Why do I feel worse?

[na49]

I know and the annoying part is I'm not nearly concerned about what she thinks as I was a few hours ago. I still am thinking about it, but the thought of unblocking her on facebook seems so stupid to me now where a few hours ago it sounded like an okay idea. I guess I'm "bothered" by the fact she hasn't gone out of her way to contact me. but why should she? I told her to leave me alone. She's giving me my wish. Plus, she doesn't want to talk to me! She wants to talk to her friends who she said are better than me.

 

Apparently more people know we're broken up than I thought. (that kid who was in my class, who referred to her as "your ex") So we're that. We're broken up. She's my ex. She's not with me. She's not my friend. She's not anything to me anymore. (she shouldn't be at least... she still is) I wish I could just move on and get rid of these feelings though. I say I never want to see her again and yet I was hoping beyond hope that I'd see her today. What's up with that?

 

As for your situation Lone. Not everyone's friendly, some people think it's weird when people they don't know start talking to them. I'm no expert obviously, but if I want to start talking to someone new and they're in my class I usually talk to them about stuff we can relate to. If we're in the same class, I ask them about class, what they think of the teacher, etc. Let it evolve from there.

[Cognitive Miser]

I know and the annoying part is I'm not nearly concerned about what she thinks as I was a few hours ago. I still am thinking about it, but the thought of unblocking her on facebook seems so stupid to me now where a few hours ago it sounded like an okay idea. I guess I'm "bothered" by the fact she hasn't gone out of her way to contact me. but why should she? I told her to leave me alone. She's giving me my wish. Plus, she doesn't want to talk to me! She wants to talk to her friends who she said are better than me.

 

Apparently more people know we're broken up than I thought. (that kid who was in my class, who referred to her as "your ex") So we're that. We're broken up. She's my ex. She's not with me. She's not my friend. She's not anything to me anymore. (she shouldn't be at least... she still is) I wish I could just move on and get rid of these feelings though. I say I never want to see her again and yet I was hoping beyond hope that I'd see her today. What's up with that?

 

It's not worth it anyway man. She's not worth it either. You have to keep reminding yourself that. Stop worrying so much about this irrelevant person when they are no longer a part of your life or resemble anything to do with you. I had a hard time doing that too, but I recently pushed passed all the difficulties and now I could care less what my ex is doing, who with, blah blah, etc! It is truly liberating to finally be able to shrug off her existence and all the pain she has caused me. Of course I still get the "urges" to contact her/ check up on her but they quickly dissipate when I remind myself of all the **** she did to me (lies, manipulation, deceit, etc). Whenever you're feeling down just remind yourself how better off you are without her. She was the one who never deserved you, believe me. You're most likely familiar with the saying, "What goes around, comes around." So let go, live your life and enjoy yourself. Our ex's will get whats coming to them sooner or later, trust me

 

And don't worry about who knows, or what these people say. The only thing that matters is that you know the truth, that you are at least an authentic, genuine human being where she is a delusive monster with no respect or decency for anyone, INCLUDING YOU. In order to open the next chapter in your life you need to close your last. It's not going to happen overnight, you're going to face a lot of adversity before you get to that point in time, but it will get there. You are going to be fine and you are going to be a strong and great individual for it. Just keep that positivity in your life. Keep busy. Go work out, play some sports, hang out with friends, get involved on campus, new hobby, whatever. Improving yourself will show how strong of a person you are, and believe me, your ex will notice when you stop caring about her and she will be irritated, AND that is where you just smirk and laugh at her misery You'll get there my friend, just believe in yourself and live for tomorrow and not for yesterday.I'll be right here with you as I still have to get myself there as well

[LostOne1]

It's not worth it anyway man. She's not worth it either. You have to keep reminding yourself that. Stop worrying so much about this irrelevant person when they are no longer a part of your life or resemble anything to do with you. I had a hard time doing that too, but I recently pushed passed all the difficulties and now I could care less what my ex is doing, who with, blah blah, etc! It is truly liberating to finally be able to shrug off her existence and all the pain she has caused me. Of course I still get the "urges" to contact her/ check up on her but they quickly dissipate when I remind myself of all the **** she did to me (lies, manipulation, deceit, etc). Whenever you're feeling down just remind yourself how better off you are without her. She was the one who never deserved you, believe me. You're most likely familiar with the saying, "What goes around, comes around." So let go, live your life and enjoy yourself. Our ex's will get whats coming to them sooner or later, trust me

