Maddy Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Whenever someone complains about their parents being too nosy or try to tell them how to live their life. They are portrayed as being ungrateful and unappreciative by people who just don't get it by saying "they just want the best for you" or "you should be thankful that they care" and other irritating things to make that person feel bad for the feelings they have. They don't realize the negative impact it has on the adult child/parent relationship. The person complaining is not asking their parents to not care at all, but they don't want to be smothered either. There has to be a balance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Yep, definitely gotten that. And it's usually by people who are not familiar with your background or could be a cultural difference. While it's true our parents could be doing the best they "know how" it doesn't always make it right. But it definitely is frustrating when someone makes assumptions about your family when they have no clue. But look at it this way, it could be an attempt to make you feel better, even if it's not necessarily true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 I've gotten that a few times on here. It's easy to say if you haven't lived it. Link to post Share on other sites
TwinkletOes26 Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 So have I sugar...especially when i first joined here. I was even called lazy,ungrateful and everything else you can imagine because I could not find a job(even with a degree) and my mother who had the only car (you have to work to be able to buy your own right)refused to give me rides to interviews or to job vacancies she didnt aprove of (working at a liquor store). I was told to take the bus but where I lived was a rural area so no public transport. The nearest city had a busy system but it was 30 mins away by CAR and even then that bus system only ran until 8 pm. I was told I was making excuses and could walk to work. Again I lived in a woody rural area and the nearest city where the jobs were took 30 mins to get there by car now imagine walking in the woods trying to get to a job interview. Things got even worse for me because after i got finally found work my mother insisted that she stay in the office lobby at my job because she wanted to be sure it was "safe" this is an office in the middle of the suburbs with the police station down the road. My employer was not happy and she actually ARGUED with my employer about her being able to stay.I had no choice because her rule was I could only drive her car with her in it no matter if it was to the store or MY JOB.My friends lived two hours away and had their own jobs to get to so i couldnt ask them for help. My other family members just stated that my mom was crazy and they werent getting involved. I was so happy when i bought my own car that was no picnic either..because my mother tried to nose her way into what kind of car i got and even tried to tell me where to go in my own vehicle that i was paying for. It is easy to say "well just move" especially if your parents were normal and encouraged indepedence not try to stomp it out.If I lived my life like my mom wants Id be at home until i got married and that would never happen because shed try to nose her way into any relationship. You know she came to my job after being told she couldnt come to disturb me at work to demand to meet my boyfriend who i was going out on my lunch break with. We had only been dating a month at the time and I told her I didnt want her to meet him yet she did anyway. Then when I tried to get her to leave she threatened to cause a scene AT MY JOB. I finally was able to move out and have been out for almost two years now it has been a rough road to freedom and I would never want to go back. People just dont get how hard it is with the job market and then add crazy controlling parents on top of it. It would help if others realize not everyones life is the same and so your advice should come somewhat from the situtaional scope the person is talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 People forget that the economy isn't The same as it was decades ago. I hope the people that insulted me have to move back home because of this economy/ divorce etc. Maybe i should then call them lazy? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 People don't seemto realize that even living hours away, people still don't live on campus here. It's not like America. Link to post Share on other sites
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