Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

[irc333]

It's really not that complicated. sperm is cheap while eggs are far more expensive. The fact that we find women more attractive as a gender is a result of this basic fact. It's why men have developed higher sex drives... It's why most(except for the top) males receive fewer compliments on how cute they are after going through puberty and the opposite happens for most women. It's why women are the fairer sex.

 

 

Exactly, men used to stand up for women when the entered and left a room, now it's displayed in other ways.

[Mme. Chaucer]

compare the comments

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enwhqzyrdTc

 

Armani Exchange Presents Model Interview: Alex Cunha - YouTube

 

I'm perplexed about why you think that commentary from random women about what they're responding to would have any effect on what I KNOW I respond to. That means NOTHING to me.

 

Why don't you take what the women here are saying seriously? We aren't lying.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I wouldn't say that every girl or even most girls finds gosling or norton to be attractive.

 

Ryan Gosling is a phenomenon in causing hysterical love in masses of women. Check the Internet for that, since you love to look for stuff. Just Google "Ryan Gosling Obsession." You can start here:

 

A Veblenesque Gorge - Your Girlfriend?s Obsession with Ryan Gosling, Explained

 

Men's faces develop far more during puberty and this happens for a reason. There is a method to the madness.

 

The reason is that testosterone affects facial structure. If I took a lot of it, I'd end up looking more manly in the face myself.

[xxoo]

Why don't you take what the women here are saying seriously? We aren't lying.

 

It's odd. When women are telling you that they DO lust for their partners, as much or more than they lust for model-types, why would a man want to argue with that?

[ThaWholigan]

What you don't understands (because men typically aren't wired the same way) is that an average looking man with other traits can get a woman hotter than a "hot" guy without those traits. Visuals can trigger our lust, but no more so than other traits. Our brains are different.

 

You think we are "settling" with less physically attractive men. I'm saying that the man who gets me the most aroused is not necessarily the physically ideal man. Am I "settling" for a lesser attractive guy, if he turns me on more?

I think we should give it up, let them have their misguided view.......

[Mme. Chaucer]

It's odd. When women are telling you that they DO lust for their partners, as much or more than they lust for model-types, why would a man want to argue with that?

 

I KNOW. Not only argue with it - but provide us with links to prove to us that we don't really feel the way we feel. Links of YouTube comments.

[PJKino]

What you don't understands (because men typically aren't wired the same way) is that an average looking man with other traits can get a woman hotter than a "hot" guy without those traits. Visuals can trigger our lust, but no more so than other traits. Our brains are different.

 

You think we are "settling" with less physically attractive men. I'm saying that the man who gets me the most aroused is not necessarily the physically ideal man. Am I "settling" for a lesser attractive guy, if he turns me on more?

 

Please both genders are equally visual..women have voted presidents in because they were good looking {Kennedy] they make horrific pop bands millions because they buy their music because of how they look.. they lust over hot celebrities etc

 

Men can also lust after women in different ways were not all the same neither are all women..difference is we arent just visually stimulated by only the top% of women like women are with men..

Edited January 6, 2013 by PJKino

[xxoo]

Please both genders are equally visual..women have voted presidents in because they were good looking {Kennedy] they make horrific pop bands millions because they buy their music because of how they look.. they lust over hot celebrities etc

 

Men can also lust after women in different ways were not all the same neither are all women..difference is we arent just visually stimulated by only the top% of women like women are with men..

 

Your second paragraph describes how we are not equally visual.

 

Women are less stimulated by visuals alone than men.

 

Women are more stimulated in other ways than men.

 

Bottom line: If you are a man, you can rest assured. You don't have to be physically hot to set a woman's panties on fire. You have other avenues to creating lust available. Lucky you!

[GoodOnPaper]

What you don't understands (because men typically aren't wired the same way) is that an average looking man with other traits can get a woman hotter than a "hot" guy without those traits. Visuals can trigger our lust, but no more so than other traits. Our brains are different.

 

I wonder if the styles of "lust" in those two cases are also different. I think society's "standard" for lust is shifting toward the more visceral, visual-oriented variety that we typically associate with the male point of view. Outside of movies and advertising, is that how it really works for most couples, especially ones that work toward LTRs/marriages? I've been married for almost 20 years. My wife is very dedicated to our marriage and I know an attraction is there, but I've never sensed an intense "lust" that I imagine being at work in shorter-term ONS/FWB situations.

[ThaWholigan]

I wonder if the styles of "lust" in those two cases are also different. I think society's "standard" for lust is shifting toward the more visceral, visual-oriented variety that we typically associate with the male point of view. Outside of movies and advertising, is that how it really works for most couples, especially ones that work toward LTRs/marriages? I've been married for almost 20 years. My wife is very dedicated to our marriage and I know an attraction is there, but I've never sensed an intense "lust" that I imagine being at work in shorter-term ONS/FWB situations.

