10 commandments of dating for men

[Nightsky]

I'll accept the demotion with as much grace as I can muster.

 

haha maybe you're not demoted, I just can't do it to you. TWO number ones OK... no she's just a little bit below you...

 

 

 

Haha. Thanks. I was discussing this with a friend who is an actual (published) writer. She was giving me positive strokes, but I'd never be a proper writer like her. I'm too cold and clinical in my style, I think.

 

That's probably what you enjoy though, you closet masochist. I sense elements of denial and reaction formation in the "I'm the man, I'm in charge God damn it..." approach. The truth is, you want nothing more than to be dressed in a baby-gro, spun around on a wheel of misfortune and spanked periodically.

 

I never had a "I'm the man in charge damn it..." approach lol. I just want to be head of household. I do enjoy the occasional pain and humiliation though nothing so formal as a baby-gro and wheel of misfortune. I once spun a wheel at a bar and had ice dumped down my pants. I am much more of a sadist though. Much prefer to be spanking you and hearing you make noises.

 

One of my favorite writers is Edgar Rice Burroughs. Fck propper writers you're one of my favorite. I need to hire you to write for me toute suite.

[veggirl]

The main problem I have with modern feminism is its unabashed role in the destruction of the nuclear family unit. For years' date=' the nuclear family (mother, father, and children) were the cornerstone of a healthy society. The nuclear family allowed a sense of belonging, a sense of stability, a way to bond with other humans. It allowed for a "hashing out" of needs, wants, frustrations, and all sorts of other human emotions. When a problem arose, no one dealt with it alone. It was all for one, and one for all. Mom's problem is Dad's problem is Billy's problem is Susie's problem. Now, with the family being disintegrated at the speed of light, this fundamental institution is falling apart.The nuclear family at its healthiest is one based of complementary synergy. There's no point in having a power struggle. Each person in the family feeds off of what that person brings to the table.[/quote']

 

Pretty much totally agree with your whole post. Esp liked that part.

 

 

Biologically, women are different creatures. Not inferior, different. When women try to compete with men rather than complement them, the end result is not good.

 

yeah that too

 

Feminists want their cake and to eat it too. Like LittleMissLonely stated with the bus example, feminists have told women that they should expect chivalrous actions to be done in the modern era. Chivalry only works when one gender is at a disadvantage socially. When women demand abject equality, they should not expect to have things done for them because they are women.

 

Yeah if a woman can say "XYZ shows he's a MAN and he will PROTECT AND PROVIDE" about situations then why can't a guy say "she should cook for me and she should stay home with the kids, it shows she is a WOMAN...etc"

 

It is true that a LOT of women expect more than they feel they should have to give. It's seen here on LS even, like practically daily. So that's not really cool. No one would yell and scream if I made a list saying I want a fit man who makes enough money to support our family and doesn't nag me.

 

and LittleMiss is right, people like her and I who are more "traditional" I guess, are looked at like we are backwards freaks for being that way. how often do you see people yelling about "omg its not the 1950s anymore!" lol. whatever.

[KungFuJoe]

Do you do standup?

 

Typical response from someone who is learning about life through a book.

[Charlie Harper]

OMG my popcorn is almost gone!

 

*goes to get more*

 

Ok I wonder if the OP has had a long term relationship with said perfect girl?

[Nightsky]

Typical response from someone who is learning about life through a book.

 

Typical response from some one who attacks people personally instead of arguing the things we write. You're very predictable!

 

OMG my popcorn is almost gone!

 

*goes to get more*

 

Ok I wonder if the OP has had a long term relationship with said perfect girl?

 

I'm still looking for my perfect girl. I have had long term relationships and learned from them. I also have friends and family's experience to draw on. I don't live in some feminist bubble.

[TheZebra]

Geez Zebra. Does your mom know you pity her and her life choices so much?

 

Are you kidding? Every day my mother tells me to strive for better. To never let a man tell me what I can and can't do. She encourages me to be career focused as much as my dad does. Even she acknowledges that her situation sucks.

 

 

Well more like neither raising the children, the babysitter raising the children.

 

Depends on the arrangement you have. I'm an entrepreneurial person and all of my partners have been. Our plan was to bring the kids into work (if there's an office) or stay with them at home if the business was run from home. I don't trust babysitters anyway.

 

 

Well your parents either didn't discuss the arrangement and AGREE ON IT before hand (or they did and your mom is fine with it) or someone along the line changed things up. In any marriage, unless there is unlimited $$ or something, any expensive purchases should be agreed on both partners.

 

No idea there. Never asked them about what their supposed agreement was, if there was one.

 

 

Your mom was stuck staying home with you I guess. That's how you seem to look at it. You are lucky your mom got to stay home with you. Kids need that.

 

You are putting way more value on your dad's contributions to your family than your moms. That's sad.

