Stuff.......

[Brad]

I read post after post reading problems between two people invovled in relationship, everything from "my ____ picks his nose" to "my ____ uses computer to much"... well not exactly things like it but can relate to it.

 

Sometimes people don't realize how lucky they are to have such person in their lives, someone to share a life with, someone to take a stroll through the park at nights, someone to just talk with. All those things are things that you can do together. Not only that, but you always have that special person to hold, that special person to come home to every night after work.

 

You can always count on that special person to be there during rough times. Some of you people in a relationship with a "not so difficult" problem don't understand how lucky you are, that all your problems can be solved by just talking.

 

Not everyone has someone, you people feel bad about yourself but then again there are lonely people out there that doesn't have that special person in their life, or someone that has virtually nobody. Don't get worried and upset by little things, because even though you have little problems you have no idea how lucky you are.

 

I've never been popular, ever since elementary I didn't have very many friends. I was the kid that was picked last during games and activies. Even in high school I wasn't popular, I was overweight. In my life, probably a total of 4 girlfriends.

 

Now 19, I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years - or in that matter any type of relationship with a girl. My best friend since 1st grade became a druggie, so we went seperate ways about 3 years ago. Right now, I don't have friends - the closet friend(s) I got are those I work with, and even then I don't socialize with them outside of work.

 

The last time I went out (mall, movies, or something), probably 3-4 years ago. Imagaine being in my place, everynight I come home, I still live with my parents so at least the house isn't empty.

 

In 5 years they will be retiring and moving totally away from here giving me this house, I don't look forward to that day. Some people would be thrilled, but I don't look forward to the day when I come home from work to a big empty house, nobody here to talk to, nobody here to ask how their day was (vise versa). I don't look forward to being alone.

 

They say money can buy happiness temporarily, for me that's all I have to relie on. But so many people worry about little things, people always fight with their girlfriend/boyfriend and just don't realize how lucky they are.

 

A night doesn't go by that I don't wish I had someone special in my life, sure they say it happens and that there's someone for everyone. But after 5 years of trying and being alone, your self-esteem and motivation hits an all time low.

[Moi]

Brad,

 

You're really switched on!!!

 

A guy with a mind like yours, a guy so appreciative of what a relationship can bring, a guy with common sense, A GUY WHO WILL TALK (OH MY GOD!!!!) have everything and then some going for them in the relationship stakes.

 

My God, just looking at what you wrote there, you have NOOOOO reason to half a low self-esteem.

 

The people you have met are probably shallow and not worth the time and effort and don't deserve someone like you.

 

Don't give up. Take a long hard look at yourself and who you are. You sound like a pretty awesome guy to know. You are really going to make some woman soooo happy and you never know. She could be just around the corner. And she's going to be so lucky to have you!!

I read post after post reading problems between two people invovled in relationship, everything from "my ____ picks his nose" to "my ____ uses computer to much"... well not exactly things like it but can relate to it. Sometimes people don't realize how lucky they are to have such person in their lives, someone to share a life with, someone to take a stroll through the park at nights, someone to just talk with. All those things are things that you can do together. Not only that, but you always have that special person to hold, that special person to come home to every night after work. You can always count on that special person to be there during rough times. Some of you people in a relationship with a "not so difficult" problem don't understand how lucky you are, that all your problems can be solved by just talking.

 

Not everyone has someone, you people feel bad about yourself but then again there are lonely people out there that doesn't have that special person in their life, or someone that has virtually nobody. Don't get worried and upset by little things, because even though you have little problems you have no idea how lucky you are. I've never been popular, ever since elementary I didn't have very many friends. I was the kid that was picked last during games and activies. Even in high school I wasn't popular, I was overweight. In my life, probably a total of 4 girlfriends.

 

Now 19, I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years - or in that matter any type of relationship with a girl. My best friend since 1st grade became a druggie, so we went seperate ways about 3 years ago. Right now, I don't have friends - the closet friend(s) I got are those I work with, and even then I don't socialize with them outside of work.

 

The last time I went out (mall, movies, or something), probably 3-4 years ago. Imagaine being in my place, everynight I come home, I still live with my parents so at least the house isn't empty.

 

In 5 years they will be retiring and moving totally away from here giving me this house, I don't look forward to that day. Some people would be thrilled, but I don't look forward to the day when I come home from work to a big empty house, nobody here to talk to, nobody here to ask how their day was (vise versa). I don't look forward to being alone. They say money can buy happiness temporarily, for me that's all I have to relie on. But so many people worry about little things, people always fight with their girlfriend/boyfriend and just don't realize how lucky they are. A night doesn't go by that I don't wish I had someone special in my life, sure they say it happens and that there's someone for everyone. But after 5 years of trying and being alone, your self-esteem and motivation hits an all time low.

