The things that bother me most I have little to no control over

[TouchedByViolet]

Does anyone else feel this way? In order of frustration I would say...

 

1- Being single. I do my best everyday (and am confident someday things will work out) but I find myself single and being rejected a lot. I really struggle being happy with no one in my life. I feel like it's because I have to work extra hard to have a chance with women.

 

2- Hairloss. I started loosing hair at 21 and am 25 now. Still don't need to shave it off but people comment on it regularly now and it is difficult to deal with some days.

 

3- My family. I have no siblings, and I hate my mother who I rarely ever talk to (she is pretty awful). I do have a good dad. People always feel sorry for me when I tell them I don't talk to my mother and I think it turns off a lot of women. I don't really have a family unit which sucks. I have no doubt I will be a great husband and father one day but people judge.

 

I am trying to force myself to be productive a little everyday which makes me feel better.

[TouchedByViolet]

There's a saying: Friends are the family you choose. If your bio-family isn't giving you what you need, find people who will. It is possible to surround yourself with a caring, supportive "family" who don't happen to be related to you.

 

As far as not talking to your mom, I'll admit I'd consider it a red flag. I have a male friend who doesn't talk to his mom, and I did judge him for it, or at least consider it a sign of some major baggage. Honestly, your best bet might just be to keep that information to yourself until you've gotten to know someone well.

 

I have a few good friends locally. 3 guys and 1 girl who I'm very fortunate to have in my life. I have somehow managed to always have a few good and reliable friends. Still it's different than a family and loving parents.

 

About my mother it is difficult for people to relate. I have tried to make it work but after 24 years I gave up. Some people never change and will be like poison in your life.

 

I completely support myself, have a good job, my own place, own car and great personality I think. Just unlucky a lot.

[Mr.White]

Leave your baggage hidden while you meet new people.

 

If you bomb them with your baggage they will run. It seems to me like you introduce your baggage after you introduce yourself.

 

Shave your head if the hair loss bothers you, my father is bald and he just shaves it and accepts it. Confidence sells itself my friend.

 

Try and not talk about your mother, pity is NEVER a good thing to keep repeating over and over.

[Radu]

Does anyone else feel this way? In order of frustration I would say...

 

1- Being single. I do my best everyday (and am confident someday things will work out) but I find myself single and being rejected a lot. I really struggle being happy with no one in my life. I feel like it's because I have to work extra hard to have a chance with women.

Focus on friends, and get a hobby.

 

2- Hairloss. I started loosing hair at 21 and am 25 now. Still don't need to shave it off but people comment on it regularly now and it is difficult to deal with some days.

Shave, or if you don't and they notice go 'so what ?'. Try to put that response in a carefree attitude.

 

3- My family. I have no siblings, and I hate my mother who I rarely ever talk to (she is pretty awful). I do have a good dad. People always feel sorry for me when I tell them I don't talk to my mother and I think it turns off a lot of women. I don't really have a family unit which sucks. I have no doubt I will be a great husband and father one day but people judge.

 

I am trying to force myself to be productive a little everyday which makes me feel better.

Keep the info about your mother to yourself.

 

Unfortunately ppl discriminate no matter what, the best thing you can do is lower the info you give them to discriminate on, and the few things they can still discriminate on to show them that you don't care.

[TouchedByViolet]

Shave your head if the hair loss bothers you, my father is bald and he just shaves it and accepts it. Confidence sells itself my friend.

 

I will one day but I still have enough hair to grow it out make it look good. I'm young at 25 and want to experience having hair longer.

 

Try and not talk about your mother, pity is NEVER a good thing to keep repeating over and over.

 

I try not to but family comes up naturally in conversations, especially around the holiday time. Usually I get asked about siblings first at which point I say I have none. Then I casually bring up my dad and talk a little about him, but then the only other person left is my mom which women do ask about. I don't bring it up on my own. My friends are very supportive and understanding of my situation. I need to find a women who is too.

[KathyM]

There's a saying that goes, "If you want to know how good of a husband a guy will be, see how he treats his mother." Women will be concerned if you badmouth your mother or say you have no relationship with your mother. You could try to put it delicately if they ask, and you could maybe say that you'd really like to have a great relationship with your mother, but she tends to be a bit (fill in the blank--moody, intrusive, critical, or whatever term describes her), so your relationship is not as close as you would like. I think that makes you come across as someone who wants a relationship with your mother, but it's difficult because she is _________________. I think that's a fair statement that wouldn't turn off a prospective relationship partner.