Shim_kattty Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 I was always best friends with this guy whom I dated for a short period of time. We stopped talking but only for about a month or two & just recently started back talking as friends. I've been having family issues & the other day I was talking to him & he welcomed me with open arms. I wasn't liking him as anything more than a friend because he has a gf but when I went to his house yesterday I cried like no tomorrow because I just didn't want to go back home. He hugged & comforted me like he used to & then we talked & he cheered me up a little. Today I went over to cook him a meal because he wasn't feeling good & afterwards we went & got in the bed (him lying horizontally @ the bottom & me vertical with my feet under him) to take a nap. We slept for majority of the day but never touched each other in any sexual manner. We got up & went to get a meal & then he took me home where he hugged me & assured me everything would be okay with my situation. I Love him I do, but I want to know if you guys think I should continue this friendship or do you think we'll catch feelings again & it's a bad idea? Link to post Share on other sites
redleader Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 If you keep carrying on in this manner I think someone is going to get hurt unless you both clearly define what you want to each other up front. Otherwise he might be taking these actions as you wanting more the more and more intimacy you share. Don't rely on him doing this for you, most guys are hard programmed to get sex despite whatever higher function tells them otherwise, you are both a few drinks away from from it going to a place you didn't intend that could screw it all up if that isn't what you wanted in the first place. If it isnt, do not lie in bed with him, period. As a man who has done this with a woman it drives us completely insane. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
user6667 Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Seems to me you are much closer to him than his GF. I figure he will decide if he wants to be with you. Maybe you should ask him if he wants to be with you. If he can be in bed with you without touching you, he is either a saint or doesnt have (enough) feelings for you. imho. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Where are your boundaries (and his)? I would not be in a guy's bed unless he was my boyfriend. I feel bad for his girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 If it isnt, do not lie in bed with him, period. Ditto. You shouldn't be in his bed at all, ever, if you are platonic friends.* If I were this guy's girlfriend, I'd be pretty pissed that you were in the bed with him, even if nothing happened. One thing leads to another, if not now, then eventually. Be careful with physical affection and what you each do for another -- people easily get into being affectionate or doing things for an opposite sex friend that are better saved for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Have some clear boundaries about what is an is not permissible. Here's one place to start: ask yourself, "If I had a bf, might he be upset or concerned if I did X with my (male) friend?" If the answer is "yes," don't do it. Better yet, "If we do X, would his gf be upset or concerned?" If yes, don't do it. *With the exceptions of a married man giving a tour of his home to guests (with wife present) and a man needing to show service personnel where the master bedroom/bath was for practical reasons, I have NEVER known a man to show a woman his bedroom if he wasn't contemplating having her sexually in that bedroom in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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