Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

[candie13]

Then you have lost attraction....

So yes, people date who they are ATTRACTED to.

 

if a guy's hobby is to chase other women, and i'm dating him...what will he do in his spare time?

 

I agree, less attraction, less fun, but less trouble too. I've crushed and burnt a few times, felt great, fantastic ride, but personally, I say pass, thank you very much.

 

Attraction should go a lot deeper than just skin deep.

[SJC2008]

All "women try to date out out of their league" arguments aside. It is a sociological FACT that people, more often than not, date within the same race, social standing (career, education), religion and LOOKS!

[singlelife]

Yes. That.

 

I am a well-educated professional, though I don't make a ton of money. I would be unlikely to date anyone who is not a well-educated professional, because education, intelligence, and drive are things that are important to me, not because I think I'm "better" than, say, my friend who works at Target.

 

Good point. I have a female friend who thinks she is too good for her boyfriend because he's 37, lives at home, doesn't work, and has no desire to do anything constructive. She wants an alpha male who is a go getter. Yet she is 40 has her two kids living with her and 3 grandkids, and her parents pay the rent and supply the two cars her household uses. She can't get a job because of her history of forging checks. So she is stuck herself. I told her she may not be in love with her man, but she is compatible according to how they both live their life. she still doesn't see it.

[charlietheginger]

You use "many" far too freely.

 

 

 

I believe it is the minority that does that.

 

Nope "many" do. Thats why often times women ask " what do you

Do for work" with in the first 10minutes of meeting.

 

If a women is doing good for herself and goes on a date

Ask the man and he replies " i flip burgers or i bag groceries"

Chances are the date does not goto well.

 

Lets be honest what women that owns a house car has a savings

Account wants to shack up with a guy bringing home $350

A week.....

 

the women looks at future events like having kids

Retiring or what not.

 

Like i said young chicks date for attraction. "many"

Older women date for financial security

[charlietheginger]

Why can't you date for both? Plenty of men have both

 

becuase rich hot men date well off hot women.

 

Ugly rich men date hot women with no money.

Why else would a hot women date a ugly rich guy

Money is the reason.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Nope "many" do. Thats why often times women ask " what do you

Do for work" with in the first 10minutes of meeting.

 

If a women is doing good for herself and goes on a date

Ask the man and he replies " i flip burgers or i bag groceries"

Chances are the date does not goto well.

 

Lets be honest what women that owns a house car has a savings

Account wants to shack up with a guy bringing home $350

A week.....

 

the women looks at future events like having kids

Retiring or what not.

 

Like i said young chicks date for attraction. "many"

Older women date for financial security

 

Or maybe asking what one does for work is a good conversation starter...

 

 

Financial security is important, in any relationship, but financial security does not always equal being rich.

[MrCastle]

Attraction should go a lot deeper than just skin deep.

 

Well I never said anything about physical appearance being the be all, end all. In fact quite the opposite. I've seen many head scratching couples that have great chemistry.

 

I always use myself as reference. When women imagine their dream man (physically), pretty sure they're not thinking of a 5'7 man who is under 150 lbs. But yet, I've been successful in getting all kinds of women. Including those who either can, or have modeled. I've beaten the jock, the preppy rich kid, the pretty boy, mr. popular, the juice head. Those women can't help but dig something about me. Outside of my face (because it certainly isn't my body) it's gotta be my personality. They couldn't help but like me.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Well I never said anything about physical appearance being the be all, end all. In fact quite the opposite. I've seen many head scratching couples that have great chemistry.

 

I always use myself as reference. When women imagine their dream man (physically), pretty sure they're not thinking of a 5'7 man who is under 150 lbs. But yet, I've been successful in getting all kinds of women. Including those who either can, or have modeled. I've beaten the jock, the preppy rich kid, the pretty boy, mr. popular, the juice head. Those women can't help but dig something about me. Outside of my face (because it certainly isn't my body) it's gotta be my personality. They couldn't help but like me.

 

 

 

Chemistry is a must, and it is true, the most odd of couples can have the best chemistry. Personality will always be first for me over anything.

[charlietheginger]

I do okay for myself now but I should creep up towards the upper class as I get older and I won't have any problem dating a regular gal who makes a regular living

 

 

 

One of my best friends who is "hot" and "rich" married a hairdresser with average money

 

Yes as you get older you reach upper class and can date

Women below your financial class. They want your money

[chex]

Yes as you get older you reach upper class and can date

Women below your financial class. They want your money

 

Too true to be good.

[pbjbear]

I cant believe this thread is so long.

 

 

This is a no brainer.

