Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

[BetheButterfly]

I've never been a fan of Megan Fox. Her face looks so "fake". Like she's had work done. She was on an episode of Two And A Half Man (first season) and yeah, her body is ridiculous...but she just looks...plastic. I'm more into "natural" beauty, if that makes any sense.

 

I don't know if she's had any work done, but I think Megan Fox is absolutely beautiful, as well as thousands of other women, including your lovely wife.

 

I don't think #s do anyone any justice..

What makes my wife special is a sum of her parts. It's like this:

 

Her looks attracted me initially.

Her personality attracts me permanently.

 

It's interesting how some people just concentrate on looks yet don't understand how important personality is.

 

If she lost her looks, either naturally, or some freak accident, I would love her the same and would be by her side no matter what. Because I know what kind of person she is and because I love her and wouldn't want to spend my days and nights with anyone else.

 

so beautiful!!! Your wife is blessed and I'm very happy for you both!!!

[ThaWholigan]

Never used a number rating system for women's physical attractiveness or otherwise. Found the practice to be somewhat ugly.

[serial muse]

I still see no problem with the attractiveness scale it seems irrational to get mad at a scale that uses numbers instead of just simply gorgeous,pretty, average, ugly, and hideous.

 

I think it's perfectly obvious that if you rate someone "gorgeous" or "pretty" you're saying a nice thing that, as xxoo notes, can also encompass a host of nice things. It leaves the door open in a good way.

 

And it's equally obvious that calling them average, ugly or hideous is NOT a compliment. Nobody's going to make the mistake of thinking that it is.

 

So those things are basically clearly positive/clearly negative.

 

If you rate someone on a stupid number scale you're basically telling them "you're this, but no better than this". Perhaps you think you're being honest, or paying a backhanded compliment of sorts, but what you're really doing is equivocating. Whether that's because you're negging, because you don't know whether you really believe that person is attractive, or what, there is simply no interpretation of that that is truly positive. It is RIFE with ambiguity and equivocating and insecurity and blah blah blah. It's just pointless unless you want to create drama. In fact, that's probably what it's for.

 

Seriously. Why for the love of little green apples any thinking person would think telling someone you actually like to his/her face that they are a number, any number, is a smart thing to do is completely beyond me. This is not rocket science. Just use your heads.

[xxoo]

Never used a number rating system for women's physical attractiveness or otherwise. Found the practice to be somewhat ugly.

 

I agree.

 

When a 6 uses a number scale, it bumps him down to a 4.

 

[KungFuJoe]

I don't know if she's had any work done, but I think Megan Fox is absolutely beautiful, as well as thousands of other women, including your lovely wife.

 

I don't think #s do anyone any justice..

 

 

It's interesting how some people just concentrate on looks yet don't understand how important personality is.

 

 

 

so beautiful!!! Your wife is blessed and I'm very happy for you both!!!

 

I just looked up some pics of Megan Fox. Man she looks SO MUCH better with just a little make up. She does something to her eyes that is a big turn off for me. I dunno, but it gives her these "cat eyes" kinda look.

 

I still think she's had some work done. She looks considerably different than she did when she was younger. She was beautiful then...now...definitely different.

 

I don't think people necessary JUST focus on looks, but let's be honest...it's what attracts you initially. But, yeah, it's the personality and who he/she is that keeps you hooked. And you know how you just meet someone and you feel like you INSTANTLY know what kind of person they are...just from little actions or words?

 

I'll tell you one thing she did back in high school that I still remember to this day, 20 years later. It will probably sound silly now but there was one time I was just walking towards the lockers and she snuck up behind me, put her hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who!". Oh, I knew EXACTLY who it was and I just remember time slowing down in those few moments. I just remember thinking, "oh my god she touched me...she touched my face!" LOL...anyways. I didn't even know her name (nor did she know mine since we only spoke once or twice prior in very short, random encounters) and I turned around to see her and she just said, "Gotta run!" and took off. Man...I was on cloud nine the rest of the day.

 

Ok...enough of the sappy stories.

 

But, yes...we are both blessed to have each other.

[123321]

Never used a number rating system for women's physical attractiveness or otherwise. Found the practice to be somewhat ugly.

 

Also, useless.

[xxoo]

Also, useless.

 

I suspect is it useful for promoting dissatisfaction.

[KungFuJoe]

I don't think there's anything essentially WRONG with the number system...as long as you know that a 7 or a 4 or a 10 to you might be COMPLETELY different to some else.

 

I always like to preface it with, "To ME, this person is a #".

[fortyninethousand322]

I don't think there's anything essentially WRONG with the number system...as long as you know that a 7 or a 4 or a 10 to you might be COMPLETELY different to some else.

 

I always like to preface it with, "To ME, this person is a #".

 

It's also useful to gauge whether someone has a "champagne taste on a wine budget" so to speak. As much as we hate to admit it, everyone has at least a little bit of shallowness to them. If you're the Elephant Man and you're trying to date Jessica Alba, you might not be as successful as you'd like.

