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Consolidated 'looks' discussion and society's standards of beauty for men vs women

JuneJulySeptember

By JuneJulySeptember,
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ltjg45

ltjg45

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"I'm 25 years old, and I've been overweight my whole life. I was a chubby kid, but I wasn't big like I am now. (And, no, I won't disclose my weight.) I just really liked food, and I didn't think about consequences. Also, I didn't care that much about the way I looked—but other people did. In middle school, one guy imitated the way my thighs rubbed together when I walked. While it upset me, I realized that it was more his problem than mine."

 

That part bothers me a lot and is the reason why I said she is VERY lucky to have him.

 

She didn't care about how much food she ate so she became fat by choice alone.

 

Not to mention she said she didn't care about how she looks towards others and yet she was surprised by the negative comments? Seriously?

 

It would be one thing if she was born like this as some people is and I can understand that. However, it's hard for me to give her any kind of pity when she chose this path.

 

That guy sounds like an easy guy to please if she doesn't care much for her appearance.

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Anela

Anela

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Hah, I saw that article too.

 

I had a couple of thoughts about it.

 

1. The guy is a chubby chaser. " I knew he was into big girls—his exes were chubby. Some think it's weird, but it's like having a thing for blondes: It's just a preference."

 

2. She's had several exes before. And from what I'm guessing, they weren't big like her. I wonder if she has, or would date an obese man.

 

This goes into my main belief that no matter how bad a woman looks, she will always be able to find men.

 

That point is even more reinforced by one of my neighbors. The wife weighs at least 100 pounds more than the guy does. Maybe the dude just really likes fat women?

 

I posted the link on FB. Nobody commented, but one person shared, and was disgusted by the fact that she apparently needs a man to feel good about herself (I didn't see that), and that he should be helping her to lose weight, instead of loving her the way she is. Called him a chubby-chaser like it's a bad thing, and so on. It was women talking this way, and I'm feeling disgusted right now.

 

She most likely wrote the article because they constantly have to defend their relationship, and people keep putting her down because she's overweight. How anyone can tell her that she's lucky he's with her, because she's fat, or question why he's with her in front of her? It's beyond me, extremely rude, and posting this article on the internet deals with it just as easily as telling them to piss off in person - although they're probably more polite about it.

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somedude81

somedude81

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IMO being only attracted to obese people is a fetish. And if you'd read that article, you'd see the part where she brought up that all his exes were fat. A guy like him doesn't have to settle for fat girls, he chooses them.

 

She most likely wrote the article because they constantly have to defend their relationship, and people keep putting her down because she's overweight.

Yeah, I think that's exactly why she wrote that article. Because she's gotten so many negative comments about her relationship.

 

Just about every person who sees them together, will ask themselves "why is he with her.?" Though some will be more rude about it than others.

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StanMusial

StanMusial

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Girls are just as harsh as guys. Especially single girls. I have heard girls say "Why can she get that guy and I can't get anyone?" when they see a big girl with an attractive guy.

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Anela

Anela

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IMO being only attracted to obese people is a fetish. And if you'd read that article, you'd see the part where she brought up that all his exes were fat. A guy like him doesn't have to settle for fat girls, he chooses them.

 

He chooses them, because that's what he's attracted to. So you have a skinny, young, busty girl fetish.

 

Yeah, I think that's exactly why she wrote that article. Because she's gotten so many negative comments about her relationship.

 

Just about every person who sees them together, will ask themselves "why is he with her.?" Though some will be more rude about it than others.

 

And it's a problem that they're asking that in the first place.

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StanMusial

StanMusial

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Who knows why they are together? If the story is even true. Sometimes you will see mismatched couples but you never know what circumstances brought them together.

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Pompeii

Pompeii

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True, but most women will ultimately end up with the average men who make them happy, not the douchebag "fit" guys.

 

That's funny. First of all you correlate being "fit" with being a "douchebag". Second of all, you make it seem as if it's a choice. Some of these women may say they "like" or even "love" the average men in their lives (I'm guessing average is a catchall for underdeveloped physique, standard aesthetics, standard job, standard wage, standard life, standard issue males) but they'll always harbor a bone for those type of guys you mentioned. They won't truly be attracted to the average guys like they will for the "douchebag" "fit" guys.

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Pompeii

Pompeii

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Not for me. I've always found it easier to be muscular, but hard as hell to be "skinny". Not that it's a big deal to me since I actually like having muscles, but still...

 

You must have a endo-mesomorphic body type. True mesomorphs despite being shown as a large majority of action heroes are incredibly rare in real life and when one is encountered, he tends to be seen as a high-status male by men and a stud by women.

 

You're one of those guys who built muscle easily. You're probably also around 6' right?

