Minneloa Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Yes. Best to eliminate all "triggers" that can set back your healing process. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 I am glad if could at least be helpful. That is why I am so strong about people not giving these awful people anymore chances. The more you give...the more is taken from you. It will drive you insane. Best to walk away. If it helps, it was worth posting. Block him. He is just another casualty; another loss summed up to one evil girl. You must sacrifice these people to moveon... What harm is cheating? Only it is like a nuclear bomb: if the bomb doesn't kill you...radiation and a slow cancer will... It spreads. Cheating destroys more then the cheated/er...other sacrifices are made. That shouldn't be made. Eventually you will reach a strong state of mind...no woman will bring you down again. How about it? Go flirt with some cashier girl. I say cashier girl, cause they cannot runaway. And have to be nice. Pathetic? Not really. They may even flirt back. I tell people this, as a way of getting them to build their confidence. It's like a damaged muscle - you work it out slowly, care for it. It heals. Think of it like an exercise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 I hate how difficult I am making this for myself. but you're both right, I probably should block this guy. He's just another way back to her, I stare down his status updates like a hawk looking for anything that mentions her. I see it. It's some friendly conversation and I just feel sick. I don't even think this guy is her boyfriend, just one of her friends. but him posting about her (and other people) just bugs the crap outta me. The thing that gets me is that this guy has no idea who I am. He's done nothing to me but he's friends with my ex. So I have to block him. Does anyone else know of anyone like the person I'm talking about? The guy who posts EVERYWHERE on EVERYONE'S status updates? lol Any flirting is good for me. Any time I just have a conversation with a girl I think it does numbers for my confidence. I've never really "flirted" before. So I have no idea if I'm "flirting" or just having a conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 I hate how difficult I am making this for myself. but you're both right, I probably should block this guy. He's just another way back to her, I stare down his status updates like a hawk looking for anything that mentions her. I see it. It's some friendly conversation and I just feel sick. I don't even think this guy is her boyfriend, just one of her friends. but him posting about her (and other people) just bugs the crap outta me. The thing that gets me is that this guy has no idea who I am. He's done nothing to me but he's friends with my ex. So I have to block him. Does anyone else know of anyone like the person I'm talking about? The guy who posts EVERYWHERE on EVERYONE'S status updates? lol Any flirting is good for me. Any time I just have a conversation with a girl I think it does numbers for my confidence. I've never really "flirted" before. So I have no idea if I'm "flirting" or just having a conversation. Maybe you are. I am sure of it. Eventually you'll get a new girl...maybe even a wife huh? That will be soo lovely! This girl will be nothing nomore Link to post Share on other sites
iouaname Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 The thing that gets me is that this guy has no idea who I am. He's done nothing to me but he's friends with my ex. So I have to block him. Who cares? He has no idea who you are! I've blocked quite a few people simply for being a trigger of thinking about my ex, and I definitely think it was for the better. I mean - do we really need to be reminded of our exes more than we already are? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jagdude14 Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 I am not feeling good today. I miss my ex too much. 7 wks nc I put too much work in to though. She hasn't even bothered to try to contact me. I miss my beautiful funny happy ex!!! D*mn it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 aaaaaand he's blocked. thanks guys. No more little trap doors for me. I feel relieved, I want to prevent myself from doing what I did last night anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 I am not feeling good today. I miss my ex too much. 7 wks nc I put too much work in to though. She hasn't even bothered to try to contact me. I miss my beautiful funny happy ex!!! D*mn it! Your beautiful funny happy ex doesn't exist anymore. She's not the person you loved. I don't know your story, but they aren't the same people. They've changed and now we need to change. Stay strong! 7 weeks is impressive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 aaaaaand he's blocked. thanks guys. No more little trap doors for me. I feel relieved, I want to prevent myself from doing what I did last night anymore. Well done, sir! Link to post Share on other sites
Author na49 Posted March 2, 2013 Author Share Posted March 2, 2013 It shouldn't have taken that long and I could have done it earlier, but at least it's done. Makes me wonder if he'll notice. I wonder if everyone who I've blocked knows that I blocked them. Aside from my ex of course who definitely knows. I don't think me blocking him really shows weakness or anything. It just shows that I want to move the f*ck on already! Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 It shouldn't have taken that long and I could have done it earlier, but at least it's done. Makes me wonder if he'll notice. I wonder if everyone who I've blocked knows that I blocked them. Aside from my ex of course who definitely knows. I don't think me blocking him really shows weakness or anything. It just shows that I want to move the f*ck on already! I would guess no, no one will notice or care. The only one keeping the drama alive is you, though you made a good step just now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 na-I hope you are preparing for your counseling visit on Monday. Most likely you will only have an hour, so make sure you make the best use of your time. I also hope you schedule another visit when you leave there. Let us all know how it goes. Your mind needs to become unstuck from this girl. I hate facebook...I'm not even on it. The additional problems it causes for people in relationships is insane. I've been busy and have been doing well I suppose. Again, he's still in my mind but its different then before. I have no desire to see him or talk, no interest in him romantically at all. I don't care who he's dating in the least. Funny, my neighbor had a "sighting" of him on the road last week in his truck. She said he looked "like an anxious mess figeting constantly...couldn't sit still." I had to laugh because I could just picture it and it reminded me how chaotic he made my life. My counseling appt went well..we didn't even speak of him! Where I live, its still cold w/ snow. The real test for me will be when spring has truly sprung...and how I feel then. Either way, I would think the worst is now in the past. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Man I've been working hard with a new project I have and all my midterms have kept me SUPER busy. Been with ups and downs but not due to the ex but life itself. For everyone else out there just keep pushing it day and day.... it gets better and when you start new projects or old ones that you gave up for your ex.. things then get MUCH better! Peace out! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 (edited) I hope this isn't premature. But id like to announce: I'M GETTING OVER THE BU! Wooo hoo! (Not 100 percent recovered but WELL on my way) I just am finding i don't have any tears left and I'm finding it hard to give a sh*t anymore. Even when i think about it. The RS and the BU it just isn't bothering me anymore or if it does I can toss it away so much easier. I'm just happier now and don't feel at the mercy of the emotions anymore. I think my last cry a few weeks ago was it. I might still have a way to go but i don't feel like i can go back to the suffering i felt before. Its down hill from here on out! I waited about a week to really say this to see if it would change and it hasn't. Still feel ok. Roller coaster seems to be ending. Rock on! Cav Edited March 3, 2013 by cavalier99 3 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I hope this isn't premature. But id like to announce: I'M GETTING OVER THE BU! Wooo hoo! (Not 100 percent recovered but WELL on my way) I just am finding i don't have any tears left and I'm finding it hard to give a sh*t anymore. Even when i think about it. The RS and the BU it just isn't bothering me anymore or if it does I can toss it away so much easier. I'm just happier now and don't feel at the mercy of the emotions anymore. I think my last cry a few weeks ago was it. I might still have a way to go but i don't feel like i can go back to the suffering i felt before. Its down hill from here on out! I waited about a week to really say this to see if it would change and it hasn't. Still feel ok. Roller coaster seems to be ending. Rock on! Cav I may just enjoy roller coasters becuase as soon as I thought I was almost there, I decided to go around again because well. lets just say.. there was just no one else in line for the ride lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 ^^^whoo hoo! I feel the same...but am still too scared to fully believe it. I know I'm going to HAVE to keep being busy with projects and things to occupy my thoughts and time or I can go back to the sink hole. I am a bit concerned about summer time. I spent the last 2 summers with him and they were nice and fun. Then again, I think of everything that happened and I just want to be AWAY from him totally. Where are we simon on the reconciliation? lol...sorry had to ask. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 ^^^whoo hoo! I feel the same...but am still too scared to fully believe it. I know I'm going to HAVE to keep being busy with projects and things to occupy my thoughts and time or I can go back to the sink hole. I am a bit concerned about summer time. I spent the last 2 summers with him and they were nice and fun. Then again, I think of everything that happened and I just want to be AWAY from him totally. Where are we simon on the reconciliation? lol...sorry had to ask. Ha I must admit I was sorta nervous typing that up. But what the heck. Why not acknowledge it if we've been feeling consistently better. We certainly have no problem posting when we feel like sh*t. Lol I'm a little afraid to acknowledge it also. But i guess ill see if it sticks. This seems to be the 1st time i just can think about the good times or bad times and be OK about it without it producing much of a reaction. I guess sorta INDIFFERENT. Anyway if i back track ill have no trouble posting about it. Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Yea-sorta indifferent. I can't wait till the total indifferent comes and he isn't on my mind at all and I have fully moved on. But OOOOHHHH YEAAAA this sure beats how it felt before!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I am happy for you guys...that are progressing. Keep at it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Yea-sorta indifferent. I can't wait till the total indifferent comes and he isn't on my mind at all and I have fully moved on. But OOOOHHHH YEAAAA this sure beats how it felt before!!!!!!!!!!! That's great! I think if were doing OK we should say so. And what we think more easily becomes reality. So why not reinforce it. So we ARE getting over this! Cav Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I think so too. Now we gotta get na on board the life raft and paddle to shore! I won't even read the grizzly stories on here anymore..been there, done that...movin on! lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 I think so too. Now we gotta get na on board the life raft and paddle to shore! I won't even read the grizzly stories on here anymore..been there, done that...movin on! lol Heh. I read the grizzly and not. I guessy srage is recovered. Thus it doesnt bug me to read them. I grow wiser as I do... Besides my story isnt that grizzly lol just a foolish boy and a dumb girl Anyway I poke you Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 ^^^whoo hoo! I feel the same...but am still too scared to fully believe it. I know I'm going to HAVE to keep being busy with projects and things to occupy my thoughts and time or I can go back to the sink hole. I am a bit concerned about summer time. I spent the last 2 summers with him and they were nice and fun. Then again, I think of everything that happened and I just want to be AWAY from him totally. Where are we simon on the reconciliation? lol...sorry had to ask. Well, I e-mailed my friend (her brother-in-law) explaining that I was seriously contemplating getting back in touch with her, giving him a complete rundown on why. He said it sounds like something I need to do to know for sure and while he couldn't overtly help, he wished me the best of luck and said that he had my back no matter what happens. I'm not sure what that response means other than there's no obvious roadblocks, because he would have told me to abort if there were any obvious red flags/landmines that would have made contact a bad idea. He also didn't say anything that would make me think that it's a slamdunk either, though I'm not sure he would have even if it was. But since it seems like there's nothing standing in my way (was definitely nervous about my friend telling me bad news) the next step is to make contact and see what happens. Not sure when I'll do that, but I'd guess it'll be relatively soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful714 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Kewl! Sounds like all's a go! You know we are going to want the guz. Wish na would swim away from the sharks already and get in the damn boat so we can all move over to "the dating forum" LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Insanity forum is better. Where I moved too and never left now look at me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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