[xxoo]

I don't think there's anything essentially WRONG with the number system...as long as you know that a 7 or a 4 or a 10 to you might be COMPLETELY different to some else.

 

I always like to preface it with, "To ME, this person is a #".

 

Did you really intend to say "To ME, this person is a number." ??????

 

Oops! Freudian slip

[KungFuJoe]

Well...I dunno...hard to explain.

 

I'm just simply saying that....what's the difference between saying:

 

"That woman is freakin hot!"

"That woman is a 10!"

 

?

[xxoo]

Well...I dunno...hard to explain.

 

I'm just simply saying that....what's the difference between saying:

 

"That woman is freakin hot!"

"That woman is a 10!"

 

?

 

But you typed the sentence, "this person is a number"

 

Not a hot woman, not a great person.....a number. Number, used as a noun.

 

We don't want to be defined as numbers. Descriptive words like pretty, hot, or gorgeous are fine! But a number is a set value--a "place", so to speak, relative to other women, based completely on appearance. Not good.

[KungFuJoe]

But you typed the sentence, "this person is a number"

 

Not a hot woman, not a great person.....a number. Number, used as a noun.

 

We don't want to be defined as numbers. Descriptive words like pretty, hot, or gorgeous are fine! But a number is a set value--a "place", so to speak, relative to other women, based completely on appearance. Not good.

 

Well...I guess perhaps this is moot because I can't recall ever saying a woman is any number. Though I have called my wife a 10 at times, but I doubt that would be taken negatively in any fashion. I don't think I've ever even heard someone use a number in real life. Actually, I think I've really only heard it used on here.

[serial muse]

It's also useful to gauge whether someone has a "champagne taste on a wine budget" so to speak. As much as we hate to admit it, everyone has at least a little bit of shallowness to them. If you're the Elephant Man and you're trying to date Jessica Alba, you might not be as successful as you'd like.

 

So...we're rating people's shallowness based on how they rate others?

 

Huh. Who watches the watchmen?

[fortyninethousand322]

So...we're rating people's shallowness based on how they rate others?

 

Huh. Who watches the watchmen?

 

I was thinking a third party would judge you and the person you're interested in/the type of person you're interested in. The idea being that neutral third parties are probably more objective than you are.

 

If most people are rating you a 5 and your prospective date an 8, then you should probably temper your hopes a little bit. Maybe you'll dazzle them with your great personality but probably not.

[Necris]

I think it's perfectly obvious that if you rate someone "gorgeous" or "pretty" you're saying a nice thing that, as xxoo notes, can also encompass a host of nice things. It leaves the door open in a good way.

 

And it's equally obvious that calling them average, ugly or hideous is NOT a compliment. Nobody's going to make the mistake of thinking that it is.

 

So those things are basically clearly positive/clearly negative.

 

If you rate someone on a stupid number scale you're basically telling them "you're this, but no better than this". Perhaps you think you're being honest, or paying a backhanded compliment of sorts, but what you're really doing is equivocating. Whether that's because you're negging, because you don't know whether you really believe that person is attractive, or what, there is simply no interpretation of that that is truly positive. It is RIFE with ambiguity and equivocating and insecurity and blah blah blah. It's just pointless unless you want to create drama. In fact, that's probably what it's for.

 

Seriously. Why for the love of little green apples any thinking person would think telling someone you actually like to his/her face that they are a number, any number, is a smart thing to do is completely beyond me. This is not rocket science. Just use your heads.

 

It still doesn't seem like anything is wrong with the number scale people do scale other's attractiveness in their own mind. What you are saying is common sense you don't go telling people they aren't attractive because that would be rude, even if you think they are. Regardless if someone called a person a 5 or just average/plain they won't usually take that as a compliment since people expect to be called beautiful. Also if someone was called a 10 or just simply gorgeous both would be considered compliments.

[serial muse]

I was thinking a third party would judge you and the person you're interested in/the type of person you're interested in. The idea being that neutral third parties are probably more objective than you are.

 

If most people are rating you a 5 and your prospective date an 8, then you should probably temper your hopes a little bit. Maybe you'll dazzle them with your great personality but probably not.

 

The French have a great word for numbers - "chiffres". I think the whooshing sound conveys all the self-importance of these little, arbitrary digits, and at the same time their ultimate worthlessness and interchangeability.

 

I maintain that I cannot see the utility of rating people you are interested in, like, or have any positive feelings toward. It's a way of trying to reduce a person to the lowest common denominator. A chiffre.

 

So, blech, but carry on if it makes you happy I guess.

[serial muse]

It still doesn't seem like anything is wrong with the number scale people do scale other's attractiveness in their own mind. What you are saying is common sense you don't go telling people they aren't attractive because that would be rude, even if you think they are. Regardless if someone called a person a 5 or just average/plain they won't usually take that as a compliment since people expect to be called beautiful. Also if someone was called a 10 or just simply gorgeous both would be considered compliments.

