Sweett Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Throughout the year I've gone from blaming myself/ beating myself up to feeling inadequate, to feeling like god was punishing me. All of which are the wrong ways to feel of course especially when someone betrays u out of there own selfishness. So i went back to my counselor today after 4 months ( hadn't been in 4 months because i thought i was over it but i guess i was stuffing it down). It's amazing how deep self deception is. My ex said all these things after he left me about me being insecure, having a low self esteem and I hated myself, and because my self worth was low i didnt love him, etc ( all bs) but deep down I knew this wasn't true but yet since he said those things and cheated and left me I started to think those things were true or must be true if he left me ( that's that self deception) but he was all of those things because he was the cheater! So I told my counselor well maybe I appeared to be these things to him because of the arguing because my ex would raise his voice and NEVeR listen to me and I felt he raised his voice or over talked me so he wouldn't have to listen. But when someone does that it drains u emotionally, so if because i cried from him not listening I appeared low to him then why couldn't he change his way of communication instead of going to find someone else?My counselor said because he lacks responsibility! I do feel this is true but also seems to lack maturity if u ask me! This person is so manipulative and played a part in me questioning things about myself that I know aren't true and he knows it too... Hell myself esteem was fine when he met me and he knows this but I guess he had to tell himself the opposite to justify his cheating. Has anyone else had a similar self deception event or any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts