Had lunch with ex yesterday. Now what?

[Lone]

blocking her is for YOU. trust me you will cave and look at her FB if you don't and u will feel like sh*t. you will cave. for the other part, like i said, she can easily look at ur facebook if she wants to even if u block her. but if u really care so much about her looking often at ur profile, sure just delete her.

 

she might shrug her shoulders, then why in the hell do u want her back? she obv doesn't care for u that much then. this whole NC thing isn't to necessarily get her to come back, as in it will work. we've said that. but it's ur best chance at both moving on, AND her becoming curious and having 2nd thoughts.

 

no i meant if she comes back say calling me up. i'll ignore. she'll likely wait a week or two, try again, maybe a "hey how are you?" text. ignore. then maybe a month later she can't take it anymore and starts calling repeatedly, leaving i miss you voicemails, asking me to talk. THEN, maybe i'll entertain her. but as i say, i'm not sure i even want her back at this point, b/c she put me through a lott of pain leaving me. not sure i can just let that go.

in an ideal world if she cam back and said she wanted you back and it was all a mistake... if you love her do you think you would? i think deep down u know the answer to this.

 

I'm just struggling to understand the difference between blocking and deleting is all. i mean either way i cant view her profile and she cant view mine. the only thing is that since we have tons of mutual friends if i just delete her i can still see what shes commenting and 'liking' for example on those friends pages. I think im just going to block her. Out of sight out of mind kinda deal. Hopefully absence makes the heart grow fonder in her case...

[Lone]

in an ideal world if she cam back and said she wanted you back and it was all a mistake... if you love her do you think you would? i think deep down u know the answer to this.

 

I'm just struggling to understand the difference between blocking and deleting is all. i mean either way i cant view her profile and she cant view mine. the only thing is that since we have tons of mutual friends if i just delete her i can still see what shes commenting and 'liking' for example on those friends pages. I think im just going to block her. Out of sight out of mind kinda deal. Hopefully absence makes the heart grow fonder in her case...

also we broke up about a month and half ago... isnt it too late to delete her now?

[Jono85]

also we broke up about a month and half ago... isnt it too late to delete her now?

 

no man. do it already, stop second guessing. u just talked to her the other day and she king of squashed plans to reconcile. even if u did it randomly in 2 weeks...who cares? you're missing the whole point and still care too much what she thinks. block her and be done. if she calls you out on it, just tell her it's to help you move on. no shame in that. but don't msg her or anything just do it.

[Lone]

no man. do it already, stop second guessing. u just talked to her the other day and she king of squashed plans to reconcile. even if u did it randomly in 2 weeks...who cares? you're missing the whole point and still care too much what she thinks. block her and be done. if she calls you out on it, just tell her it's to help you move on. no shame in that. but don't msg her or anything just do it.

Im going to. im just trying to decide whether to delete her or block her. I feel like doing either will be the final nail in the coffin. i realise thats ridiculous as if she did want to get back together at some stage she would get in touch regardless.

[Lone]

no man. do it already, stop second guessing. u just talked to her the other day and she king of squashed plans to reconcile. even if u did it randomly in 2 weeks...who cares? you're missing the whole point and still care too much what she thinks. block her and be done. if she calls you out on it, just tell her it's to help you move on. no shame in that. but don't msg her or anything just do it.

Now im just thinking if it is worthwhile because i dont want to get weak and add her again. also im pretty good at avoiding her page etc and have all her friends feeds hidden so she doesnt come up in any of that either...

[Lone]

Ok i just unfriended her....

Im not sure if i should block her? not so she cant see my page... she cant see anything anyway. all it has is my profile photo. Whats the benefit is blocking here? Why did you unfriend and then block your ex jono?

[Jono85]

b/c no matter what i always caved after a few days, a week, whatever, and looked at her profile. all that was showing was her profile photo, but it didn't make it easier. it still sucked and hurt, and kept me from moving on.

[Lone]

What about all our photos together? If i block her will it take my tags off them? Like there are a few photos of us together which we are both tagged in... if i block her will it remove my tags from the photos?

 

Should i even care?

[salmagundi]

No you shouldn't care. One day you won't...you just have to be strong to get there...

 

Oh, and stop over thinking all this, it will make you neurotic and crazy. Try under thinking your breakup. Just flow man...one day to the next...it will get better...

[Mr.White]

Ah you remind me of me when I was just out of the break up and a complete mess.

 

First thing. GET RID OF HER! I mean everything that reminds you of her that you cannot handle that will set you back.

 

I had the chance of chancing my home/room and did so. I got rid of all of the memories and only kept the items I could handle (which is clothes). I put all of our pictures/notes/memories in a box and put it in the attic where I should not see until well frankly I never go up there so not for a long time (or I will probably forget when I move out! XD).

 

Stop thinking so dam much about her/how you look in her eyes. She LEFT YOU for a reason. Whether it was the truth or not IF she even wanted to get back together with you she knows how to contact you.

 

She is giving you breadcrumbs. Delete every trace of her and move on.

 

I deleted all of the 'couple' pictures we had online and i un-followed her on Twitter recently.

 

Time to move on, stop thinking how she views you, you give her too much thought/of your time/energy needed for other women.

 

Soon you will think of her and be like 'wow I have not thought of her for a while'. That while at first for me was 30 minutes, and now it is an hour.

 

You will make progress if you follow the NC thread. Trust me, it works and it even states it is not the guide you want if you want to get back together.

 

Cut your loses, you are hanging onto a string that she no longer holds out for you.

[Lone]

F man. I've been a emotional wreck for over a month. Like really bad I don't even want to go into details. I'm shocked at myself. All of us say how we don't know our exs due to their behaviour during break up etc. well I don't even know myself.

 

Well I've deleted her now. The block can come f I need it I guess. I don't really know what the difference is. I'm trying to be committed to turning this around. I want to put myself in best position to attract her back or reconcile and if not ten atleast put myself in a position to move on and be happy within myself and maybe attract someone else...

 

It still hurts so much. I genuinely miss that human so so much.

I'd love it if she came back and I had done some work on myself and she had too so we could start fresh and see if could make it work...

[Mr.White]

F man. I've been a emotional wreck for over a month. Like really bad I don't even want to go into details. I'm shocked at myself. All of us say how we don't know our exs due to their behaviour during break up etc. well I don't even know myself.

 

Well I've deleted her now. The block can come f I need it I guess. I don't really know what the difference is. I'm trying to be committed to turning this around. I want to put myself in best position to attract her back or reconcile and if not ten atleast put myself in a position to move on and be happy within myself and maybe attract someone else...

 

It still hurts so much. I genuinely miss that human so so much.

I'd love it if she came back and I had done some work on myself and she had too so we could start fresh and see if could make it work...

 

Hey she left you. Stop trying to think/daydream/giving her the time of day of getting back together with her

 

I know how you feel right now, I have been in your position. Take it day by day but keep in mind that IF she wanted to be with you, she still would be with you.

 

Time to pack your s(h)it up from this past relationship and wait for the next bus

 

One step at a time, one day at a time and it will get better. Mourn on it if you have to, but don't forget to take care of yourself, get out, socialize, and meet new people (especially the other gender).

 

Gun N Roses- November Rain

[Lone]

Ah you remind me of me when I was just out of the break up and a complete mess.

 

First thing. GET RID OF HER! I mean everything that reminds you of her that you cannot handle that will set you back.

 

I had the chance of chancing my home/room and did so. I got rid of all of the memories and only kept the items I could handle (which is clothes). I put all of our pictures/notes/memories in a box and put it in the attic where I should not see until well frankly I never go up there so not for a long time (or I will probably forget when I move out! XD).

 

Stop thinking so dam much about her/how you look in her eyes. She LEFT YOU for a reason. Whether it was the truth or not IF she even wanted to get back together with you she knows how to contact you.

 

She is giving you breadcrumbs. Delete every trace of her and move on.

 

I deleted all of the 'couple' pictures we had online and i un-followed her on Twitter recently.

 

Time to move on, stop thinking how she views you, you give her too much thought/of your time/energy needed for other women.

 

Soon you will think of her and be like 'wow I have not thought of her for a while'. That while at first for me was 30 minutes, and now it is an hour.

 

You will make progress if you follow the NC thread. Trust me, it works and it even states it is not the guide you want if you want to get back together.

 

Cut your loses, you are hanging onto a string that she no longer holds out for you.

 

Are you hoping to reconcile w your girl? As mentioned above, I'm trying to do things that will enable me to move on/attract someone else and MAYBE get her back- I.e disappearing indefinitely. Either way at least I will be in a better position moving forward.

 

I'm letting go of the string slowly. I can feel it. The biggest motivator is that it's a crucial step to reconcialitation.

[Mr.White]

No. I am glad I checked her twitter and found out she is in a relationship with another guy.

 

It helped me move on (it kind of made me move on) but I am glad it did. Now I am actually more happy, have more energy and I actually enjoy my life.

 

Do not try and attract anyone else right now.

 

After my BU I focused on myself. I focused on my body, my family and my friends. I focused on how I should rearrange my life, the goals I need to set to achieve the dreams I had for myself before/during the relationship, my knowledge and my social circle.

