Guy friend possibly has feelings?

[camillalev]

Hi all!

I recently went back home for the holidays and spent some time with a long-time friend, we'll call him Dan. Nothing romantic happened between us. Later I moved across the country to a big city for college. From what Iremember after the first few years we didn't talk much, but whenever I came home we would hang, and a few times he came to visit the city. Even if we hadn't spoken in awhile, we just picked up where we left off. Back then he was going through a lot of really tough stuff, he often confided in me and told me he considered me his one true friend.

 

It was always really innocent between us.. I never considered having feelings for him and vice versa. Whenever he stayed with me he would would sleep in my bed and it was NEVER weird. Some people are apt to say that probably wasnt the case on his end but to give you a picture.. at that time(college age) i had very short hair, dyed multiple colors, dressed in crazy clothes.. physically NOT his type of lady . To me Dan was just Dan.

 

Fast forward to years down the line. We hung out one night in our hometown and stayed up until 5 in the morning talking and I slept over. Nothing happened.

 

So, now the things that make me question if he has feelings for me.. That night was a pretty normal, twice he commented to me that he thought I was 'classically beautiful', which I thought was nice of him to say. A few years prior he came to visit and several times made comments that something I was doing was 'sexy'.. which I might have ignored a bit. So I come back to my city and he sent me this song:

asked me if anyone has sent me this song because 'someone should.' The next day he ims me and says he's been thinking of me all day and sends me a link to another song. We talk and I'm friendly towards him but don't reciprocate in the same way. We spoke today and he asked when the last time I went traveling was and if I wanted to travel to Europe with him sometime in the future.

Even before I went back home he would tell me on fb that I became 'very pretty', asked if I remembered that one time he rode me home on his bike, told me that to him I'm like a beacon, I remind him of points in life and where he's going.

 

Now we talk over IM everyday and he's suggested videochatting and what not.. we haven't spoken this much in years. Maybe he just wants a closer friendship?

Edited March 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[camillalev]

Ok that was Much longer than I expected it to be. This is the gist of it:

 

Hi all!

I recently went back home for the holidays and spent some time with a long-time friend, we'll call him Dan. Nothing romantic happened between us. Later I moved across the country to a big city for college. From what Iremember after the first few years we didn't talk much, but whenever I came home we would hang, and a few times he came to visit the city. Even if we hadn't spoken in awhile, we just picked up where we left off. Back then he was going through a lot of really tough stuff, he often confided in me and told me he considered me his one true friend.

 

It was always really innocent between us.. I never considered having feelings for him and vice versa. Whenever he stayed with me he would would sleep in my bed and it was NEVER weird. Some people are apt to say that probably wasnt the case on his end but to give you a picture.. at that time(college age) i had very short hair, dyed multiple colors, dressed in crazy clothes.. physically NOT his type of lady . To me Dan was just Dan.

 

Fast forward to years down the line. We hung out one night in our hometown and stayed up until 5 in the morning talking and I slept over. Nothing happened.

 

So, now the things that make me question if he has feelings for me.. That night was a pretty normal, twice he commented to me that he thought I was 'classically beautiful', which I thought was nice of him to say. A few years prior he came to visit and several times made comments that something I was doing was 'sexy'.. which I might have ignored a bit. So I come back to my city and he sent me this song:

asked me if anyone has sent me this song because 'someone should.' The next day he ims me and says he's been thinking of me all day and sends me a link to another song. We talk and I'm friendly towards him but don't reciprocate in the same way. We spoke today and he asked when the last time I went traveling was and if I wanted to travel to Europe with him sometime in the future.

Even before I went back home he would tell me on fb that I became 'very pretty', asked if I remembered that one time he rode me home on his bike, told me that to him I'm like a beacon, I remind him of points in life and where he's going.

 

Now we talk over IM everyday and he's suggested videochatting and what not.. we haven't spoken this much in years. Maybe he just wants a closer friendship?

 

 

It occurred to me that he might be going through a weird period after moving back to his parents after being independent for years. He hasn't lived there since we were kids. Maybe he's being reminiscent and I'm reading too deeply into it.

 

Input is greatly appreciated!!

Edited March 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[MikeyBe]

Sounds like you two have been through alot over the years but its hard to give input without knowing him.

 

But there not much in your post that says how you feel about him. Do you want him to have feelings for you? Are you willing to become more then friends with him?

[redleader]

Sounds like he misses his friend. If he hasn't made a solid move by now it seems more likely that is still the case.

 

I am in this situation now sort of. I have slept with my friend before when it was more a sex thing, but it did grow into something else that was deeper. Now we do just sleep without sleeping together, though I admit there has been some weirdness from myself in this for a few reasons. The line where you care about someone enough to not want to read too far in or risk screwing it up is a tough one to cross. Now she is my friend first and my lover second. We both have at least admitted this is why we would probably be a good couple, but personally for both of us we have just been out of phase in this way.

 

But if you are that good of friends, it seems reasonable if you just ask him, if you know that it might have the opposite effect of what you want it to.