NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 So, we had a relationship for like 1.5 years, and we were really in love. He dumped me cause as she said, she couldnt stand my jealousy, she was crying a lot because of these and i was talking very bad to her sometimes. Its true. The thing is that, after that, se had sex with 2 other guys. With Someone she knew barely 2 months, and with my ex-best friend. (we were NOT in a relationship). i never knew about that, till know. We were back together afther 1 year, and started to talk about our exes. She was crying and she couldnt tell me, but i had to know so.... she did. She also said it was stupid, and that she doenst even respect herself for doing such a thing, she couldnt even talk to me after that. What should i do? should i forgive her? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Of course you should not forgive her....Your friend? Some friend you got there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Of course you should not forgive her....Your friend? Some friend you got there. i did some bad things too. No cheating or something like that, but i was talking very bad to her sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 i did some bad things too. No cheating or something like that, but i was talking very bad to her sometimes. Yeah that is bad, but she slept with your friend. You should be angry at both her AND your friend. Mainly your friend. I would be pretty pissed if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Yeah that is bad, but she slept with your friend. You should be angry at both her AND your friend. Mainly your friend. I would be pretty pissed if I were you. he is not my friend for over a year now. I really dont care about him, its her that im angry with. But she seemed really bad after saying that, like she really wished it didnt happen. She said she felt sick after this ended. Dont know... Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Sounds like she had revenge sex. She knew that somehow you would have found out about it and be really upset. At the time, she probably thought that there was no way you two would have ever got back together. But, as it is, you two found each other again. So, was it immature? Yep! Was it cruel? YEP! And the question you have to ask yourself. If she was capable of doing that much cruelty to you once. Is she capable of doing it again? That's for you to decide. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Sounds like she had revenge sex. She knew that somehow you would have found out about it and be really upset. At the time, she probably thought that there was no way you two would have ever got back together. But, as it is, you two found each other again. So, was it immature? Yep! Was it cruel? YEP! And the question you have to ask yourself. If she was capable of doing that much cruelty to you once. Is she capable of doing it again? That's for you to decide. I really dont know man. She seamed REALLY awful for doing this. The only thing that calms me a bit is that we were not in a relationship when this happened. What do you think? is she going to do something that bad again? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I really dont know man. She seamed REALLY awful for doing this. The only thing that calms me a bit is that we were not in a relationship when this happened. What do you think? is she going to do something that bad again? I don't know. You know her, I don't. But, out of 7 billion people on the planet she choose to sleep with your best friend. Now, she's feeling awful. A lot of girls would say, "Sorry, but WE weren't together at the time and it just happened." The fact that she feels awful about it now, kind of makes me think that revenge sex and going out of her way to hurt you was her intended goal at the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Ok, so let me make sure I have this straight...you two were together, but you were saying hateful things to her and were really jealous, right? So she broke up with you. In the time you two were not together, she had sex. Now you're back together, and she's upset because in the past you reacted quite jealously, and she's afraid to lose you because...she did nothing wrong? You two weren't together. If you don't want to be with her because she slept with your ex-best friend when you were WERE NOT TOGETHER, that's fine. But I certainly don't see why she should feel bad. And it doesn't matter how long she knows a guy before she sleeps with him. That's her business and her business only. Now, again, you don't have to date her. But she doesn't have to disclose the details of her sex life to you or feel guilty about what she did when you two weren't together. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I don't know. You know her, I don't. But, out of 7 billion people on the planet she choose to sleep with your best friend. Now, she's feeling awful. A lot of girls would say, "Sorry, but WE weren't together at the time and it just happened." The fact that she feels awful about it now, kind of makes me think that revenge sex and going out of her way to hurt you was her intended goal at the time. I don't think it was necessarily revenge sex. She could be crying because his jealousy was really bad in the past, which he admitted to. I cried over a lot of things that my ex made me feel bad about that weren't actually bad. He just wanted to be the victim instead of owning his own issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Forgot to mention that since this guy hasn't been your best friend in over a year, and it sounds like you and your ex are back together now after a year apart....he wasn't your best friend when she slept with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Forgot to mention that since this guy hasn't been your best friend in over a year, and it sounds like you and your ex are back together now after a year apart....he wasn't your best friend when she slept with him? He was then. We were talking, never mentioned anything. I dont really care about him, only thing i care about and i CANT understand, is WHY she did this! I mean, if she loved me, she really wouldnt sleep with my best friend, jeez... Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 It doesn't matter. You treated her badly enough to make her break up with you. She didn't cheat on you. Again, you have a choice as to whether or not you want to be with her. I wouldn't fault you if you didn't. But I don't think it's right to make her feel bad or be furious with her. She didn't actually do anything wrong. Once you and someone else break up, you aren't required to stay faithful to each other anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 It doesn't matter. You treated her badly enough to make her break up with you. She didn't cheat on you. Again, you have a choice as to whether or not you want to be with her. I wouldn't fault you if you didn't. But I don't think it's right to make her feel bad or be furious with her. She didn't actually do anything wrong. Once you and someone else break up, you aren't required to stay faithful to each other anymore. Ok, leave your girl-ish mind for a bit, and pick your sense mind. It doesnt matter if we were together or not, he WAS MY BEST FRIEND. So what does that mean anyway?! That everytime we break up, she is going to have sex with all my friends? Or something better... When we are together, she doesnt have feelings for anyone else but me, AND SUDENLY when we break up, she wants to have sex with a bunch of guys? i mean, REALLY? When you love someone you certainly dont react this way. This is really immature. What she did, is BAD. it wasnt cheating, but it was BAD. Now i just dont know if i should trust her anymore, i dont