LDR Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I met my boyfriend 2 years ago on a dating site and everything had been great. I was even planning on moving with him this summer and we had been talking about marriage. 3 days ago I discovered that one of his dating sites account was still open and he went on dates with 4 different women during these 2 years. I am extremely hurt and disappointed. I loved him so much and now I feel that a part of our relationship was a lie. He seemed very remorseful, and it was only 1 date with each woman (I have proof of that). Said he did it because he is very in love with me, and had some fears. . . states he wanted to make sure he was making the right decision before asking to marry me. I am so confused. We had such a great relationship and I never suspected anything Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 i think his explanation is fair enough and honest, but i'm not in love with him, marriage is a big step, once a ring's on, you might feel better, cuz he chose you, leaving the dates as the mere runners-up, but he must offer reassurances now cuz you're only human Link to post Share on other sites
imfine Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I think his explanation is bull****. So you were faithful to him while he tested the waters to make sure you were the one? So he gets all the information & you only get what he thinks you need to know? He didn't tell you he was seeing other women & you had to find out on your own. He is no KISA for admitting it AFTER confronted. I would bet there is more you don't know about. Was he planning to drop you with no warning if one of his test subjects was a better mate for him? Don't minimize his actions. He was playing the field while you thought you were in a committed relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Said he did it because he is very in love with me, and had some fears. . . states he wanted to make sure he was making the right decision before asking to marry me. Some people are very good at making excuses for themselves on why they do something. Clearly this one isn't a keeper, it doesn't sound like you can rely on him long term, could very well turn out to be a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 His explanation is NOT adequate. He cheated on you- that simple! I had a woman once tell me that I should date so that I can be certain that she was the one I wanted. She could have been honest about this, but she could have also been telling me that she wasn't all that into me. We continued dating for a while longer, but didn't work out. In this situation, it sounded like you were exclusive. So, he cheated. He hid it. Come on! He opened up or continued OLD site to see other women. Only four, but may have likely been more if he wasn't caught, right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gullibleme Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 My opinion is he IS looking for someone better...I was sorta in your shoes when my ex told me he wanted to date other women to see if I was the one he wanted to be with. He strung me along for a couple months but eventually after breaking up with me he was with another girls just a month later....the fact is if he wanted to be with YOU...he would...it hurts sure...but do you want to be with someone who doesn't devote themselves to you....hope you find what you deserve...he's a player in my eyes..sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LDR Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Thank you all for the replies. Some difficult decisions will have to be made. . . Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 He's gaslighting you. What a dick. Especially since he lied about it, or omitted it at the very least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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