 

And don't worry about who knows, or what these people say. The only thing that matters is that you know the truth, that you are at least an authentic, genuine human being where she is a delusive monster with no respect or decency for anyone, INCLUDING YOU. In order to open the next chapter in your life you need to close your last. It's not going to happen overnight, you're going to face a lot of adversity before you get to that point in time, but it will get there. You are going to be fine and you are going to be a strong and great individual for it. Just keep that positivity in your life. Keep busy. Go work out, play some sports, hang out with friends, get involved on campus, new hobby, whatever. Improving yourself will show how strong of a person you are, and believe me, your ex will notice when you stop caring about her and she will be irritated, AND that is where you just smirk and laugh at her misery You'll get there my friend, just believe in yourself and live for tomorrow and not for yesterday.I'll be right here with you as I still have to get myself there as well

Agreed.

 

I swear after what my ex's bro did.. I swear anything I had left for my ex is DEAD. I could care less now if I run into her or not, because I finally accept her as a stranger now. SHE wanted me out of her life.. SHE screwed the relationship up and SHE put me through hell.. SHE got her brother to threaten me.. and I realized she is NOTHING.

 

That's why NO ONE listens to her stories and life experiences. I was the ONLY one that did.. and thats why she went out with me. There is a REASON why no one else went out with her.. because she is messed up.. broken. And the other guy going after her is only doing it, because she is EASY. How easy? so easy that she threw away 3 yrs for a needy guy.

 

And honestly NA49... she hurt you a lot. But it's time to know that it's over. What has helped me is seeing other people. Reassuringly enough I DO NOT compare them to my ex. I see this person as a new relationship and someone that's fun and wouldn't hurt me.

 

I've asked tons of girls out and lots of rejections and today I got a few already tlaking to me non stop. In fact I am talking to 2 girls right now hahah I'm just getting to know them as friends right now to see how we match up.

 

But it's what makes me feel better and realize some girls out there will LOVE me for me man. My ex stopped and that's cool, but that doesn't mean I should give up. There are girls DYING out there man for guys like us.. I KNOW!

 

How? because both these girls told me straight up. In fact one girl has so much in common I can't see how not to spend more time with her. I met her else where and realized she goes to the same NEW school as me and it's her 1st semester too.

 

So man forget the ex she is old news. I'm telling you find girls to talk to.. man if you have to go online do it! DO w.e you need too to interact with girls again. I tell you it will make you forget your ex and remind you of how good and worth it you really are...

[Chi townD]

Okay, so now that you're back at school. It's time to hit the gym. I hope you bring your work out clothes with you!

 

And now, you need to look into some clubs to join on Campus! Time to get to work dude!

[na49]

Quick update. I saw her today! It was in passing, In a crowd of people it was so weird, she just stuck out. Like I didn't see anyone but her. HOLY CRAP my heart started beating so fast. I thought I was going to drop dead right there. I had to go upstairs, I have no idea where she was going. I don't know if she saw me or not though. My hands were shaking in my next class while I was writing. I wasn't as emotional as I was anxious. Hopefully it'll pass, I have to go the same way tomorrow so I may or may not see her.

 

Maybe I'm coming to terms with the fact that she really does have nothing to do with my life anymore. She's a nobody to me. I guess the problem that I'm having is accepting that. She is really nothing to me now, where she used to be everything. She'll continue to go her own way without me, and I have to do the same if I have any plans on getting past this whole thing. She's really a stranger to me. It feels so weird! Gah this all just sucks so much.

 

So far I haven't talked to anyone new. Just continued talking to people I knew from last semester. I never compare anyone I talk to, to my ex. I guess that's a good thing. Probably because everyone I talk to is so different. My ex was a different animal, all about her, very loud. Everyone I talk to is much more calm then that. My friend couldn't do the gym this week otherwise I would have started today. So Monday, I'll be going with or without him. As for clubs, I guess I need to learn about which ones interest me and join them.

