DerangedAngel Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Recently, I have noticed that I am the world's worst at returning calls, or replying to emails/PM's. "Jane": Yo, Deranged, where have you been? I've been calling and emailing you for a month. Did you die or something? Me: F*ck. You called? My answering machine "eats" my messages (when I say this, I mean I didn't really want to talk to you). Or something. I think I emailed you once. Did you not get it? *squirm* I guess I'm not always that way, but sometimes I check my messages and don't really care, or just plain forget. I can be pretty hard to reach, for everyone except my significant other. My close friends usually don't mind, same thing with my family. However, I think I come off as rather rude to people that don't know this about me. Does anyone else do this? Retreat for days or weeks before finally returning a s***load of calls/emails? I love living in my own little world for a while. I'm not saying it's good, or polite, but I love it just the same. This makes me rude, huh? Is there any way I can change this about myself without changing completely? Sort of the minimum requirement for a functional, and friendly (but not that friendly), member of society or whatever. I actually owe several of you PM's but I'm posting this instead. Cheers and make me better. -Deranged Link to post Share on other sites
sinner Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 No one here is under any obligation to respond to PMs, let alone reply in an expeditious manner. There are lots of fish in the LoveShack sea. So if someone does not reply, or replies long after receipt, I just move on. DA, you are who you are: this cyclic withdrawal or temporary disconnect is not a character flaw, let alone pathological. It's one of the ways you've learned to cope with life's stresses and strains. And it sounds like a successful coping mechanism for you Don't change a long time coping strategy simply because of gripes from some bruised egos. Continue on. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 I'm pretty much the same way. It's hard to pause my life to return a call. If they don't call when I'm actually there, then there isn't much hope. I feel a little guilty about it. It's mostly just procrastination, because I do intend to return the call. But then time passes and I start to figure whatever it was must not have been that important or they would have called again. I kind of figure they're like me: they use the phone to get things done or arranged. Not for chatting. Same with emails. I don't really chat much even face to face. Not much small talk. It's worse on my cell, because I don't keep it with me unless I need it. If someone leaves a message for me there, it may take weeks for me to get it. And then there's no way I'll return the call. That's a nice picture by the way. I think you've topped UCFKevin for prettiest avatar. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted August 18, 2004 Share Posted August 18, 2004 Well, I'm REALLY good with replying to messages/calls from friends as a rule...and I get frustrated/hurt (I'm a sensitive soul) when other people don't reply to me...I try and understand the reasons, but I still feel a bit upset. However, at work, as a reporter, lots of people call about stories...and to be honest, unless it seems really important I don't always call back...I think, well if it's really big, and/or they want the publicity they'll call again. Bit slack of me really. DA I wouldn't worry too much. Sometimes you can just make a quick courtesy call, email or SMS though, which may satisfy all parties. Link to post Share on other sites
EIN Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 If you have a problem with returning emails or phones which I consider bad etiquette, then at least set your email to auto reply with a standard message: Thank you for taking your time to write to me. I will do my best to get back to you as soon as possible. A note like that will not leave someone hanging and thus would give you a resonable excus eto not return back to someone if you dont really want to talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Perhaps you're too sure that ppl will stick around even though you're being rude?... Has anyone given up trying to contact you after you didn't return their calls/emails? -yes Link to post Share on other sites
EIN Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 to answer your question, no because I am currently doing that. If I want you to hear something, I am not going to wait or regret about it anymore, I just write or call at that given moment. What you do after it is up to you. "I am only responsible for the effort, not the result" as a good Acquaintance, Jim told me. You will see how easy it is to go find a relationship with that attitude. Trust me, its working wonders for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 I definitely have this problem too. In some ways it's part of my general procrastination problem. I'm fairly good at calling people back on the phone, but terrible at returning emails. With emails, I feel like there is always so much to say, and I want to do a good job on it (why, I'm not sure), that I just have a hard time making myself do it. A friend of mine finally told me, that when she sends me an email, to just send her a line or 2 back just to acknowledge that I got it. Luckily, my friends are understanding about this. And it's really not that I am ignoring anyone, in fact I was looking at some emails in my inbox this morning, and thinking I really need to respond to those, so I am thinking about these people, but I guess it would be better to actually respond. I was always a terrible letter writer too. I don't seem to have any trouble responding to posts on LS though, wonder what's up with that? Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 That's a nice picture by the way. I think you've topped UCFKevin for prettiest avatar. Thanks. Perhaps you're too sure that ppl will stick around even though you're being rude?... Has anyone given up trying to contact you after you didn't return their calls/emails? No, they haven't given up, but I think you're right about me being too sure. I don't seem to have any trouble responding to posts on LS though, wonder what's up with that? I know what you mean! Thanks for all replies. -DA Link to post Share on other sites
pav186 Posted August 28, 2004 Share Posted August 28, 2004 Im very similar...i wont check my voicemail for a week or two sometimes. One time I had 27 voicemails before I finally checked. My friends have said things like they thought I was mad at them, or just bust my balls for never callin them back. They know i'm not trying to intentionally be rude so I think theyve come to accept it. It's just that we're the minority...I think most other people actively stay on top of things like that I can relate to going into your own little world too, sometimes its just nice... Link to post Share on other sites
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