 

Um, which was my point. Don't call someone a five, or a seven for that matter. (Ideally, don't call them a ten either). If you recall, I was specifically responding to somedude's suggestion that someday calling someone a "seven" will be considered a compliment. In other words, to say it out loud would be considered a positive thing.

 

Not bloody likely.

Edited February 1, 2013 by serial muse

[Necris]

Um, which was my point. Don't call someone a five, or a seven for that matter. (Ideally, don't call them a ten either). If you recall, I was specifically responding to somedude's suggestion that someday calling someone a "seven" will be considered a compliment. In other words, to say it out loud would be considered a positive thing.

 

Not bloody likely.

 

Well it depends on the person, I'm a guy if someone called me a 7 I won't feel insulted, I'd be okay with their assessment. If someone called me a 10 or the most handsome man in the world then I probably won't take that as a compliment and assume they are just playing with me or possibly mocking me. If someone said I'm hideous or a 1,2, or 3 I'll take that as a lame attempt to insult me.

 

Anyway the attractiveness scale is just what everybody uses in their own minds, some people are deemed more attractive than others, and its all subjective but their are objective reasons for the subjective scale.

 

Its best to tell people they are good-looking and not go overboard on the compliments, and if they aren't good looking its best not to say anything about their appearance unless you think it might help them to improve by saying something.

Edited February 1, 2013 by Necris

[BetheButterfly]

I just looked up some pics of Megan Fox. Man she looks SO MUCH better with just a little make up. She does something to her eyes that is a big turn off for me. I dunno, but it gives her these "cat eyes" kinda look.

 

I still think she's had some work done. She looks considerably different than she did when she was younger. She was beautiful then...now...definitely different.

 

Again, I think she's beautiful. But I think thousands of women are beautiful so... even those with plastic surgery and makeup, though I do think natural beauty is prettier ... I love natural!

 

I don't think people necessary JUST focus on looks, but let's be honest...it's what attracts you initially. But, yeah, it's the personality and who he/she is that keeps you hooked. And you know how you just meet someone and you feel like you INSTANTLY know what kind of person they are...just from little actions or words?

 

Good points, yeah... that's how I felt with my husband, so I know exactly what you mean and I have to admit I think my husband is drop-dead handsome!!! :love:

 

I'll tell you one thing she did back in high school that I still remember to this day, 20 years later. It will probably sound silly now but there was one time I was just walking towards the lockers and she snuck up behind me, put her hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who!". Oh, I knew EXACTLY who it was and I just remember time slowing down in those few moments. I just remember thinking, "oh my god she touched me...she touched my face!" LOL...anyways. I didn't even know her name (nor did she know mine since we only spoke once or twice prior in very short, random encounters) and I turned around to see her and she just said, "Gotta run!" and took off. Man...I was on cloud nine the rest of the day.

 

Beautiful:love:

 

Ok...enough of the sappy stories.

 

I think you should write a blog of "sappy" stories about you and your wife!!! I think they're awesome!!!

 

But, yes...we are both blessed to have each other.

 

I love it when people love each other.

[KungFuJoe]

I think you should write a blog of "sappy" stories about you and your wife!!! I think they're awesome!!!

 

I've thought about this...wife and I always talk about how lucky we were to end up with each other, and pretty much against the odds. If they made a book or movie about us, it would play like one of those sappy, tear inducing, love stories about two people who love each other, but keep meeting at the wrong time, who eventually, after a lot of years, hurt and heartache, finally come together at the right time and fulfill their destiny.

[123321]

Um, which was my point. Don't call someone a five, or a seven for that matter. (Ideally, don't call them a ten either).

 

There are so many issues with those sort of scales it's hard to even think about, but for starters it's highly subjective and individual, and it's highly context sensitive.

 

A movie starlet 7 is a real life 11, to speak in shorthand.

 

A 6 can become a 10 if you give her time to win you over with charm, or drink enough

[KungFuJoe]

1) I didn't know what my screenname meant when i made the account, just found it cool for a name (English as second language).

 

2) The avi is not me, i have said it few times here .

 

3) i don't play video games, my threads say nothing about how i behave in public do you think i walk around hating on women?. Funny how think you know it all when you have nothing to prove your point.

 

Necromancer,

 

EVERYONE on this site thinks you're a bit "off". You're a strange guy, that's for sure. In fact, I think you TRY to come off as a creep, otherwise why would you put that creepy looking dude as your avatar? You might think it's funny, but it's actually VERY telling.

[fortyninethousand322]

Conundrum: which looks better: the "balding" look, or the "bald" look?

[KungFuJoe]

Conundrum: which looks better: the "balding" look, or the "bald" look?

 

Really depends on head/face, but in general, bald.