 

There are many, many men who will never get big. I'm one of them, I just don't have the genes to really build muscle.

 

Bullspit. You lift heavy, eat a lot and you will see gains. Not before you shed fat first, of course. It can actually be very difficult for men above a certain height to gain muscle because they tend to be very lanky and experience more stress on their joints from lifting weights.

 

Short guys will struggle unless their game is REALLY tight.

 

If the guy is shorter than the girl, forget about it. Game over.

 

 

My best friend in the world is 5'8" and has some of the tightest game I've ever seen. He pulls taller chicks all. the. time. As I said, ridiculously tight game.

Edited by Pompeii
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Els

Els

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And it's a problem that they're asking that in the first place.

 

Yeah, people should just stop sticking their noses into others' Rs, fullstop. It's plain rude to say he doesn't deserve her cause he's poor or short, plain rude to say she doesn't deserve him cause she's fat or plain. Sheesh, people are so much more than that. Everyone is.

 

I admit I have had such thoughts when I look at some couples (not looks, but sometimes how he treats her, etc), but I do generally try to tell myself that I don't know the whole story about their interactions. We only get a screenshot of strangers' lives - they go much deeper than that.

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Suave

Suave

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It really sucks having a sibling that gets all the attention, especially when there's not much you can do to measure up. It's all about the cards you were dealt. But there always seems to be one in every family that hits the genetic jackpot for some reason.

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somedude81

somedude81

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He chooses them, because that's what he's attracted to. So you have a skinny, young, busty girl fetish.

The difference is that my "fetish" is the norm for men.

 

And it's a problem that they're asking that in the first place.

That's just how people are.

 

There is no point in complaining about stuff like that.

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Els

Els

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That's just how people are.

 

There is no point in complaining about stuff like that.

 

C'mon. Wouldn't you find it incredibly rude if people started talking about you and your girl like that? Especially within earshot or directly to one of you?

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somedude81

somedude81

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C'mon. Wouldn't you find it incredibly rude if people started talking about you and your girl like that? Especially within earshot or directly to one of you?

I already addressed something similar a few posts up ;)

Just about every person who sees them together, will ask themselves "why is he with her.?" Though some will be more rude about it than others.

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irc333

irc333

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It's kind of funny....a few times I decided to email some chubby women on dating sites to see if they would respond, just to see if I even would GET a response. They had cute faces, but rather portly bodies. I dunno, something about a cute face I like and their smile got my attention.

 

Low and behold, the response rate (which was nil) was just as equal....thus might as well pursue the more attractive if you keep getting turned down by lesser attractive women.

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ltjg45

ltjg45

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C'mon. Wouldn't you find it incredibly rude if people started talking about you and your girl like that? Especially within earshot or directly to one of you?

 

Actually, I wouldn't find it rude because I would have expected that anyway.

 

Maybe in a kinder country but I hasn't forgotten I was born and lived in the U.S.

 

It basically comes with the territory.

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Pompeii

Pompeii

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maybe that's why I should get more buff, to beat up or intimidate any taken girl i'm attracted to, intimidate her boyfriend, scare him

 

That won't happen. I'm not intimidated by guys who are bigger than me, if anything I laugh at them because I know I am more elite.

 

You also make working out seem like its an easy thing to do. If you're trying to become aesthetic so that you can beat other men up, you will lose motivate and fail within the first month.

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Mme. Chaucer

Mme. Chaucer

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I'm not intimidated by guys who are bigger than me, if anything I laugh at them because I know I am more elite.

 

No matter how elite you are, the buff guy can still punch you in the nose and knock you over.

 

If you're trying to become aesthetic so that you can beat other men up, you will lose motivate and fail within the first month.

 

If you can't stop misusing the word "aesthetic" I'm going to have to question your supreme eliteness.

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man_in_the_box

man_in_the_box

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maybe that's why I should get more buff, to beat up or intimidate any taken girl i'm attracted to, intimidate her boyfriend, scare him

 

What the ****...?!?!

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Franko Bleenyo

Franko Bleenyo

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It's kind of funny....a few times I decided to email some chubby women on dating sites to see if they would respond, just to see if I even would GET a response. They had cute faces, but rather portly bodies. I dunno, something about a cute face I like and their smile got my attention.

 

Low and behold, the response rate (which was nil) was just as equal....thus might as well pursue the more attractive if you keep getting turned down by lesser attractive women.

 

I get rejected by fat and chubby girls too

 

I one made a fake profile of a really good looking guy and got heaps of msgs from chubby and fat chicks.

 

Its unfair, fat chicks should want to date fat men, not athletic hunks. I doubt you will see a fat guy msg a really stunning women

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