surfergirl Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 What do you guys think about the friends with benefits thing? I haven't been seeing anyone for about 4 months and I'm feeling a little lonely if you know what I mean? Should I call a friend to "help me" through this or tough it out? I don't want to be trashy about it but I could use some love'n. Please help me or just talk dirty to me - lol .....thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Originally posted by surfergirl What do you guys think about the friends with benefits thing? I haven't been seeing anyone for about 4 months and I'm feeling a little lonely if you know what I mean? If you are lonely, and have not been seeing anyone for a while, why not start to see people again? That should, I think, prevent loneliness, no? Should I call a friend to "help me" through this or tough it out? I don't want to be trashy about it but I could use some love'n. Please help me or just talk dirty to me - lol .....thanks. Well, if you can accept that your friendship will probably change completely, and things may never be able to go back to how they once were, sure. Go for it. Most likely, either you or that friend will develop feelings and the situation will become fairly difficult. The odd thing is, that having a friend with benefits is a relationship. If you try this arrangement, you will see that it quickly starts to feel like you are in a relationship, because you actually are. So, why not just go looking to meet someone new to pursue a relationship with? Link to post Share on other sites
breezy Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Go for it if you can do it without any emotional attachment!!! I think its harder for us women to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I agree with Faux, friends w/ benefits is a sort of relationship, are you looking for a purely sexual relationship or are you substituting the sexual "fulfillment" for the lack of an emotional one? These are things to consider...if you are lonely in the sense of having companionship and someone to share intimate (not just sexual) times with then you should look to begin dating again but if you are merely missing the physical purely sexual encounters then yes maybe you should find someone for that but you should make sure 1) it's someone NOT involved with another person (ie. married or w/ a GF) 2) they are ok with it being purely sexual (ie. not getting attached emotionally) You should think hard about what it is you're truly seeking then make the choice from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author surfergirl Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 Faux you have very good points. It's just that the people I've been meeting (after talking with them) are not worth wasting a date on. It's hard to describe....the last guy I went out with was an MD and all he wanted to do was brag brag brag about his money and people he knows. blah blah blah Or.....they only want to be "seen" with me? ( my job is with some powerful people in my city) Where are the normal guys who just want a date with the "girl next door"? I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect just a nice guy. You're right I don't want to do the "benefits" thing!!!! That would turn crazy. Guess I'm just stuck ty for the advice Link to post Share on other sites
Author surfergirl Posted August 18, 2004 Author Share Posted August 18, 2004 It's purely physical - the arms around me and the tenderness of a man. That's what I miss the most. My friends are keeping me company but I need the physical stuff. This dry spell stuff "sucks". Whoever said being single is easy? Link to post Share on other sites
Sparkster Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 Something wrong with using your hands or even a toy? Link to post Share on other sites
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