There are some books I can recommend to help you with that .

[somedude81]

They might feel like it but they are not, it's all acquired characteristics. I've known most of my male friends for 14 years now since we were 12 and spent 8 years at school with them in the same class every day. I'm still shocked about the changes some of them went through, especially after graduating high school, the silent awkward ones are suddenly confident and successful, because they took responsibility for how they wanted their life to be like and not being determined by their past failures or the way they used to be perceived.

 

Stop hindering yourself and wasting some of the best years of your life getting absolutely crippled by focusing on getting a girl. Hardly anyone goes out every day thinking I'm gonna get me a girlfriend today. That won't make you any of the things you want to become. Yes charisma can be learned, but not from arguing on LS every day or playing video games (nothing against them as a fun past time but they will do absolutely nothing for your personal growth). You yourself admit your social maturity level is about ten years behind your actual age and yet no advice you get here seems to get through to you. I know you feel miserable about your current situation but something about it must make you feel comfortable and secure at the same time, otherwise you would have pushed yourself past it a long time ago. We all have the choice to keep being afraid and only take the actions we are comfortable with at the cost of staying miserable and lonely, or get out there and make some real change to live the life we want, because it won't come to us just like that.

I don't spend all of my life in my apartment playing video games.

 

It's silly that people keep assuming that I never go out into the world and interact with people.

[KungFuJoe]

My wife loves Ryan Gosling. Can't even flip through channels or browse a magazine with him in it without her making some comment. It's all in good fun, I do the same with Scarlett Johanssen or Candace Swanepoel.

 

But if you think, even for a second, that whatever we "feel" for these celebrity icons is even remotely similar to the ridiculous lust we feel for each other you're out of your mind.

 

Not saying physical attraction is not important. It is...and my wife and I are very very very physically attracted to each other. But there's also so much more than just looks. There's also the 13 years of love and respect and being there for each other and the special bond we share that keep the sparks flying whenever we see each other.

[xxoo]

Outside of movies and advertising, is that how it really works for most couples, especially ones that work toward LTRs/marriages?

 

I can't speak for most couples, but I've been marred 20 years, and we've got lust. He knows how to tease me into a place of arousal that I seriously doubt I could reach with "random hot guy".

 

The brain is the biggest sex organ! You should take Wholigan up on those book recommendations

Edited January 6, 2013 by xxoo

[PJKino]

Your second paragraph describes how we are not equally visual.

 

en.

 

 

 

Wouldnt the fact that women vote presidents in based on looks an buy awful music becuase the band is good looking indicate women are even more visually stimulated then men?

 

I never bought a **** album because the girl was hot:laugh:

[KungFuJoe]

Wouldnt the fact that women vote presidents in based on looks an buy awful music becuase the band is good looking indicate women are even more visually stimulated then men?

 

I never bought a **** album because the girl was hot:laugh:

 

Fact? I'm interested in learning more about these so called facts.

 

Actually...no I'm not.

[somedude81]

Wouldnt the fact that women vote presidents in based on looks an buy awful music becuase the band is good looking indicate women are even more visually stimulated then men?

 

I never bought a **** album because the girl was hot:laugh:

Blush

 

Hey, I was 18 and did you see that video?

[sweetkiwi]

I think people as a whole are too obsessed about looks. Shoot I have based my career on it. Its so bad that those who dont go above and beyond to look fantastic are labeled as lazy or plain. We HAVE to work out. Its healthy. What isn't healthy is all the extreme bodies we find ourselves possessing as a result.

 

Extremely thin. Extremely buff. Plastic boobs, assess, calves.

 

Then the other end; extremely overweight.

 

Yes gosling is hot. He used to be a skinny nerd.

 

I have met soooo many sexy as hell men IRL and as soon as they open their mouths, boner killer.

 

I don't know If that happens to most men.

[SteveC80]

Women are plenty visual believe me..The way women wold treat me because am supposenly good looking by societys standards was crazy..

 

Also the fact that if i wanted to i could have slept with a few friends wives im not in clined to beleive women with average husbands eyes dont wander to better looking men at times

[FitChick]

The reason certain male posters continually belabor the point about male attractiveness is to explain to us (and to themselves) why they don't have girlfriends. It's more about their self beliefs than the beliefs of women since there is evidence all around them and not just here that women go for all sorts of men for all sorts of reasons. They can't see it because "Believing is seeing." Until they change/eliminate those beliefs that have them seeing the world in a skewed manner, they are incapable of believing anything else, regardless of evidence to the contrary. You are all wasting your breath. I feel sorry for them.

 

To those men I say PM me and I can tell you where to get help. Seriously.

[PJKino]

Your second paragraph describes how we are not equally visual.