 

Sure, it was great having mom at home. I know she loved it and she doesn't want me to move out of the house even now. But I know she has a lot of regrets about leaving her career.

 

My parents raised me equally. Even though my mom was home most of the time (my dad raised me when I was younger because he was starting his own business from home and my mom was away at her work), my dad had just as much influence when it came to parenting. Just because my mom was at home didn't mean she was more of a parent. When I had troubles or needed someone to talk to, I always talked to them both together. In some places they each had their specialties. My mom helped me mature as a young woman, my dad helped me with science projects. But both were always present.

 

The real, honest truth here is that most of what my mom does can be done by a maid. Sorry, but my dad busts his balls every day running his business to bring home an amazing salary that allows them to live a life of luxury while my mom stays home and maintains the house.

 

You didn't really address my main issue - financial independence. If I marry a guy and have children, giving up my career for this, what happens to me if we get divorced? He'll be fine. I may not have been in the work force for years so good luck to me in maintaining the same standard of living I was used to. Even if we don't get divorced, I don't want to feel guilty about spending money on what I want when I want it. Right now if I have money in my account to buy a Fendi purse and I want a Fendi purse, I will go buy that purse. My mom cannot do that because 'her' money isn't 'hers'.

 

The plan my ex and I used to have was perfect. We had our own individual bank accounts. We would also have a joint account where we would both put in the same % of our income which would be used for things like expenses (rent, food, etc) and fun things (vacations, sporting events). We could maintain our independece without problems. If he wanted to buy new golf clubs he could and I couldn't stop him.

[Nightsky]

Are you kidding? Every day my mother tells me to strive for better. To never let a man tell me what I can and can't do. She encourages me to be career focused as much as my dad does. Even she acknowledges that her situation sucks.

 

She made her own situation. I guess she wants to encourage you to be a whiner. I mean even now she really doesn't have to stay with your father if she doesn't want to. If she does stay with him it means she thinks it's better than the alternative.

 

 

 

 

The real' date=' honest truth here is that most of what my mom does can be done by a maid. Sorry, but my dad busts his balls every day running his business to bring home an amazing salary that allows them to live a life of luxury while my mom stays home and maintains the house. [/quote']

 

How annoying it must be for your dad to have your mom act so upset she left her career and filling your head with poison. Maybe he enjoys that kind of thing though...

[ThaWholigan]

The main problem I have with modern feminism is its unabashed role in the destruction of the nuclear family unit. For years' date=' the nuclear family (mother, father, and children) were the cornerstone of a healthy society. The nuclear family allowed a sense of belonging, a sense of stability, a way to bond with other humans. It allowed for a "hashing out" of needs, wants, frustrations, and all sorts of other human emotions. When a problem arose, no one dealt with it alone. It was all for one, and one for all. Mom's problem is Dad's problem is Billy's problem is Susie's problem. Now, with the family being disintegrated at the speed of light, this fundamental institution is falling apart.The nuclear family at its healthiest is one based of complementary synergy. There's no point in having a power struggle. Each person in the family feeds off of what that person brings to the table. [/quote']

 

I don't know a great deal about feminism (because I didn't really think about it) but I have noticed that the nuclear family unit seems to have taken a few hits generally. Saying that, I don't believe that everybody wants to have one. Personally I want a family, but I've spoken to people older than myself who expressed that they didn't necessarily want one, and I meet people who are either more single-minded or just aren't into the family thing. I don't necessarily think that's bad - I think it would be bad for people to enter a familial arrangement when they don't want one, and end up deeply unhappy as a result. My opinion.

 

However, I agree with what you say about the family being healthy when based upon synergy. Sadly, it isn't necessarily one I completely got to experience, but I fared much better than most kids. My mother fought extremely hard to make sure my father stayed in my life, so that I might have a masculine presence in my life. She's not a feminist either.

 

We live in a culture which divorce and infidelity are encouraged. Single-motherhood is more encouraged now than talking through problems. Lightning round divorces are de facto. We live in a disposable culture where everything and everyone is disposable. Sandra Tsing Loh wrote a reprehensible article in the The Atlantic called "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" in which she freely files for divorce from her hapless husband.

 

As is the culture of humanity, especially today, nothing happens with moderation - thus circumstances are exacerbated and in some cases celebrated. I have to say though, that sometimes among all the talk about single-motherhood and divorcees, nobody ever actually talks about the legitimate cases of both things. But I suppose that's due to that not being a source of contention. Talking through problems doesn't always eliminate the problem unfortunately, as I have figured out. I prefer the idea of talking through things and working them out. So do most people I know. Sometimes it doesn't work that way. I understand your point about people treating others as disposable, but that seems to be symptomatic in people of both genders rather than just women - it is more apparent in women these days, but I suppose that has more do with the choice. Of course, I expect things to balance out very soon.