 

 

Men place more emphasis on looks than women do period.

 

There is a ton of scientific research to back me up. The study off the top of my head that I think of was one that randomly surveyed 10,000 men around the country and women too. They found that men place looks in the top 3 traits on who they decide to marry....women the top 10. This is an average so there are always exceptions but YES on average men place more value on looks than personality. I am not saying men dont look at personality, but it IS NOT as important to them for the average man

[TheGuard13]

Men place more emphasis on looks than women do period.

 

In surveys.

[pbjbear]

In surveys.

 

 

Research doesnt lie, especially one with a HUGE randomly selected sample that goes through scientific standards...those research studies are seen as a gold standard due to their accuracy.

 

Sorry TheGuard, though men may not be always able to get their hottest girl due to their lack of options and have to settle, men do place more emphasis on looks overall. I would say most men today (more than 80%) are not completely satisfied with their S.O's looks. Men are always out for the hottest chick, very few can land her though.

 

There are always individual differences though...but most men focus on looks more than most women.

[somedude81]

Research doesnt lie,

No, but people do.

[pbjbear]

There is no way a huge number of men lie about how much they enjoy a girl's looks. You are in denial or must be one of the exceptions

 

Sorry if I offended the men by what I said, women can be bitches too so not saying we are any better, but men do place more emphasis on looks.

 

I just asked a few of my co workers about this and they laughed and said men are in denial about how shallow they are...all of my male co workers agree with me

[somedude81]

There is no way a huge number of men lie about how much they enjoy a girl's looks. You are in denial or must be one of the exceptions

You're right.

 

It's not the men who are lying.

[pbjbear]

You're right.

 

It's not the men who are lying.

 

Its a proven scientific fact that men are more visual than women.

 

There are some women that are visual, but the average man is MORE visual than the average woman.

 

I love it when people blindly ignore statements they simply cannot handle the truth of.

 

somedude81, maybe youre an exception and if you are I need to meet someone like you, but you are not the norm...

[KungFuJoe]

I agree that men are more concerned with looks than women are, who are more concerned with money and status.

 

There's a reason why female models get with older, richer, not so good looking guys.

 

But it doesn't make it right or wrong. It's just how it is.

 

Looks fade...but money can fade just as quickly.

[TheGuard13]

You can use numbers to prove anything that's even remotely true. There sure are a lot of generalizations around here.

 

I think the PERCEPTION that men care more about looks than women do is true. I don't think society and the actual actions and choices of people in general really reflect that so much.

 

I wouldn't really use female models as an example of how most women feel and operate with considering the context. For one thing, female models (and other "gold diggers" and the like) aren't really "most women". Female models, in particular, marry older men because they have the resources and the desire to attract the older men" who want to spend their money on said female models, who have particular values (that not all women have)

 

I think that while not everyone needs to be rich, most people would like to have financial security on some level, and I don't know too many people who wouldn't like to have more than enough of various things...but people have different values. Some things are more important to some people than other things are.

[KungFuJoe]

Well...I subscribe to "caveman" theory.

 

Men want fertility (beauty), women want protection (strength). This was how it was for the VAST majority of human life on Earth.

 

Civilization and society have negated a lot of those needs, but we've only been civilized for a small fraction of the time we've been here. Evolution just hasn't caught up yet.

[pbjbear]

Decide to marry, just because women place your bank account over your looks when it comes to deciding whom they want to marry doesn't change the fact that when it comes to looking for a good lay both genders almost exclusively go for looks.

 

You obviously havent read my posts because I most certainly dont, hence why I wont settle for a man so vastly obsessed with looks

[SJC2008]

I think men and women are more similar than people think or want to beleive. They're just as visual as men are but do to societal pressures in western cultures, they feel they can't say that so they say they want personality. They like sex as much as men do to but they can't say it or we'll think they're sluts. As long as a woman is attracted to you and you're not a social tard you're in.

[Phoe]

My first boyfriend ever was about a 4 on a scale of 1-10. REALLY not attractive. We started off as friends and his personality won me over.

 

Next boyfriend was about on par with me, at 7.

 

Next 2 guys I dated were 5/6.

 

Personality ALWAYS wins for me

[sweetkiwi]

Attraction is many things. Not only very handsome men get laid. Trust me. I've fhucked some "ugly" guys because I liked them.

 

Pretty much I notice tall guys. And I am a size queen so I need that big dick. Hardly any gorgeous guys have big dicks. Why? Dunno. I'll take the ugly hung guy anyday.

[ChessPieceFace]

OP, girls don't like you because you're negative.