 

Women are less stimulated by visuals alone than men.

 

Women are more stimulated in other ways than men.

 

Bottom line: If you are a man, you can rest assured. You don't have to be physically hot to set a woman's panties on fire. You have other avenues to creating lust available. Lucky you!

 

Once again i dont know how much of an advantage it is that average men have to unlock some code and hit an amazing nerve juit to get a women on his attractivness level

 

Its still much easier in the dating world for good looking guys so both genders are equally as shallow

[kaylan]

Wow. I cant believe people are still trying to push this lame idea that women are so much less visual than men and that men mostly care about looks.

 

I know many guys, including myself, whove dated girls that not everyone found attractive. And we dated those girls because of how they made us feel.

 

Also, the last two women Ive slept with did so mostly based on their physical attraction to me. Sure they dug my personality, but the way they behaved towards me and the things they said made it clear how much my looks played into things.

[KungFuJoe]

I think people as a whole are too obsessed about looks. Shoot I have based my career on it. Its so bad that those who dont go above and beyond to look fantastic are labeled as lazy or plain. We HAVE to work out. Its healthy. What isn't healthy is all the extreme bodies we find ourselves possessing as a result.

 

Extremely thin. Extremely buff. Plastic boobs, assess, calves.

 

Then the other end; extremely overweight.

 

Yes gosling is hot. He used to be a skinny nerd.

 

I have met soooo many sexy as hell men IRL and as soon as they open their mouths, boner killer.

 

I don't know If that happens to most men.

 

I haven't seen his kid pics but I remember some radio dj commenting on how gosling looked like Macaulay culkin as a kid.

 

Man did they grow up differently though.

 

Although, Macaulay WAS with Mila Kunis (the one woman who could convince my wife to go lesbian) so he might have the upper hand.

[KungFuJoe]

Women are plenty visual believe me..The way women wold treat me because am supposenly good looking by societys standards was crazy..

 

Also the fact that if i wanted to i could have slept with a few friends wives im not in clined to beleive women with average husbands eyes dont wander to better looking men at times

 

Your friends have some classy wives.

[bodhesatva]

Here's an interesting study, relating to the topic:

 

http://www.afboard.com/library/CulturalExpectationsofMuscularityinMen.pdf

 

So you don't have to read scholarly articles, I'll take out a few interesting bits:

 

Our analysis of Playgirl centerfold models augments the growing evidence that the

cultural norm for the ideal male body has become increasingly muscular over the years,

especially during the 1990s. These findings appear congruent with other observations of

trends in the ideal male body image in our society, as reflected in magazines (Andersen

& DiDomenico, 1992; Nemeroff et al., 1994), action toys (Pope et al.,1999), and in other

media. Although the cause of this trend is not certain, the discovery and dissemination of

anabolic steroids may be a factor.

 

Okay, so the point here is that while the female ideals of beauty have been getting skinnier over the last few decades, the male images of beauty and heroism have gotten progressively more muscular and large.

 

I find this interesting that we're sort of moving in opposite directions. Our ideals for men are getting bigger and more macho, our ideals for women are getting more petite and small.

 

In a time when sexism is generally supposed to be slowly going away, this seems like the exact opposite of what should happen. Anyone have thoughts?

[sweetkiwi]

Here's an interesting study, relating to the topic:

 

http://www.afboard.com/library/CulturalExpectationsofMuscularityinMen.pdf

 

So you don't have to read scholarly articles, I'll take out a few interesting bits:

 

 

 

Okay, so the point here is that while the female ideals of beauty have been getting skinnier over the last few decades, the male images of beauty and heroism have gotten progressively more muscular and large.

 

I find this interesting that we're sort of moving in opposite directions. Our ideals for men are getting bigger and more macho, our ideals for women are getting more petite and small.

 

In a time when sexism is generally supposed to be slowly going away, this seems like the exact opposite of what should happen. Anyone have thoughts?

 

Ideals of beauty are always changing. It IS society who fuels the change.

 

Yes. The fashion industry pumps out loads of images of annorexic women.

 

That doesn't mean we need to buy into it. I think the annorexic look is more a threat in our minds then its an actually attractive shape (line?).

 

As for muscular men. Yes. They are strong (looking) and usually tan. I like muscular men. With a nice thick trunk. And thin dudes. And chubby dudes.

 

For me what the television tells me is hot is NOT what I find attractive IRL. Women are visual creatures. But honestly I have so many options to choose from I will not rule out a nice guy because he has a belly. In fact maybe that becomes my favorite part of him.

 

I have gained weight before and actually had MORE men hitting on me. My boyfriend at the time couldn't keep his hands off me. He loved squishing me and holding me.

 

Its about people. Not sexes. Preferences. Some will judge only on looks one moment and only on character the next. You just cant predict that stuff.