know if she would do something like that again, or worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Ok, leave your girl-ish mind for a bit, and pick your sense mind. It doesnt matter if we were together or not, he WAS MY BEST FRIEND. So what does that mean anyway?! That everytime we break up, she is going to have sex with all my friends? Or something better... When we are together, she doesnt have feelings for anyone else but me, AND SUDENLY when we break up, she wants to have sex with a bunch of guys? i mean, REALLY? When you love someone you certainly dont react this way. This is really immature. What she did, is BAD. it wasnt cheating, but it was BAD. Now i just dont know if i should trust her anymore, i dont know if she would do something like that again, or worse. My mind is perfectly logical, thanks. HE was your best friend. HE owed something to you, NOT HER. Every time you break up? How many freaking times are you planning on breaking up? And she can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS when she is single. SO CAN YOU. FFS, either get over this or don't, but I still don't think she should be so upset. Since you want to make this about gender, man up and dump her if you can't handle it. I'm done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NickleSix Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 My mind is perfectly logical, thanks. HE was your best friend. HE owed something to you, NOT HER. Every time you break up? How many freaking times are you planning on breaking up? And she can do WHATEVER SHE WANTS when she is single. SO CAN YOU. FFS, either get over this or don't, but I still don't think she should be so upset. Since you want to make this about gender, man up and dump her if you can't handle it. I'm done. you are just skipping what im saying, and you keep repeating yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 So, we had a relationship for like 1.5 years, and we were really in love. He dumped me cause as she said, she couldnt stand my jealousy, she was crying a lot because of these and i was talking very bad to her sometimes. Its true. The thing is that, after that, se had sex with 2 other guys. Sounds like she was making an excuse so she could go out and get some. And if she screwed 2 guys immediately after breaking up, it only shows that she was giving you a reason to be jealous. And in an instance like that its not really jealousy, it is legitimate concern that your gf isn't exactly trustworthy. With Someone she knew barely 2 months, and with my ex-best friend. (we were NOT in a relationship). i never knew about that, till know. We were back together afther 1 year, and started to talk about our exes. She was crying and she couldnt tell me, but i had to know so.... she did. She also said it was stupid, and that she doenst even respect herself for doing such a thing, she couldnt even talk to me after that. What should i do? should i forgive her? No. She obviously gave you a reason to be "jealous", and then used that as an excuse to dump you so she could have sex with other guys. The next time there is a problem, she'll blame you again. Move on to greener pastures my man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Usually a wife or a GF does not dump their man unless they have a replacement for their man already in place. So odds are your GF had already been cheating on you before she broke up with you. Tell your GF you need a polygraph test to determine the truth about want happened before your broke up and during the break up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Johnson Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Tresa's advice sounds like something that comes from a completely one-sided feministic point of view that believes women can do whatever they want and should never be held accountable. Im pretty sure if her bf banged her BF she would not be so level headed. OP, your girlfriend chose to deal with your relationship issues by banging your friend. Whats going to happen next time you guys get in a fight? Level headed is not even the best word to describe her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michael Johnson Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Sounds like she was making an excuse so she could go out and get some. And if she screwed 2 guys immediately after breaking up, it only shows that she was giving you a reason to be jealous. And in an instance like that its not really jealousy, it is legitimate concern that your gf isn't exactly trustworthy. No. She obviously gave you a reason to be "jealous", and then used that as an excuse to dump you so she could have sex with other guys. The next time there is a problem, she'll blame you again. Move on to greener pastures my man. Agreed. And most women will not just up and leave her man unless she already has a replacement and in this case, it looked like she did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 If you feel that she is contrite than you should forgive her. Don't get me wrong, you should never enter into a relationship with her as what she did she did for spite. There is no coincidence that she picked that corn dog of friend of yours. She knew he would betray you and she knew she would hurt you for the things you had done to her. Life is too short to continue a damaged relationship, I think it is time to forgive and move on to a more stable relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 My best friend is male, so if an ex slept with my best friend, that would be awesome and I'd ask if they took any pictures. That being said, I had a close, close friend who ended up sleeping with my ex after we were broken up. I didn't care because....we were broken up. I also specifically stated that if the OP had a problem, then he shouldn't be with her. Never did I say he should be with her and get over it. Either be with her and get over it, or don't be with her. Once you and someone else are broken up, you have no say in who they sleep with. All you have say in is whether or not you be with them again. **** or get off the pot. As for the feminist thing...that's laughable. I've given equal support to men whose women are total bitches. I don't discriminate. Nice try, though. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Usually a wife or a GF does not dump their man unless they have a replacement for their man already in place. Exactly. The saying goes something like: a monkey doesn't let go of one branch before grabbing onto the next. No pun intended. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I don't think it was necessarily revenge sex. She could be crying because his jealousy was really bad in the past, which he admitted to. I cried over a lot of things that my ex made me feel bad about that weren't actually bad. He just wanted to be the victim instead of owning his own issues. Sorry, but I hate to disagree with you on this one. There's certain things you just don't do. And that's sleep with your Ex's best friend or family members right after you break up. That's just wrong. Now, I assume that his best friend is his EX best friend because of this. He lost a lot from her actions. I mean, don't tell me that if you found out that your Ex slept with your best friend or your sister, you wouldn't be hurt and chaulk it up to "Oh well! We weren't together!" It would be one thing if it were one of his co-workers or a girls that he met a few times or even someone he met on a dating site. Then, I would agree, none of his business. But, to sleep with someone that you lean on and depend on to help you get through the tough times, well, that's just mean. And it's going to hurt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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