Why do I feel worse?

[Simon Phoenix]

that's the part that bugs me.. if a guy knows a girl is with someone. WHY try to break it? for your own selfish reasons? I don't get those guys I mean if a girl is with someone I respect her relationship and I don't sit there thinking of ways to break them up or how I can be with her. I let it go and accept she is dating someone and it's best to leave it alone and be happy for her.

 

But some guys just don't get it I guess or can't get a girl so they gotta break other people up. Kinda like my ex there was a guy chasing her and he KNOWS we've been going out for 3 yrs, so why try to convince her and all that she's better with him? It's stupid.. but I guess some guys are down right desperate.

 

It's somewhat annoying, but it doesn't upset me. First of all, unless a guy is a friend of yours, he has no loyalty to you and you have no loyalty to him. If this person was your friend and doing this, it's messed up. Second of all, it's ultimately the girl's decision whether to act on it or not (or guy if the situation is reversed). I don't get jealous of stuff like that, because if the girl cheats, she's gone. No questions asked.

 

Have I hooked up with girls that have had boyfriends? Yes. Do I feel bad about it? Not especially. I figure that if a girl in a relationship is willing to stray, I might as well be the one to profit, because if I don't, someone else will. I'll give her one get-out-of-jail free card (Hey, don't you have a boyfriend?). If that doesn't dissuade her, who am I to get in the way of this? Of course, if it was a girlfriend of one of my friends I would never do anything, but all is fair otherwise. If that makes me a d--k, then so be it.

[cavalier99]

The annoying part is this guy isn't even the guy she cheated on me with Lone. But I still think it applies, she had a lot of friends like this. A lot of close guy friends. I never thought anything of it. This guy was so nice. He was respectful, I wouldn't expect him to pull anything.

 

but I am now. If I see him, I'll ignore him. If he says hi I'll say hi. (he's the type who was trying not to pick sides after we broke up but God knows he's on her side. Everyone is on her side because no one knows my side of the story or wants to hear it now. We've been done for a while now)

 

No she's not my princess. She's an evil witch who needs to get the f*ck out of my thoughts. I want to just enjoy this football game and not be hung up over this. She's so freaking grimy and disgusting. Our sex wasn't even that good. I have no other sex to compare it to, but I'd imagine sex could be a lot better than what I've had.

 

Way to go NA i love it when you rant! I'm glad your getting angry at your sweet little princess.

[na49]

It's somewhat annoying, but it doesn't upset me. First of all, unless a guy is a friend of yours, he has no loyalty to you and you have no loyalty to him. If this person was your friend and doing this, it's messed up. Second of all, it's ultimately the girl's decision whether to act on it or not (or guy if the situation is reversed). I don't get jealous of stuff like that, because if the girl cheats, she's gone. No questions asked.

 

Have I hooked up with girls that have had boyfriends? Yes. Do I feel bad about it? Not especially. I figure that if a girl in a relationship is willing to stray, I might as well be the one to profit, because if I don't, someone else will. I'll give her one get-out-of-jail free card (Hey, don't you have a boyfriend?). If that doesn't dissuade her, who am I to get in the way of this? Of course, if it was a girlfriend of one of my friends I would never do anything, but all is fair otherwise. If that makes me a d--k, then so be it.

 

yeah... you're a d*ck.

 

That's probably what this clown my ex cheated on me with was saying too. Frustrating as f*ck and even more frustrating that she went ahead and did it.

[Hopeful714]

You better keep your phone blocked because your little princess is gonna get a taste of her own medicine from her new dude someday and be callin you with her tears.

 

"Rock stars" (whatever).... with money, don't keep little 19 year olds around for long. Why? Because they don't have to....they have tons of groupies to pick from when "princess" causes a problem. Chances are she did exactly that when she was last blowin up your phone and they were most likely fighting.

 

Let this one ride out....I'm tellin ya...she's a fool...and others will see it too. You aint got shi* to worry about. She knows nothing about what your up to. For all she knows you could be bangin a supermodel right now.

[suladas]

It's somewhat annoying, but it doesn't upset me. First of all, unless a guy is a friend of yours, he has no loyalty to you and you have no loyalty to him. If this person was your friend and doing this, it's messed up. Second of all, it's ultimately the girl's decision whether to act on it or not (or guy if the situation is reversed). I don't get jealous of stuff like that, because if the girl cheats, she's gone. No questions asked.

