Do the thoughts ever go away?

[NotaBadGuy]

Just curious. I have been stedfast in the non contact arena for 10 or 11 months now after 2 1/2 year courtship and then a short lived marriage. No contact initiated by myself and 2-3 by the ex. Nothing of any significance though. Each time I was contacted I was pulled right back into the abyss I had just worked so hard to climb out of. I am much better now and actually have the cobwebs cleared from my rational thinking. I used no contact as a self therapy for the pain and hurt I was experiencing at the time. It took longer to jump the initial hurdle, but it does get better with time. I was done wrong, but that is another story.

 

Anyways, the question I have relates to when, if, or if ever, do the thoughts about the ex sibside or go away? Maybe never, maybe someday, maybe on and off? I have a clue but cannot see into the future either. Do these thoughts follow into the rest of your life or dissappear as life unfolds?

[aFighter]

They never really go away. You'll start thinking about them less and less untill you're going months or even years without thinking about it then one day a fleeting thought of her may cross your mind but it won't be anymore significant than the thousands of other memories you have.

[frogprinz29]

My "ex" and I became x's about 7 months ago after being together, on and off, for 9 years. Our last conversation was about 1 or almost 2 months ago I guess, and it didn't end too well. The title of my post reply is how I still feel. I am still tumblin' in the roller coaster madness of emotions and withdrawals of not having her in my life. Some days/moments are better or worse. I believe aFighter pretty much hit it on the nail. Right now, my ex is still the first and last person on my mind of the day. I know that eventually this will dwindle with time and "no contact". I'll be forced to move on for my sake and for hers as well. Eventually "a fleeting thought " of my ex will pass through my mind in the future. I may wonder how she's doin', if she's okay and happy, if she's bein' takin' care of by whomever she is with, and loved. All this, I do hope for her, because I do love her even though we were unable to make things work out. I am still very sad about not havin' her in my life, but I am accepting this fact as I pass everyday and all that we had experienced together will just become memories of a past.

[simplybrill]

A short and simple reply to your question would be:

 

Yes the thoughts go away, and they hurt less, over time. Just be strong, you'll pull through

[NotaBadGuy]

You are all right. I know that I am a heck of a lot better than I was when this all began. I especially know that I am better off without someone who treats marriage with such selfish disregard. So in the end, my battle has been with myself. Yes, I married this girl for a reason, but over time, she became someone who I did not know anymore. I guess it is another lesson learned. I wanted to hate her and was angry about how things ended. But I, too, wish nothing but the best for her and her family. She deserves it. She may have many lessons to learn the hard way along the way, but I still wish her the best.

 

Each day I grow more and more. It has become easier to live life. The future is bright. And in the end, the only person that can hold one back is oneself. Its funny how we can one day look back and say to ourselves, what was I thinking. In my case, I know what I have to offer and one day I will meet a woman who will appreicate it and I will appreciate. For now, thats all I need to know to survive. The heartbreak teaches us how to truly feel. Some of us need to feel more. Remember the good and learn from the bad. That all I have for now.