 

I focused on my flaws, the parts of the relationship I did not like so I can improve in my future relationships, family and friends.

 

I cannot emphasize how much my friends have done for me. They have brought me out into uncomfortable situations where I actually had fun talking/flirting with girls, doing physical social activities like basketball and snowboarding, and helping me in my appearance by willing to go shopping and taking care of ourselves (Sounds gay but I and my friends are not) .

 

Stop trying to get back with her.

 

SHE LEFT YOU

 

She does not want a relationship with you. SHe just dumped you down from her boyfriend to just a friend. Can you handle the idea of her being with another man?

 

My ex said she did not want a relationship/she did not know what she wanted. The next day she was in a relationship with a guy.

 

She knew what she wanted, she just did not want a relationship with me.

 

Girls can lie, and they can lie well. So just know that. She probably lied straight to your face and you bought it just like I did.

[Lone]

Possibly. But either way is be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that just maybe maybe she will come back. If I disappear or even if there is someone else that maybe with time and reflection she will get thinking and maybe reach out to me... Then hopefully il be at the poit I can tell her to get.

[Mr.White]

Try following the NC guide, especially the revised version.

 

Caliguy posted his on another thread last night I believe, but TaraMaiden also has done a nice edited version in her signature.

 

Read all three and follow them. Best of luck.

[Lone]

I'm preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. Put it that way. I think I've read all those guides. I've been scouring the net for info for over a month. I'm honestly a freak at the moment. I don't do any work at my job. It's terrible. I'm only just starting to function again. I will get through it eventually I know and maybe one day I will stop caring but as I mentioned the hope that she will come back is there. I might be wrong and everyone can say it won't happen and this and that but no one knows what will happen.

[Tmo2]

I'm preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. Put it that way. I think I've read all those guides. I've been scouring the net for info for over a month. I'm honestly a freak at the moment. I don't do any work at my job. It's terrible. I'm only just starting to function again. I will get through it eventually I know and maybe one day I will stop caring but as I mentioned the hope that she will come back is there. I might be wrong and everyone can say it won't happen and this and that but no one knows what will happen.

 

Keep your chin up, you're on the right track to being a better man

[Lone]

thanks. just gotta keep on keeping on. it will work itself out. its the uncertainty that gets me more than anything... will i hear from her again? will she ever regret her decision? u know the drill.

 

i just pray with time she may come around.

[Mr.White]

Try not to dwell on her coming back Lone.

 

She will come back if she wants to, on her own free will.

 

Do you think she wants to come back to the same person who has not changed themselves positively one bit?

 

Focus on yourself, the things you always wanted to do whether being in a relationship held you back or not.

 

Please focus on yourself and bettering yourself because it seems to me like you are focusing all the energy that is meant to be showered onto you, on a false hope of her returning.

 

Have you gone out with friends? Met new people (girls)? Done new fun activities?

 

I hope your answer is yes to all three. If not why have you not done these three things?

[Lone]

Yes I am doing my best to better myself and focus on me.

 

Lately I have been feeling much better but with that comes a lot of guilt and anxiety that IF I'm feeling better then there really is no chance she will ever come back. Which obviously is upsetting. It's a catch 22. If there is any hands of attracting her back I need I move on but doing just that makes me worry that f I can feel that way then how she must be feeling. Also the guilt of moving on. I know it doesn't make any sense.

 

I just want to put myself in the best position for her to come back.

[Lone]

Try not to dwell on her coming back Lone.

 

She will come back if she wants to, on her own free will.

 

Do you think she wants to come back to the same person who has not changed themselves positively one bit?

 

Focus on yourself, the things you always wanted to do whether being in a relationship held you back or not.

 

Please focus on yourself and bettering yourself because it seems to me like you are focusing all the energy that is meant to be showered onto you, on a false hope of her returning.

 

Have you gone out with friends? Met new people (girls)? Done new fun activities?

 

I hope your answer is yes to all three. If not why have you not done these three things?

 

Mr White, you say if she wants to come back she will. This is what im hoping for. But im still struggling to figure out what i can do to put myself in the best position for this to happen...

 

We mix in similar circles and i will see her again (a lot probably). So i just need to know what to do that will give me the best chance of reconciliation...? I realise there is nothing definite at all but please help me. im struggling so much. i cannot let go. i feel like im going to implode. the anxiety is killing me.

[Maybe1]

Do you think it was a good idea meeting her in the first place? My ex has just suggested a catch up after I broke NC. Would you suggest it or dd it make you feel worse? I'm unsure what I should do.

[Lone]

Don't do it. Let her sweat

[calgary]

how did your story go ? have you got her back ?!