 

Have I hooked up with girls that have had boyfriends? Yes. Do I feel bad about it? Not especially. I figure that if a girl in a relationship is willing to stray, I might as well be the one to profit, because if I don't, someone else will. I'll give her one get-out-of-jail free card (Hey, don't you have a boyfriend?). If that doesn't dissuade her, who am I to get in the way of this? Of course, if it was a girlfriend of one of my friends I would never do anything, but all is fair otherwise. If that makes me a d--k, then so be it.

 

Ya i'm mostly the same, and the thing is if she is willing to cheat with you she will just do it with someone else if you turn it down so might as well. Actually some of my friends have said if there GF ever wants sex with a friend, go for it tell him after so he can dump the cheating b*tch. Because if they are willing to cheat with someone that close to their BF they obviously don't care at all. I had it happen once, a friend of mine cheated on his GF, she was pissed wanted to go home with me that night but I couldn't do it, not to someone i've known for over 20 years. If he didn't say she was the worst lay ever, I might have done it, it was incredibly tough to turn down considering I was so drunk I could barely walk and she was completely sober. His parents hate me enough already though....

[na49]

You better keep your phone blocked because your little princess is gonna get a taste of her own medicine from her new dude someday and be callin you with her tears.

 

"Rock stars" (whatever).... with money, don't keep little 19 year olds around for long. Why? Because they don't have to....they have tons of groupies to pick from when "princess" causes a problem. Chances are she did exactly that when she was last blowin up your phone and they were most likely fighting.

 

Let this one ride out....I'm tellin ya...she's a fool...and others will see it too. You aint got shi* to worry about. She knows nothing about what your up to. For all she knows you could be bangin a supermodel right now.

 

You're right! She doesn't know what I'm up to. Why do I sell myself short on everything? The block is for 90 days, so if I'm still worried about this in another 2 months, I'll have to block it again. I'm also getting a new phone next month probably, so I want to make sure the block carries over. I love the drama, but any message from her will set me back.

 

I know they have problems already. She wants him more than he wants her. She thought he wanted her so she was like "Oh wait? You mean I have a chance to get with that trophy boyfriend? Bye bye! You weren't right for me anyway!" Then she told me they had 3 fights in 2 weeks and caused her panic attacks. I asked her. "Did I ever cause you any panic attacks the first month we were together? Just for my own resume?" she said "... I'm sure you did, I just don't remember" B*tch please! whatever let her chase him. I don't really care, she's his problem now and she has a lot of problems that he won't help her fix.

 

I'm going to a friend's birthday party on Sunday. It's a friend who I haven't seen in a long ass time. We were friends when we were like 5. She also had a crush on me at one point . She's pretty cool from what I remember but like I said I haven't spoke to her in a long time. Part of me wants to get a picture with her and make it my default on facebook just to throw it in my ex's face if she ever stalks me. I hope I have enough confidence to not be weird around her though.

Edited January 21, 2013 by na49

[Simon Phoenix]

yeah... you're a d*ck.

 

That's probably what this clown my ex cheated on me with was saying too. Frustrating as f*ck and even more frustrating that she went ahead and did it.

 

It's her fault, not his. He's not the one in the relationship, she was. Women are going to get hit on by men whether they are a relationship or not. Just the way it is.

[Cognitive Miser]

Part of me wants to get a picture with her and make it my default on facebook just to throw it in my ex's face if she ever stalks me. I hope I have enough confidence to not be weird around her though.

 

Do it! Not just for her, but for yourself! You owe it to yourself to do something and not just dwell on the past and some worthless being who just threw you away like trash and didn't even have the decency to tell you the truth.

 

Just be yourself man, don't act overzealous or anything like that. Just converse and take it slowly and casually bring up taking a picture. Don't think too much of it either. You are a swell guy and any girl would be happy to have you in some part of their lives.

 

And don't be shy, I know how awkward it can be when you haven't talked to these people in quite some time but just try and keep the flow going. Don't be too forward and don't be too coy. Be yourself, relax and breathe. YOU GOT THIS MAN

[na49]

Do it! Not just for her, but for yourself! You owe it to yourself to do something and not just dwell on the past and some worthless being who just threw you away like trash and didn't even have the decency to tell you the truth.

 

Just be yourself man, don't act overzealous or anything like that. Just converse and take it slowly and casually bring up taking a picture. Don't think too much of it either. You are a swell guy and any girl would be happy to have you in some part of their lives.