[cavalier99]

Ha and you though you would never see her again. Are you ok now?

[na49]

Could be better. I have some homework, but haven't bought the books to do it yet. It's just so sad how we're strangers to each other, I feel like crying but I'm about to go to work now.

[cavalier99]

Could be better. I have some homework, but haven't bought the books to do it yet. It's just so sad how we're strangers to each other, I feel like crying but I'm about to go to work now.

 

I felt like crying also today...for no reason other than its been exactly 4 months. F*ckin recovering form this crap sucks balls.

[Chi townD]

Quick update. I saw her today! It was in passing, In a crowd of people it was so weird, she just stuck out. Like I didn't see anyone but her. HOLY CRAP my heart started beating so fast. I thought I was going to drop dead right there. I had to go upstairs, I have no idea where she was going. I don't know if she saw me or not though. My hands were shaking in my next class while I was writing. I wasn't as emotional as I was anxious. Hopefully it'll pass, I have to go the same way tomorrow so I may or may not see her.

 

Maybe I'm coming to terms with the fact that she really does have nothing to do with my life anymore. She's a nobody to me. I guess the problem that I'm having is accepting that. She is really nothing to me now, where she used to be everything. She'll continue to go her own way without me, and I have to do the same if I have any plans on getting past this whole thing. She's really a stranger to me. It feels so weird! Gah this all just sucks so much.

 

So far I haven't talked to anyone new. Just continued talking to people I knew from last semester. I never compare anyone I talk to, to my ex. I guess that's a good thing. Probably because everyone I talk to is so different. My ex was a different animal, all about her, very loud. Everyone I talk to is much more calm then that. My friend couldn't do the gym this week otherwise I would have started today. So Monday, I'll be going with or without him. As for clubs, I guess I need to learn about which ones interest me and join them.

 

Okay, so you got through your first sighting. It's done! Over with! And you made it through it alive and unscathed. Kinda like a Bigfoot sighting!

 

So, continue on! Your next order of business is to sit next to the cutest girl in your next class. You don't have to say anything, remember, give it time. She may start talking to YOU within a week or two. And yes! Go to the gym. A workout buddy is good, but not required. Hell, I'm sick as a dog right now, and I got my workout in yesterday. You have no more excuses.

 

And YES! Join some clubs! Do your research and make sure it's something fun and active.

[LostOne1]

Quick update. I saw her today! It was in passing, In a crowd of people it was so weird, she just stuck out. Like I didn't see anyone but her. HOLY CRAP my heart started beating so fast. I thought I was going to drop dead right there. I had to go upstairs, I have no idea where she was going. I don't know if she saw me or not though. My hands were shaking in my next class while I was writing. I wasn't as emotional as I was anxious. Hopefully it'll pass, I have to go the same way tomorrow so I may or may not see her.

 

Maybe I'm coming to terms with the fact that she really does have nothing to do with my life anymore. She's a nobody to me. I guess the problem that I'm having is accepting that. She is really nothing to me now, where she used to be everything. She'll continue to go her own way without me, and I have to do the same if I have any plans on getting past this whole thing. She's really a stranger to me. It feels so weird! Gah this all just sucks so much.

 

So far I haven't talked to anyone new. Just continued talking to people I knew from last semester. I never compare anyone I talk to, to my ex. I guess that's a good thing. Probably because everyone I talk to is so different. My ex was a different animal, all about her, very loud. Everyone I talk to is much more calm then that. My friend couldn't do the gym this week otherwise I would have started today. So Monday, I'll be going with or without him. As for clubs, I guess I need to learn about which ones interest me and join them.

It's good when you go through it and it's over. You might go through what I went through.. hoping she runs into you again. But the fact is it DOES show it's over. I mean for me it let me know physically it's over.

 

Trust me by the time the semester ends.. it will feel natural and you will have moved on. I feel the same for myself.. it will be over with and done. Meeting new people sure does distract my ex and with what's been going on lately with me and my ex's family. I just only hate them even more now.

[na49]

I feel like this is my third closure.

