Author na49 Posted April 18, 2013 Author Share Posted April 18, 2013 Went to the counselor today and told her everything. We're discussing how I can be more assertive. Not just in my relationship, but in life in general. Ironically a lot of the examples we talked about had to do with relationships. Saying "No" and the way I say it seems to be a problem of mine. Which could be the reason why I always feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Rock on Cav! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Can't sleep. Too much thinkin tonight. More so then usual. I've been doing good. But what she does with this new guy.. I just feel replaced. Used. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Can't sleep. Too much thinkin tonight. More so then usual. I've been doing good. But what she does with this new guy.. I just feel replaced. Used. Or it could be that she did you a favor and now you have the chance to find someone better rather than being stuck with her..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Went to the counselor today and told her everything. We're discussing how I can be more assertive. Not just in my relationship, but in life in general. Ironically a lot of the examples we talked about had to do with relationships. Saying "No" and the way I say it seems to be a problem of mine. Which could be the reason why I always feel like I'm being taken advantage of. Rock on Cav! Saw mines too.. haha basically told me to see as many girls as possible literally having to get 5 coffee dates for the next week. Lets see how it goes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) Saw mines too.. haha basically told me to see as many girls as possible literally having to get 5 coffee dates for the next week. Lets see how it goes! Is this person your seeing a counselor or a PUA coach! Lol Must say it is a good plan though! Your conunselor rocks! Cav Edited April 19, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
itto ogami Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 "Given the right sequence of events we could have been together for ever. if she only warned me about how she was feeling when she BU up with me I could have addressed it before we got to that point. It would have been easily fixable. " This is your single biggest logic fail and completely counter to the healing you;re going through. Warning you doesn't mean you could stage a personality intervention. Easily fixable? How? Get off this dead-end train of thought. Stick to NC. You're doing great. You're also at the point where you've gone far enough into NC that the reality is settling and that happens within three months. You'll get better. Promise. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Vegas in under 3 weeks, so stoked. Feeling bad for friends who are going who aren't single This trip is so needed with the stress i've had lately with my shoulder injury and workers comp, and it will be the first time i've had more then a few days without seeing or being around the ex, i'm sure it will do me a lot of good. Picking up some hot women will just be a bonus! Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Vegas in under 3 weeks, so stoked. Feeling bad for friends who are going who aren't single This trip is so needed with the stress i've had lately with my shoulder injury and workers comp, and it will be the first time i've had more then a few days without seeing or being around the ex, i'm sure it will do me a lot of good. Picking up some hot women will just be a bonus! Wooo hooo. Im flying out too!! Cav Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Wooo hooo. Im flying out too!! Cav To Vegas? Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 To Vegas? Haha just dreaming. Id love to go and meet up with you guys. Sounds like a blast!. Get laid and ****ed up as much as possible! I want pics. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Haha just dreaming. Id love to go and meet up with you guys. Sounds like a blast!. Get laid and ****ed up as much as possible! I want pics. Lol Oh it will be awesome. There is going to be 4 of us single I believe now of about 12 going, another BU happened recently. My goal is to hook up with 3 women, i'm there for 4 nights so I think that goal is easily do able I'm not sure how many pics will make it back or there might be more BU's after 1 Link to post Share on other sites
destroyed4sho Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Im leaving for a long trip.tomorrow. Im not.that excited.I hope I can recover and forget about ex...anyway I.will.be logging in regardless. btw, I threw out everything of hers I had and my own stuff that reminded me of her in some way...all except 2 rings she gave me, one was an engagement ring ...which I have in my closet way deep. Should I throw the rings out too? Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Or it could be that she did you a favor and now you have the chance to find someone better rather than being stuck with her..... I mean... thats one way to look at it. yet, its hard to feel that way until im actually happy with what has happened. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I mean... thats one way to look at it. yet, its hard to feel that way until im actually happy with what has happened. And you will be at some point.. at some point it won't hurt or matter anymore. But that only will happen when you least expect it like I did... I thought it was over for me.. then some new girl made me realize I can still love and I can move on in life and look for the next one. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 And you will be at some point.. at some point it won't hurt or matter anymore. But that only will happen when you least expect it like I did... I thought it was over for me.. then some new girl made me realize I can still love and I can move on in life and look for the next one. Yea. I do realize I have to stop trying to get over it. And let it just happen. I have been feelin pretty good lately. A lot better then a few months ago. I feel like I'm almost done. But apart of me is afraid to be done with it because..... Then what? I'm so used to being with this pain. It's been there and now it's gone? So I go around looking for reasons to remember now and it's stupid. I went out with friends tonight and had fun. But when I get back home alone... A small part of me wishes I had a person to be with Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Yea. I do realize I have to stop trying to get over it. And let it just happen. I have been feelin pretty good lately. A lot better then a few months ago. I feel like I'm almost done. But apart of me is afraid to be done with it because..... Then what? I'm so used to being with this pain. It's been there and now it's gone? So I go around looking for reasons to remember now and it's stupid. I went out with friends tonight and had fun. But when I get back home alone... A small part of me wishes I had a person to be with And it's okay to feel that way at home. Heck I am over my ex, but many times I get home and feel lonely too. But that's why I am getting myself out there. I want to meet new people and see what's out there. And im sure with time I WILL find someone awesome. Till then I just tell myself some other girl out there is feeling EXACTLY as I am.. that she hates coming home all to just be alone. And is trying to get herself out there to find someone aka me! Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 And it's okay to feel that way at home. Heck I am over my ex, but many times I get home and feel lonely too. But that's why I am getting myself out there. I want to meet new people and see what's out there. And im sure with time I WILL find someone awesome. Till then I just tell myself some other girl out there is feeling EXACTLY as I am.. that she hates coming home all to just be alone. And is trying to get herself out there to find someone aka me! I am getting myself out there as well. But this feeling I have is hard to explain. Its like Im over it, but now apart of me doesnt want to be over it... because then I will be truly done with it. And its weird to think that because of these past 4 months... and now its done on my end? so I put thoughts in my head of her... just to keep it alive. Maybe i like the drama. But then there are times when I do truly miss her. Like now. IDK its been 4 months. I have no more emotional attachment, no more sorrow. but more of an emptiness. And this emptiness I try to fill will with breakup thoughts again because those thoughts are something im used to. I really have no idea. what am I even saying? lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I am getting myself out there as well. But this feeling I have is hard to explain. Its like Im over it, but now apart of me doesnt want to be over it... because then I will be truly done with it. And its weird to think that because of these past 4 months... and now its done on my end? so I put thoughts in my head of her... just to keep it alive. Maybe i like the drama. But then there are times when I do truly miss her. Like now. IDK its been 4 months. I have no more emotional attachment, no more sorrow. but more of an emptiness. And this emptiness I try to fill will with breakup thoughts again because those thoughts are something im used to. I really have no idea. what am I even saying? lol Makes perfect sense. You are right on track. I was the same. Month 4 sorta sucked. Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Makes perfect sense. You are right on track. I was the same. Month 4 sorta sucked. haha well thats good to know that this is normal. I feel like Ishould be with another girl by now... or at least, the old me... before the relationship would have another girl by now. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 haha well thats good to know that this is normal. I feel like Ishould be with another girl by now... or at least, the old me... before the relationship would have another girl by now. You be totally over it in 3 more months and will probably meet some one them. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I am getting myself out there as well. But this feeling I have is hard to explain. Its like Im over it, but now apart of me doesnt want to be over it... because then I will be truly done with it. And its weird to think that because of these past 4 months... and now its done on my end? so I put thoughts in my head of her... just to keep it alive. Maybe i like the drama. But then there are times when I do truly miss her. Like now. IDK its been 4 months. I have no more emotional attachment, no more sorrow. but more of an emptiness. And this emptiness I try to fill will with breakup thoughts again because those thoughts are something im used to. I really have no idea. what am I even saying? lol 4 months is to early buddy.. It took me a good 6 months to get over it and then at 8 months I felt super great. I'm close to 10 months now, so it's good. And with the summer coming it will be a year and this summer I DON'T plan on wasting it on my ex. She killed my summer last year along with a family death. But this year I've vowed to have fun and in fact I already planned and scheduled a family trip in August. So I will be having an awesome summer for sure. Give it time, 4 months is to short. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 She already killed all my fun last quarter in school. Now, theres a party going on at my frat house... tons of girls... but Im reminiscing and locked in my room... Maybe I should make some moves 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 4 months is to early buddy.. It took me a good 6 months to get over it and then at 8 months I felt super great. I'm close to 10 months now, so it's good. And with the summer coming it will be a year and this summer I DON'T plan on wasting it on my ex. She killed my summer last year along with a family death. But this year I've vowed to have fun and in fact I already planned and scheduled a family trip in August. So I will be having an awesome summer for sure. Give it time, 4 months is to short. Took me 6 months of pure NC. Im done with it. I think it is a record for a 8 years RS. Woo hoo. New girl is taking a lot of my time now. I often wonder if i could even go back to being upset anymore over old ex?? So weid after sooo much crying and suffering for it to just end and not really care. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
McDonald Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Took me 6 months of pure NC. Im done with it. I think it is a record for a 8 years RS. Woo hoo. New girl is taking a lot of my time now. I often wonder if i could even go back to being upset anymore over old ex?? So weid after sooo much crying and suffering for it to just end and not really care. I just cant wait for that new girl that will sweep me off my feet. I have to admit. I was ver skeptical about dating my ex... it took me awhile because i didnt know if i wanted a gf or not. And a big thing that pulled me into the RS was the constant sex. So maybe I dont miss "her" as much as I think. Link to post Share on other sites
GB25 Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 I just cant wait for that new girl that will sweep me off my feet. I have to admit. I was ver skeptical about dating my ex... it took me awhile because i didnt know if i wanted a gf or not. And a big thing that pulled me into the RS was the constant sex. So maybe I dont miss "her" as much as I think. Yeah I really dont miss her as a person, she was super immature, and selfish. I miss the sex more than anything..the sex was crazy good. Man, I miss that. Ohhh well. Link to post Share on other sites
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