 

And don't be shy, I know how awkward it can be when you haven't talked to these people in quite some time but just try and keep the flow going. Don't be too forward and don't be too coy. Be yourself, relax and breathe. YOU GOT THIS MAN

 

Thanks. It's my first time going to something like this since I got dumped. I used to be so confident at these types of parties because I knew I had my ex so I didn't worry about anything.

 

I feel like the more I think about it, the more likely I'll end up being weird. So I won't over think anything. (I over think a lot )

[Chi townD]

Are you back at school yet?

[na49]

I start classes tomorrow.

 

lol I just got a call from a random number. Was it her?! No. Just some lady speaking a foreign language. Wrong number I admit, my heart started beating really fast when I answered it. I was expecting to hear her voice and then NOPE!

[LostOne1]

I start classes tomorrow.

 

lol I just got a call from a random number. Was it her?! No. Just some lady speaking a foreign language. Wrong number I admit, my heart started beating really fast when I answered it. I was expecting to hear her voice and then NOPE!

Have fun man!

 

Try to meet some new people and don't get too worked up if things don't go your way.

[na49]

I really don't want to turn it into a big event or anything. I feel like if I make it into some big thing then I'll probably think too much and screw myself over. Just gotta go with the flow. It's honestly no different than last semester except I'm going to try being less shy.

[LostOne1]

Well it's not about making it a big thing.. what it's about is that you DO change it up a bit to feel better. I started totally dressing differently.. normally I wore a hoodie and jeans and trimmed my facial hair.

 

Now I shave, wear nice professional clothes, new glasses etc.. If you LOOK good, you feel good and you get better attention too. In a more positive way!

 

Just remember you HAVE confidence now and you are this amazing guy walking around the campus

[na49]

Look good. Feel good.

 

Those are words I live by. Or at least used to. After I got dumped I wore sweatshirts and sweatpants every day. I had a much harder time getting up and trying to look good because I felt "What's the point?". I used to dress much nicer. Tomorrow I'll be rocking some new clothes that I got for Christmas and show off the upgrades I made to my wardrobe.

 

I hope the anxiety doesn't start up once I walk in the classroom..

[LostOne1]

Look good. Feel good.

 

Those are words I live by. Or at least used to. After I got dumped I wore sweatshirts and sweatpants every day. I had a much harder time getting up and trying to look good because I felt "What's the point?". I used to dress much nicer. Tomorrow I'll be rocking some new clothes that I got for Christmas and show off the upgrades I made to my wardrobe.

 

I hope the anxiety doesn't start up once I walk in the classroom..

Your anxiety WILL kick in mines did in the first few days and it was worse crashing into my ex haha.

 

BUT give it a good week and it's gonna feel good.

 

Like I said wear some good stuff and feel good man. That's what I've been doing this week in fact I went online and bought some new cool clothes and will be rocking it. Don't care what people think.. all I know is I have confidence and believe in myself.

 

If someone wants to get to know me and talk and all then it's cool and I'll be down for that.. but for those that are cocky and act all that. I don't waste my time with them at school and shrug them off.

 

Oh and one thing that's helped me lately is trying to meet girls. I got rejected so much lately but 2 out of the 10 girls so far HAVE started talking with me. And there are a few more I still want to talk to at school. But its how it is man.. you gotta get out there and KNOW you can get a better girl than your ex.

 

That's my mentality now... I KNOW i can get an awesome girl. Why? because everyone says it.. my friends that are girls say it.. my guy friends.. my family and hell funny enough my EX told me MANY time in our relationship that she was lucky to have me and that she's scared of losing me to other girls. So it means I got something good about me and in my heart I know I am an awesome guy.

 

I've never cheated on a girl, I've done a lot for a girl surprises out of my way just for her. So I know I am an awesome guy and I got nothing to fear.

 

Look at it my way and trust me man... your ex will look like NOTHING and be old news. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if she starts doubting herself after to know you changed so much but in such an awesome way. And people are right.. the ultimate revenge is having an awesome life and being happy with yourself.

 

Go kick some ****ing ass man!!

[na49]

For sure man. I'll be the same as I was, just different.

 

I've never been "rejected" because I've never put myself out there like that. I really need to though. I'll ease my way into it though, I don't need to say hi to every person in my classes tomorrow. Small talk should be easy though. "How was your break?" "Did you do anything fun?" "Did you see Django Unchained?" Something that I try to remember is that everyone is just as nervous as I am. Also maintaining eye contact when people are talking to me. That's something I have trouble with at times.

