mansa Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Hello everyone! I need a help, am stuck liking this beautiful coworker. She is a nurse and am CNA in the same facility but different shifts. She works evenings and i work night shift but she always stays 2hrs late everytime. She is so nice to me and she always offers me food or coffee. When we are talking she always touches her hair and she likes been childish to me, she picks on me with jokes. We work in the same place for just two months. I liked her and i thought she like me too so i ask her out for new year eve and she didn't say yes or no. I didn't push for the answer. The next day I came to work and saw her she asked how am I in a sweet voice then I responded but I didn't talk to her about anything. A day before new year eve I came to work and asked her if she would go out with me for the eve but she said she had plans, its new year you should have plans she said to me. I said yes i do,and don't want to talk more because someone was coming so we went in a different direction. From then i don't ask her anymore, I try to avoid her because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable at work. What should I do? I still like her and i want her to be my future wife. Please help me! Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 I don't really understand your story. Sadly because of all these sexual harasment laws the government has instituted your employer is likely not to look kindly on what ever gets deemed harassment by a woman. That could mean things as simple as "you look nice today" so yes asking her out would fall into that category of things to be wary of. The best advice would be aggressively pursue her and get a clear cut answer she may be on the fence... problem is sexual harassment. There you go sir, there are your balancing interests. If you do get called into some HR/manager meeting or what ever over this just deny ever having asked her out. In fact say she flirts with you and makes you uncomfortable and you'd appreciate it if she wouldn't communicate with you. Than never talk to her again. So yes pursue her hard and get an answer. If for some lame reason she or some one else reports you for sexual harassment.... deny deny deny and turn it on her. also don't let any one else see you hitting on her so it should only be her reporting you... I mean than again she could tell some feminist co worker about being hit on and that co worker report you but at least she wouldn't have witnessed it with out being a liar. Good luck. If it were me I'd make things clear. Ask her out again. Make it something fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mansa Posted January 6, 2013 Author Share Posted January 6, 2013 Well we still talk but i don't know if i keep pushing she may I think am going too strong. I want my next step be asking her of friendship so that we can spend time together. I thought she may be shy to go out with me alone. She once asked me if could Hangout with her and other coworkers though. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 sure do what you think is best. You know the situation best. Just realize you can't friend your way into a romantic relationship. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blackberries Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 I liked her and i thought she like me too so i ask her out for new year eve and she didn't say yes or no. I didn't push for the answer. If she was interested, she would have said yes. A day before new year eve I came to work and asked her if she would go out with me for the eve but she said she had plans, She is not interested! I still like her and i want her to be my future wife. Wait... what? You barely even know this girl and you want to MARRY her?!?! I don't really understand your story. Sadly because of all these sexual harasment laws the government has instituted your employer is likely not to look kindly on what ever gets deemed harassment by a woman. And why would they? Women have the right to come to work without being harassed! The best advice would be aggressively pursue her and get a clear cut answer she may be on the fence... problem is sexual harassment. There you go sir, there are your balancing interests. If you do get called into some HR/manager meeting or what ever over this just deny ever having asked her out. In fact say she flirts with you and makes you uncomfortable and you'd appreciate it if she wouldn't communicate with you. Than never talk to her again. So yes pursue her hard and get an answer. If for some lame reason she or some one else reports you for sexual harassment.... deny deny deny and turn it on her. also don't let any one else see you hitting on her so it should only be her reporting you... I mean than again she could tell some feminist co worker about being hit on and that co worker report you but at least she wouldn't have witnessed it with out being a liar. Good luck. If it were me I'd make things clear. Ask her out again. Make it something fun. I can't believe what I'm reading. You're saying to aggressively pursue this girl and if she complains, claim SHE is the problem? What about how the girl feels? Why are you so dismissive about sexual harassment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mansa Posted January 7, 2013 Author Share Posted January 7, 2013 Today was a different story, she got off but didn't go home. She came to my section when i was alone, she sat beside me and started asking me about my private life. About 2:00am she want to go home but asked me to walk her to her car outside. I walked out with her but i didn't ask her out again. She told me she would like me to walk her out whenever she stays late night. Do you guys have any idea what's going on with her? Should i ask her out again? Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Today was a different story, she got off but didn't go home. She came to my section when i was alone, she sat beside me and started asking me about my private life. About 2:00am she want to go home but asked me to walk her to her car outside. I walked out with her but i didn't ask her out again. She told me she would like me to walk her out whenever she stays late night. Do you guys have any idea what's going on with her? Should i ask her out again? Yes you should ask her out again when you're alone like that like I told you. I already gave you my opinion and you already did the opposite of being aggressive when she gave you such a big opportunity. Girls don't do what she did unless they like somebody. She most likely wants you to chase her a little. that's my opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mansa Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 Thank you much for your opinions. I asked her out tonight she said yes we can go out, but later on she went in to the nurse station and was talking with my direct supervisor then she came back out and we walked to her car, she said she want to but she is worried about the rumors if people know we are going out, and also that she is a supervisor although not my direct supervisor but she don't think is a good idea. The whole thing here is, she is interested and I can tell that because of how she behaves in my present, she even asks me some advices about her job when am not even a supervisor. I dont my resigning if she wana date me because i have a lot of places that still calls me to work for them. My problem here is how to deal with her so that we can date without any problem at work. I Will appreciate your opinions, thanks much. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Thank you much for your opinions. I asked her out tonight she said yes we can go out, but later on she went in to the nurse station and was talking with my direct supervisor then she came back out and we walked to her car, she said she want to but she is worried about the rumors if people know we are going out, and also that she is a supervisor although not my direct supervisor but she don't think is a good idea. The whole thing here is, she is interested and I can tell that because of how she behaves in my present, she even asks me some advices about her job when am not even a supervisor. I dont my resigning if she wana date me because i have a lot of places that still calls me to work for them. My problem here is how to deal with her so that we can date without any problem at work. I Will appreciate your opinions, thanks much. Well if there are a lot of places that call you for work sure get another job. Just make sure its enough of a raise to leave. I mean if it's only a little raise it's not worth jumping into something new you might hate. But if it's like 20% or over than yes leave. If you don't have another job that is going to pay you more than just ask her out again on a date but say don't worry we're just going out as friends and that she's going to make things weird if she says no just because she's your supervisor. Than kiss her on the "date" haha. Also tell her not to worry as that supervisor stuff is just policy to protect the company for women who would later decide to sue and say they were pressured into it and couldn't say no. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mansa Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 Thanks for your opinion. She also said she would like us to go out in a group with other coworkers. We all new to this place, I also noticed another coworker that she supervises also flirts me but am not into her, they goes out together with other guys at work and she told me twice to join them. You think its a good idea to do that? If so, how should act when a went out in a group? Am not experience in such kind of things at work, I appreciate your opinions once again. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Decide for yourself. I'm confused why you need so much advice. You got this man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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