guess that kills the .000001 Percent hope of reconciliation. Plus if she does come back there will have been so many d*cks up there youll propable be hesitant to touch her. Lol

 

Wooo hooo. Great news!! Now your 100 percent free!! Rock on! Cav

[Harradin]

I guess that kills the .000001 Percent hope of reconciliation. Plus if she does come back there will have been so many d*cks up there youll propable be hesitant to touch her. Lol

 

Wooo hooo. Great news!! Now your 100 percent free!! Rock on! Cav

 

Well I hadn't spoken to her/she hadn't spoken to me since October, and when I did see her then it ended badly as we argued so I wasn't expecting her to contact me. Apparently its still in the grapevine though, its not official yet. But I hope it is, so my 'friend' got what he did to me.

 

The girl I spoke to the other day accepted my friend request on Facebook, so that's one thing sorted. No idea what to do next though haha!

[cavalier99]

Well I hadn't spoken to her/she hadn't spoken to me since October, and when I did see her then it ended badly as we argued so I wasn't expecting her to contact me. Apparently its still in the grapevine though, its not official yet. But I hope it is, so my 'friend' got what he did to me.

 

The girl I spoke to the other day accepted my friend request on Facebook, so that's one thing sorted. No idea what to do next though haha!

 

The next step is TELLING the girl your going to some fantastic bar this weekend and are going to have a blast and if she wants to come to join the party. Cav