jordjones Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 My girlfriend and I have been together for about two months. Since the beginning she has texted this particular guy friend, whom she says she has never had relations with, all the time. At first, I didn't think much of it, but it now seems to be going on more than ever - like a few texts every hour throughout the entire day. I've never met this guy. I've noticed of late that she shields her phone away from me when she is texting him (in a manner that makes me suspect she doesn't want me to read). The one time I actually saw what they were texting, it was "I miss you" during Christmas break, and once he told her, "good night." My girlfriend and I are around each other most of the time and sleep at her place almost every evening; I am constantly witnessing this text game going on. Yesterday she went to the pound with him to get a dog for him, when I wasn't around. She didn't tell me about this until the next morning. When I bring it up, she just says that he is her best guy friend, and that nothing is there. I don't think she is cheating, but this has begun to irritate me. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 If the roles were reversed would she be as understanding as you have been? I doubt it. When a girlfriend has her best friend as man it usually does not end well for the boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 (edited) Crush that crap "That best guy friend" is lame and women dont get that double standard If she respects your relationship, she will fix it... tell her straight up... "I'm out, I want no part of this, you obviously don't respect our relationship with your best guy friend" and actually leave if she doesnt, you killed 2 birds with one stone I know a girl that's doing this now and she's essentially using the best guy friend to break up the relationship because her bf is a pansey and wont stand up to her Edited January 7, 2013 by CptSaveAho ` Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Make sure she knows that the ONLY reason he texts her all day and calls her all day and goes to the pound with her is because he wants to bang her. Amazingly, some women don't know that. When she says she doesn't believe you, have her Google "does my guy friend want to screw me?". If that doesn't shake her up, it's only because she wants to screw him as well. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Make sure she knows that the ONLY reason he texts her all day and calls her all day and goes to the pound with her is because he wants to bang her. Amazingly, some women don't know that. When she says she doesn't believe you, have her Google "does my guy friend want to screw me?". If that doesn't shake her up, it's only because she wants to screw him as well. There's no need to do this.... contrary to guy's views on here.... girls know what is going on in our heads, especially both heads of the "best guy friend" Do what I suggested, walk away with your dignity and pride and your personal boundaries in tact Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 I don't own a cell phone and never will. My question is this, when did our society become so stupid and lazy? Throw in anti-social. You have a phone in your hand and you would rather text when you please than actually conversing with another human being? Oh, and as for your girlfriend man, something is up with that. Unless the guy she is best friend's with is gay I can only assume that this guy is doing what all guy's do and laying the groundwork for a potential future relationship with her by being her "best friend". Girls never seem to pick up on this. And furthermore, she has a new boyfriend (you) of three months. She should be doing what we all do with a new partner, she should be infatuated with you and spending less time texting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 Yea, I agree with what others have said. Cut your losses on this one. You're looking for a girlfriend, not a three-way with some ditzy chick who's attached at the hip to friend-zone guy through the cellphone. Even if she were to curtail the texting while in your presence, this guy is always going to be part of this relationship. And if you think it's annoying now, you really don't want to be dealing with it 6 months or a year from now. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Ahhhhhhh, this crap... A similar situation brought me here, except the guy in question was the girl I was talking to's EX BOYFRIEND! I know it's easy to say when you aren't involved, but it'd be best to drop this girl ASAP since she obviously doesn't know how to act in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 Ahhhhhhh, this crap... A similar situation brought me here, except the guy in question was the girl I was talking to's EX BOYFRIEND! I know it's easy to say when you aren't involved, but it'd be best to drop this girl ASAP since she obviously doesn't know how to act in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Chief Wiggum Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Dude, sorry to say, but that 'best friend' is either banging her already, or is trying to. And by the sound if things, she knows it and likes it. Save yourself the heartache, and confront her about this. This NOT something you should be letting her doing (especially in you presence). Link to post Share on other sites