[annie]

The only time you will have the chance to meet someone special is to go out and meet people.Stop locking yourself up in your home. You got to go and get it it will not walk your way. I know it is easier said then done. I got devorced 2 years ago after 6 years and was dating him for 5 years before we got married. He then stuffed me around with someone at work. It felt as if there is no life afterwards.I locked myself in for weeks on one and then one day I picked up my head and started going out and meeting people and descovered there is life out there you got to go get it. My self asteem was run down to the ground but yes I went to a pshicologist and she helped me alot. Today I am a person with such a social life. The most important thing is never say never. Good luck!

I read post after post reading problems between two people invovled in relationship, everything from "my ____ picks his nose" to "my ____ uses computer to much"... well not exactly things like it but can relate to it. Sometimes people don't realize how lucky they are to have such person in their lives, someone to share a life with, someone to take a stroll through the park at nights, someone to just talk with. All those things are things that you can do together. Not only that, but you always have that special person to hold, that special person to come home to every night after work. You can always count on that special person to be there during rough times. Some of you people in a relationship with a "not so difficult" problem don't understand how lucky you are, that all your problems can be solved by just talking.

 

Not everyone has someone, you people feel bad about yourself but then again there are lonely people out there that doesn't have that special person in their life, or someone that has virtually nobody. Don't get worried and upset by little things, because even though you have little problems you have no idea how lucky you are. I've never been popular, ever since elementary I didn't have very many friends. I was the kid that was picked last during games and activies. Even in high school I wasn't popular, I was overweight. In my life, probably a total of 4 girlfriends.

 

Now 19, I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years - or in that matter any type of relationship with a girl. My best friend since 1st grade became a druggie, so we went seperate ways about 3 years ago. Right now, I don't have friends - the closet friend(s) I got are those I work with, and even then I don't socialize with them outside of work.

 

The last time I went out (mall, movies, or something), probably 3-4 years ago. Imagaine being in my place, everynight I come home, I still live with my parents so at least the house isn't empty.

 

In 5 years they will be retiring and moving totally away from here giving me this house, I don't look forward to that day. Some people would be thrilled, but I don't look forward to the day when I come home from work to a big empty house, nobody here to talk to, nobody here to ask how their day was (vise versa). I don't look forward to being alone. They say money can buy happiness temporarily, for me that's all I have to relie on. But so many people worry about little things, people always fight with their girlfriend/boyfriend and just don't realize how lucky they are. A night doesn't go by that I don't wish I had someone special in my life, sure they say it happens and that there's someone for everyone. But after 5 years of trying and being alone, your self-esteem and motivation hits an all time low.

[sparkle]

Wow Brad,

 

Thank you! You don't know how much your email helped me.

 

It made me feel ashamed that I take a lot of things I have for granted, and that I've been making a big deal out of insignificant issues.

 

You sound like a wonderful guy. There are things you need to realize to make your life even better. Popularity in school--whether elementary or high school--doesn't matter.

 

I was very shy and didn't have too many friends up through high school even.

 

You're 19 years old, 4 girlfriends at that age is plenty! Many guys I know (in their 20's) have yet to have a girlfriend. Consider yourself lucky! Myself, I had dated only 2 guys by the time I graduated high school.

 

It wasn't until 2 years ago, when I myself was 19, that I became very outgoing and met lots of people, and had the opportunity to get involved in relationships.

 

Please don't let your past discourage you; especially not based on how popular you were in high school. To give you more examples, you are not alone. Others have gone through this and made it alright, you will be okay too. My boyfriend admitted to being the biggest 'nerd' throughout high school, he was shy and quiet, no girlfriends. It wasn't until he was about 21 or 22 that he met some people and totally turned around 180 degrees. He started going out, and through his profession, he met tons and tons of girls.

 

Did I care that he wasn't popular in high school? Not the least bit. It will not matter to others. Don't be discouraged.

 

You will be okay. You will meet the right person one day; before that, you might meet lots of wrong people, but don't worry. You need to get yourself to meet these people.

 

You just need a push. I don't even know you, but from this one email, you really made me realize a lot of things. You seem like a great guy. I know quite a few # of guys, yet not as many that are able to express themselves like you do. You just need to see all the great qualities that you have in you.

 

Don't put yourself down. Increase your self-esteem. Go out, make more friends. It's not as hard as you might think it to be.

 

~*~sparkle~*~

[Deejette]

Brad,

 

You sound like you have a lot to offer in a relationship, and when you get yourself out there and try a few times (even get rejected a few times and find out that you survived it) you will meet someone who will appreciate who and what you are.

 

You can see from the postings on this site to you, that you have a lot of positive support and response.