 

1. The "I know we ended on bad terms, but I'd like to be friends" text

2. Seeing her twitter and seeing nothing has changed. Seeing pictures of her out with her friends, smiling, laughing having a grand old time with me gone and not even a thought. (Just thought of those pictures again... ouch)

3. Today. Noticing her, walking right past her like she's a stranger and going on with what I needed to do.

 

Work was GREAT for me. I never think of her at work because my mind is focused on something at all times. I like my job too, so I'm having a great time doing what I do. Coming home still gets me though. She'll never be waiting for me to get home so we can text and oovoo anymore. She hasn't been for a while though, so I don't know why it still hurts.

 

God it was so weird, I think she was talking to a guy, but I honestly don't know and didn't care to know. She talks to everyone, so it's kind of hard to figure out if it's her boyfriend unless they're holding hands like we used to but I'm pretty sure it wasn't. I know it's probably typical for me to say this, but she doesn't look as attractive to me anymore. She was wearing lipstick and I still wanted to just kiss her, but not her. The idea I have of her in my head. She's not really THAT attractive though. She also had other disgusting things about her that I won't mention. If you told me about them without her name attached, I'd throw up. With her name attached, I tolerated all of it. Really blinded by love I guess.

 

I was actually pretty pissed that my friend bailed on me. I have to convince myself I'll be going with or without him on Monday. The only problem I have with going without a gym buddy is I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I don't know if this gym has a locker room or not because I've never been there. It looks pretty small from the outside though. I feel like if I go with someone, it'll be easier for me to meet other people because I'll be more comfortable than if I was there by myself. No more excuses though. I HAVE TO GO!

 

As for clubs. Once I get my classes and major sorted out, I'll focus on that. It probably shouldn't be, but going to the gym is more important to me than joining clubs. I commute to school and have work so I don't know when I'd even be able to meet with the clubs.

 

Lost- So has seeing your ex gotten any easier for you? Do you still feel as nervous as you did the first time? It's so weird, I could probably go a different way if I wanted to, but I don't want to just because I want to see her but don't. (I know it's crazy) You're obviously doing a much better job than I am right now with meeting new people. Also I haven't read your thread yet, but her brother was threatening you? That's crazy.

[na49]

Alright so my friend is out for the gym next week. bummer...

 

So I'm going by myself. Damn.

[Simon Phoenix]

Alright so my friend is out for the gym next week. bummer...

 

So I'm going by myself. Damn.

 

It's not that hard. Find a treadmill, run on it. Find a stairmaster, step on it. Find weight machines (not free weights, don't think you are ready for that), lift them. It's not rocket science.

[suladas]

It's way better to go alone. Tons of my friends go to the same gym as me, everyone goes alone. It takes longer, and you don't do as much if you go with someone. Most things are really simple, and you can watch others to see how to use a machine if not sure, or even ask someone there.

[destroyed4sho]

I think its good that you saw her because it demystifies the magical magnificent person we make out our exes to be when we start to miss them.

Maybe when you see her next time, you will be even more disgusted with her to the point where you realize what a mistake she was and won't even care she is around anymore.

Do not approach her, act like she is not there.

Edited January 24, 2013 by destroyed4sho

[Chi townD]

Dude, the hardest part of going to the gym is showing up. Once your there, you figure out a routine that's good for you. Just jump on the elipical, or treadmill. You may want to enquire about trainers there. They may have some and THEY can set up a training routine for you.

 

 

Stop with the excuses. I work, and I can still find the time to work out and still find the time to spend on my hobbies and family. It's all about time management. You just have to make a plan and work it.

[Chi townD]

Oh, and another motivator to get you in the gym? Two words....yoga pants. Go and you'll know what I'm talking about!

[suladas]

Oh, and another motivator to get you in the gym? Two words....yoga pants. Go and you'll know what I'm talking about!

 

Yes. It is by far the best part of going to the gym. I get to stare at hot women running on the treadmill in front of me. I go 6 days a week now, I would go 7 but I get sore and need a day off. The gym gets addicting.

[na49]

No more excuses, I'll be starting Monday no matter what. I figured that the hardest part would actually be going. Once I'm there, once I'm comfortable being there with or without someone, I may even be able to go more. I'll start off next week easy and go maybe 2-3 days only. I've never really worked out, so I don't want to go too crazy yet. I need to find out if there's a locker room or not though, I don't know if there is because it's so small so I either have to wear my gym clothes there or change in the bathroom or something.