Sav Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Don't repeat my mistake, i trusted my ex with her "guyfriend" and in the end she's my ex now. Either give strict boundaries or dump her ass Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 There will be women on here who say it's unfair for you to not accept your girls relationship with this guy and will politely tell you to love it or lump it. Ignore that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 My girlfriend and I have been together for about two months. Since the beginning she has texted this particular guy friend, whom she says she has never had relations with, all the time. At first, I didn't think much of it, but it now seems to be going on more than ever - like a few texts every hour throughout the entire day. I've never met this guy. I've noticed of late that she shields her phone away from me when she is texting him (in a manner that makes me suspect she doesn't want me to read). The one time I actually saw what they were texting, it was "I miss you" during Christmas break, and once he told her, "good night." My girlfriend and I are around each other most of the time and sleep at her place almost every evening; I am constantly witnessing this text game going on. Yesterday she went to the pound with him to get a dog for him, when I wasn't around. She didn't tell me about this until the next morning. When I bring it up, she just says that he is her best guy friend, and that nothing is there. I don't think she is cheating, but this has begun to irritate me. What do you think? This GF has no respect for you. She is the kind of girl that has to be on a constant power trip keeping many men as possible interested in her at the same time. Dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 My GF has a male best friend that either calls her or texts her almost every day. I have seen her ignore the texts and calls for days. I told her I wanted to meet him, she said she wanted me to meet him, and I have. He is from out of town (they became friends while he lived here, he recently moved) and recently came into town to catch up with some old friends, her being one of them. I met him, paid attention to how they interact, and from her perspective, with 100% confidence I know it's platonic, just a great friend. From his I think the same, though I was not 100% sure. Given the opportunity to sleep with her would he, I am not sure. I think No. In the end, it's their relationship, it pre-dates me, not mine to judge or interfere with. I have to trust her until proven otherwise, and I do. It's not easy though. Link to post Share on other sites
piggyoink Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Sounds like some people belive in gorean culture. Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 My GF has a male best friend that either calls her or texts her almost every day. Given the opportunity to sleep with her would he, I am not sure. I think No. You think "no", do you? Hey. On another note, I own this really cool, old, historic bridge that runs from the lower east side of Manhattan to Brooklyn. I'll sell it to you for cheap. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 You think "no", do you? Hey. On another note, I own this really cool, old, historic bridge that runs from the lower east side of Manhattan to Brooklyn. I'll sell it to you for cheap. I should clarify, I have only met him once and the vibe I got was No. He interacted with her as a buddy, someone to hang out with, and so did she. My point is I will never truly know unless I can get into his head. Link to post Share on other sites
Sircrax Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I hate to be the paranoid "Shield ur womens!!!1" type but as far as other men go, the conservative assumption is thus: if it has a penis, it won't say no. Maybe I'm a dirty bastard, but even when I think about my most honest, platonic, above-board friendships with women (regardless of sexual atttactiveness, although there's a definite correlation)... if I ask myself "would I turn her down?" the answer is no exactly 0% of the time. Edit: if I were single, that is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NervisPervis Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I should clarify, I have only met him once and the vibe I got was No. He interacted with her as a buddy, someone to hang out with, and so did she. My point is I will never truly know unless I can get into his head. My God! This is you TOO!! Get. Away. From. Her. NOW!! Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I hate to be the paranoid "Shield ur womens!!!1" type but as far as other men go, the conservative assumption is thus: if it has a penis, it won't say no. Maybe I'm a dirty bastard, but even when I think about my most honest, platonic, above-board friendships with women (regardless of sexual atttactiveness, although there's a definite correlation)... if I ask myself "would I turn her down?" the answer is no exactly 0% of the time. Edit: if I were single, that is. You got that right, you dirty bastard It astonishes me how naive people can be about this stuff. Bottom line: opposite sex friendships, ex's hanging around = don't get involved unless you're seriously into getting the headf*ck game played on you. Link to post Share on other sites
GSB81 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 In the end, it's their relationship, it pre-dates me, not mine to judge or interfere with. I have to trust her until proven otherwise, and I do. It's not easy though. These are the words of a trained man trying to convince himself that his woman's relationship with another man doesn't bother him. No man thinks in these terms naturally. Let's test it, shall we? Let's say you found out she's been banging this guy for years. The relationship is THEIRS and it PRE-DATES you. Is it now yours to judge and interfere with? Link to post Share on other sites
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