[Simon Phoenix]

Crack a few jokes, set up some "study" dates.

[na49]

Well I just got back so I figured I'd write in my diary.

 

Didn't run into her. Didn't see her at all. I thought every girl that looked like her was going to be her. I have to admit, I was hoping I would see her. (not sure why though)

 

As for being nervous in classes. I wasn't at all really. but I felt like I got more shy as the day went on which sucked. I knew a few people in both of my classes so I just talked to them. Didn't introduce myself or start small talk with anyone new.

 

I started missing her like crazy too because people started talking about how much they smoked and drank during the break, and where to find stuff on campus and I was sitting there quiet. I don't smoke, so I had nothing to add. It made me think of how me and my ex had sober fun all the time because we both just weren't into that stuff. It's not that I'm against people who do it, all my friends do. I just never got into it, and I feel like I almost have to. Now I have no one really, so I felt like crap.

 

I also have the urge to text her. Unblock her on facebook, see what she's been up to. I want to know if she misses me. What she thinks of me. etc. I have no idea why, but I do.

 

Overall, it could have been much worse than it was. I forgot to say bye to a girl I was talking to all day though. I just bolted right out of class once the lecture was over and didn't talk to anyone.

[Chi townD]

Dude, you just got to ease into it. Relax, and not with pot. You'll start to get to know the people around you. It takes time. remember, It's the FIRST DAY of the new semester. What you SHOULD have done is elbowed a seat next to the cutest girls in the class.

[na49]

That's true, I just thought it was so weird how I was so confident at first, then we're sitting outside waiting for the professor to show up and I sat in silence while everyone around me is talking about drugs. That's where my confidence went out the window and I started missing my ex. I just started wishing she was still with me. I missed the fun we had without doing that stuff. I really want that back right now and I feel so crappy..

 

One kid I knew who remembered me from last semester said "Yeah, I remember a few people from that class" started naming names and then goes "you. your ex" I just felt my morale drop, and it was like hearing it from someone else that we're done. It hurt for some reason. I was about to bring her up and start complaining but I stopped myself. Nobody wants to hear about that or cares anymore except for me.

 

I have to stay strong. I know if I check her facebook or contact her I'll hurt myself more. Why do I want to check her facebook/twitter again just to find out that she's over me? I already freaking know she is... Just need to try to get over this rough patch the best I can. Maybe I need to get used to not seeing her at all.

[Simon Phoenix]

You need to relax. It's the first day of class and you are thinking way too much. Sit next to a cute girl, crack a joke, do whatever. You have an entire semester to meet people.

[na49]

I really do need to relax. It feels so weird to know that I'll probably never see her around. Even if I do, it's not like I'd feel any better about it. Maybe I have to get used to the routine of everything again, I like to think I won't go through the rest of the semester feeling weird because I'm not seeing her. I have to get used to it and eventually it'll be more weird when I do see her as opposed to when I don't. She knows so many people on campus, I see her "friends" (I use that term lightly) all over the damn place.

 

and then the thoughts about "What does she think of me?" "Does she miss me?" and all of that other craziness come back.

[Hopeful714]

I came home and turned on the news. I heard there was a shooting on a campus. I'm glad you weren't involved..lol.

 

Sorry, I know that's in bad taste. But I thought of you. lol

 

Its all gonna be good! Chill.

[LostOne1]

I really do need to relax. It feels so weird to know that I'll probably never see her around. Even if I do, it's not like I'd feel any better about it. Maybe I have to get used to the routine of everything again, I like to think I won't go through the rest of the semester feeling weird because I'm not seeing her. I have to get used to it and eventually it'll be more weird when I do see her as opposed to when I don't. She knows so many people on campus, I see her "friends" (I use that term lightly) all over the damn place.

 

and then the thoughts about "What does she think of me?" "Does she miss me?" and all of that other craziness come back.

This is where you let go of what she is thinking... And you think about what YOU want.

 

Give it 2-3 weeks and you won't care what your ex is thinking. School will just pickup.

 

BTW anyone got advice on how I get group partners to reply back? LOL

I sent both my online group partners an email. Maybe I scared them with my jokes or something, but neither replied back. Then I find out both are best friends.. so much for partners LOL. So far no email back from them, yet they made a dicussion post and are online? Thought it takes 2 mins to send an email back even saying Hi back? Another guy in a term before them told me their class is full of douchbags that never say Hi back. LOL