 

Didn't see my ex today because I know everyone was wondering I saw a few of her friends and one of the loudest voices in her dumping me (this guy hates me and doesn't even know me. Probably helped her justify the cheating by telling her "he doesn't even care about you"). One of her new "best friends" (dude is totally friend zoned) I saw him twice, it's funny because we both know who the other one is but I've never spoken to him. He just looks at me. I just looked back at him. Then I saw another one of her friends and I was ready to walk right past her, but she said hi so I just said hi and kept walking.

 

I got myself to talk to these two cute girls who sit in front of me and it felt great. Just have to take it slow with everything. I don't feel miserable or anything, let's hope the feeling can last for a significant amount of time.

[Chi townD]

I got myself to talk to these two cute girls who sit in front of me and it felt great. Just have to take it slow with everything. I don't feel miserable or anything, let's hope the feeling can last for a significant amount of time.

 

 

THERE YA GO!!!! Baby steps dude! But, it probably felt really good just to talk to them and interact. Obviously, you not trying to mack on them, but it was just a simple step into breaking out of your shell and stepping back into a world that doesn't have your Ex in it. And your discovering there's actually different people to talk with and hang out with. And all it takes is just putting yourself out there just a little bit. And do you know what will probably happen? These girls are going to get comfortable with you and might just strike up a conversation with you because you aren't a creepy guy that sits behind them and doesn't say anything. And I think it may have helped your self confidence just a tad, but hey! Take it as a small victory.

 

And once you REALLY start moving on your self improvement goals, they're REALLY going to notice the guy sitting behind them with the broad shoulders and 32" waistline with a lean and ripped bod that dresses nice and smells good. That has a trendy haircut. OH!!! and shoes! Really nice and really stylish shoes! Girls always notices a guys shoes. But, try to stay away from metrosexual.

[na49]

Just starting a friendly conversation with them felt great. She actually turned around and asked me if her head was in the way. (I was so close to making a joke and saying yes but I chickened out). The hardest part of meeting people is putting yourself out there and saying something to them. I'm taking any victory I can get lol.

[cavalier99]

Just starting a friendly conversation with them felt great. She actually turned around and asked me if her head was in the way. (I was so close to making a joke and saying yes but I chickened out). The hardest part of meeting people is putting yourself out there and saying something to them. I'm taking any victory I can get lol.

 

Just say the opposite of everything you think is right. Works wonders.

[na49]

Pretty much. The less I think, the better off I am. I wasn't thinking of talking to those two girls, I just did. I need to stop thinking so damn much lol.

 

Of course thinking is all I do now, and I was thinking if I ever became friends with my ex. What would it be like? Like after I was over her completely. The only way I see myself wanting to be her friend is when I find someone new. I can't help but wonder what it'd be like. I do miss her obviously. Probably more just the familiarity, not so much her, the way she is now.

 

Also I can't stand listening to the radio at times. All that's on nowadays are songs that I would only like if I was still with my ex or dating someone else. God damn it sucks.

[na49]

lol the dream I had last night could be very telling. (I like to think it is)

 

I was going to her house, for some reason I had the keys to get in and we were supposed to hang out. BUT she was nowhere to be found! I was texting her like crazy asking where she was with no answer and eventually was so upset that I left. So she wasn't actually in the dream, but it was about her.

 

Thoughts? lol I laid in bed a bit too long thinking of her this morning so I had to get up.

[cavalier99]

lol the dream I had last night could be very telling. (I like to think it is)

 

I was going to her house, for some reason I had the keys to get in and we were supposed to hang out. BUT she was nowhere to be found! I was texting her like crazy asking where she was with no answer and eventually was so upset that I left. So she wasn't actually in the dream, but it was about her.

 

Thoughts? lol I laid in bed a bit too long thinking of her this morning so I had to get up.

 

I was just thinking it will be pretty hilarious when we are over this to go back and browse through the HUNDREDS of posts we have made. Just crazy that a little heartbreak can do this. We are both approaching almost 1000 posts.

 

.. i think we both need to get laid and play some sports. Hmmm I might start playing hockey again. I was really good.