Wow Brad, Thank you! You don't know how much your email helped me. It made me feel ashamed that I take a lot of things I have for granted, and that I've been making a big deal out of insignificant issues.

 

You sound like a wonderful guy. There are things you need to realize to make your life even better. Popularity in school--whether elementary or high school--doesn't matter. I was very shy and didn't have too many friends up through high school even. You're 19 years old, 4 girlfriends at that age is plenty! Many guys I know (in their 20's) have yet to have a girlfriend. Consider yourself lucky! Myself, I had dated only 2 guys by the time I graduated high school. It wasn't until 2 years ago, when I myself was 19, that I became very outgoing and met lots of people, and had the opportunity to get involved in relationships. Please don't let your past discourage you; especially not based on how popular you were in high school. To give you more examples, you are not alone. Others have gone through this and made it alright, you will be okay too. My boyfriend admitted to being the biggest 'nerd' throughout high school, he was shy and quiet, no girlfriends. It wasn't until he was about 21 or 22 that he met some people and totally turned around 180 degrees. He started going out, and through his profession, he met tons and tons of girls. Did I care that he wasn't popular in high school? Not the least bit. It will not matter to others. Don't be discouraged. You will be okay. You will meet the right person one day; before that, you might meet lots of wrong people, but don't worry. You need to get yourself to meet these people. You just need a push. I don't even know you, but from this one email, you really made me realize a lot of things. You seem like a great guy. I know quite a few # of guys, yet not as many that are able to express themselves like you do. You just need to see all the great qualities that you have in you. Don't put yourself down. Increase your self-esteem. Go out, make more friends. It's not as hard as you might think it to be. ~*~sparkle~*~

[Paranoia]

After reading what you have wrote...I don't know, but I felt very sad. I used to feel like that when I was under heavy depression. Sorry if I'm too direct, but I think you are experiencing severe depression and I felt like sharing it with you. I honestly think that people who posted above are really touched and wanted to give you encouragement, but I'm not sure if they really do understand the extent of what you ARE experiencing, or feeling. I know this might come across as arrogant to some, but I think that I do have some idea of what you are going through. So please bare with my attempt to ease your lonely soul. It might sound harsh and judgemental at times, but it's because I want to help.

 

I feel that you have all this caring feeling and you know how to appreciate life better than those who are busy going around superficially interacting with people, but what are you doing with all these merits? You are keeping them to yourself. I finally came to realize that you reap what you sow...if you want friends...I mean, "real" friends...you have to open up yourself to people. Don't be afraid. There are many people who feel the same way as you, but are afraid to open up and give it a chance to making new friends that everybody's lonely inside. So everybody's not being able to connect on the outside. I am currently befriending great people and it took me 3 freaking years after I moved to this town to finally meet people who I can consider good friends.

 

The first step to that was...that I finally thought that I had to make a move and try to connect and it happened! All these years I was depressed and sad that I didn't have friends and I stayed home online day and night thinking that people on the net are my true friends...but you know, there's a limit to that connection. And it still leaves you empty...like the superficial people I meet in person. So no matter where you are, or who you are, you have the ability to make connections once you reach out.

 

I believe you will be able to make great friends...since you are a great person who can "feel" and appreciate so many things that people regularly miss. Once people who share similar visions of life see that quality in you, they will appreciate becoming friends with you. You just have to give them a chance to see it though. What you have written here was the most painful and sad posting I have read in years. It was beyond relationship issues, but a broader issue of human relationships in general and I think if you have the ability to understand it to that extent, you are a very mature person. You actually live one life...and you have all the control of how you want to feel about it.

 

I also noticed that you mentioned weight issues...I used to be heavy and that was a major part of my depression. Now I exercise...even though I get extremely lazy, but at least I try. I don't know, but I do feel much more attractive after I sweat a bit. It's a strange feeling, but I think it helps boost my confidence. I'm still heavy in my mind, but the idea of trying to change something in my life is what makes me feel good about myself. I don't know if this is your case, but I think that when somebody "tries", that's really attractive...as a human being. So many people don't appreciate what they have because they are so caught up in their own mini-dramas of life, but yes, when you see it from the outside...it makes you wonder, why can't they just see what they have? Why do they fight over such small things...because they never stopped and thought about the bigger picture I guess.

 

So what I want to say is...go and rent movies, hang out with your co-workers...if they don't want to, then go out to book stores, coffee shops...wherever, then go and smile at people ...take it one step at a time...connect with the world. Then before you notice, you will have a glow to you that will make people notice you more.

 

I don't know how it sounded...I guess it ended up like a lecture, but I hope you got the idea. If you feel like writing more, please do so...at least this is the first step reaching out, isn't it?