 

Masculinity is discouraged and shamed while femininity is seen as the ideal standard. The common misconception is that whatever benefits womankind is beneficial to society as a whole. If women win, everyone wins. That is one of the lies that modern feminism has sold to the masses and they gulped it down like a vitamin supplement, no questions asked.

 

If you look in my thread history, I started 2 particularly controversial threads, one very long one about how men spoke about women. We covered an entire gamut of topics, but what seemed apparent to me was that male sexuality and masculinity in general tends to be viewed under a more barbaric lens than perhaps is what I would consider true masculinity and male sexuality. One has to consider also that femininity varies in each individual woman, and indeed in men also. I believe that no man is completely masculine in energy, and no female is completely feminine naturally in energy. I think that going against your personal natural expression and the energy that resonates within you can result in problems and unhappiness. But that's another topic.....

 

The other lie that feminism has sold to the masses is that women are equal to men. Should women have the same legal and moral rights that men do? Absolutely. Women should have a choice whether to stay at home or pursue a career. Women should have the choice to marry who they choose. Women should have the choice to make informed decisions. To vote. Of course. Still, feminists have told us that women are biologically similar to men. That they can exert the same physicality as men. That they can have casual sex like men. That they can act like men. Biologically, women are different creatures. Not inferior, different. When women try to compete with men rather than complement them, the end result is not good.

 

I agree that competition between the sexes is not good, but I do not see this regularly in my life. Also, regarding women and biology, like I said, I believe there are women who naturally exhibit more masculinity than femininity - vice versa with men. That biodiversity can result in vast differences between the sexes, but will also produce people of both genders who are extremely similar. Nurture will play an important role, as will environment, but in general there are some things in people that are going to vary.

 

I'm getting a bit tangential here but I understand your point - I'm just not sure I identify with it.

 

Feminists want their cake and to eat it too. Like LittleMissLonely stated with the bus example, feminists have told women that they should expect chivalrous actions to be done in the modern era. Chivalry only works when one gender is at a disadvantage socially. When women demand abject equality, they should not expect to have things done for them because they are women. I give up my seat on the bus for pregnant women because it's the right thing to do as a human being, not because she's a woman and is carrying a child. There's a difference. Chivalry in the modern era equates to nothing more than a tryhard masturbatory display of shallow vanity because it means nothing now. When women lament that chivalry is dead, that's why.

 

I am a chivalrous person. However, I do not extend my good deeds towards just women - men and children too. I don't do it for the expectations of others, I do it because I like to, and I also appreciate people who reciprocate.

 

But I have to say that I completely agree with your assessment of how I see chivalry being dished out nowadays. I find nothing wrong with it, but guys can be tryhards about it because they are trying to get in some women's pants. Again, not the case with all chivalrous men, but I've seen it and know what you're talking about.

 

What I want to know is, where does the rabbit hole end? Where does this entitlement stop and true gender equality begin? How many wrecked homes, damaged children, and confused young adults in dating will we have to see until we get the message that modern feminism hasn't worked? First-wave feminism did its job and was an honorable goal. Slut walks, encouragement of divorce, shaming of masculinity... Where does it end?

 

It will likely end when people stop taking sides and look out for the good of the groups and the individuals.

[terlislee]

Can't think of a single reason, hm?

 

It's called parental leave because the man can decide to stay home with the child instead of the woman and receive the same benefits, it's just not as common for them to do that.

[veggirl]

Are you kidding? Every day my mother tells me to strive for better. To never let a man tell me what I can and can't do. She encourages me to be career focused as much as my dad does. Even she acknowledges that her situation sucks.

 

then why did she sign up for that position? and who's to say your mom would be any happier with the alternative? she has never lived the alternative.

 

It seems your argument is material things.

 

Your mom cant buy the purse she wants? Well her and your dad should have some sort of budget and "allowance" for personal "fun" stuff that they are each allowed. if they don't, sorry but poor planning on their part I guess.

 

You are talking about being a "kept" woman basically. Like your mom is kinda sounding like a caged bird at this point. That's not what I'm talking about, at all.

 

I'm not talking about a man says jump and I say how high cause I'm the woman. You are misunderstanding. I am not talking about me sitting quietly while a man tells me "what I can and can't do". but your mom was apparently trying to drill it into your head that you don't need a man, a husband, whatever, you can do it all on your own. Well that's sad....see back to nuclear family. We all need each other in my world, nothing wrong with depending on your husband and him on his wife.

 

 

Depends on the arrangement you have. I'm an entrepreneurial person and all of my partners have been. Our plan was to bring the kids into work (if there's an office) or stay with them at home if the business was run from home. I don't trust babysitters anyway.

Oh okay. Well you are in a VERY SMALL minority that can bring their kids to work or work from home. What would you suggest for "regular" folks.

 

 

 

Sure, it was great having mom at home. I know she loved it and she doesn't want me to move out of the house even now. But I know she has a lot of regrets about leaving her career.

What was your moms career?

 

 

 

The real, honest truth here is that most of what my mom does can be done by a maid. Sorry, but my dad busts his balls every day running his business to bring home an amazing salary that allows them to live a life of luxury while my mom stays home and maintains the house.

 

You apparently grew up rich. You are not the norm. A maid? LOL. Yes your moms HOUSEWORK could be done by a maid but you downplay the importance of having your mom there when you get home from school rather than a MAID or nanny.

 

You didn't really address my main issue - financial independence. If I marry a guy and have children, giving up my career for this, what happens to me if we get divorced?

First of all, I think in my scenario divorce is not that likely. Well not for me personally since I don't put up with most the bulls.hit you see posted about on LS between couples... but also if a man and I agree on our individual roles, we likely share similar morals and values...two things that will be a great help in keeping us together long term. I will not worry about divorce when I marry because I will be married to someone I have a great relationship with. Additionally, I am not worried about divorce because if I have been a homemaker for 20 years, I will get alimony and I will be able to supplement that with a job, like the dreaded secretary job you reference.

 

BOTH husband and wife are most likely going to be living lives of less luxury in divorce, NOT just the homemaker wife.

 

 

He'll be fine. I may not have been in the work force for years so good luck to me in maintaining the same standard of living I was used to.

NEITHER of you will have the same standard of living. Both will have less money and hubby will lose the benefit of a woman taking care of his home

 

Even if we don't get divorced, I don't want to feel guilty about spending money on what I want when I want it. Right now if I have money in my account to buy a Fendi purse and I want a Fendi purse, I will go buy that purse. My mom cannot do that because 'her' money isn't 'hers'

Like I said, your parents have a s.hitty "fun money" arrangement.

 

PS:as far as income in a marriage, if the woman stays home to raise the kids/keep the house up, the 3 bank account thing still def works...majority of $ goes into the household income and then the rest is divided in half between his and hers accounts. That would be...say it with me...EQUAL!!

Edited January 10, 2013 by veggirl

[terlislee]

The main problem I have with modern feminism is its unabashed role in the destruction of the nuclear family unit.

 

There's a variety of sociological reasons behind this. Yes feminism played a part, but was it such a negative one? It only empowered women to feel okay about leaving their husbands when they are treated like crap or cheated on. Before they would just live with it because society expected them to and it would be harder for them as single mothers. Nobody leaves a marriage just because. Also both men and women are more fickle when it comes to relationships nowadays and refusing to put any real effort into working on things so don't blame it on women only.

 

Masculinity is discouraged and shamed while femininity is seen as the ideal standard. The common misconception is that whatever benefits womankind is beneficial to society as a whole. If women win, everyone wins.

 

I'm sorry so it's okay men have been winning all those hundreds of years before now? Nobody wants women to win anything, just provide them with the same priviliges that men have been enjoying since forever. We don't want anything better than what men have, just to have the same choices and opportunities in life that you have and vice versa.

 

Still, feminists have told us that women are biologically similar to men. That they can exert the same physicality as men. That they can have casual sex like men. That they can act like men. Biologically, women are different creatures. Not inferior, different. When women try to compete with men rather than complement them, the end result is not good.

 

So women should complement men and not the other way round? I don't think women are trying to compete with men, truth is we are biologically similar, we are both human, and as long somebody is physically capable (which will be logically linked to their gender) why shouldn't they do something just because men would feel threatened. Where competing is physicality really matters (sports) the genders stay separate. And where exactly do you draw the line between what's acting like men and what's acting like women? So if some men display more "feminine" behaviour it's all wrong too and society's doomed?

 

Most importantly - why can't women have casual sex and men can?

 

I give up my seat on the bus for pregnant women because it's the right thing to do as a human being, not because she's a woman and is carrying a child. There's a difference.

 

Because pregnancy makes you weaker and as you said it's common human courtesy to offer the seat, same with old people, disabled people or just someone who broke his leg. Nobody expects you to do that just because someone's a woman. Other than that, what other acts of chivalry you feel women don't appreciate anymore?

 

What I want to know is, where does the rabbit hole end? Where does this entitlement stop and true gender equality begin? How many wrecked homes, damaged children, and confused young adults in dating will we have to see until we get the message that modern feminism hasn't worked? First-wave feminism did its job and was an honorable goal. Slut walks, encouragement of divorce, shaming of masculinity... Where does it end?

 

So again how are you not equal? How are women entitled?

 

I don't think you know what Slut Walks actually stands for.

 

Feminism doesn't shame masculinity and doesn't encourage divorce either. Hell I have never even considered myself a hardcore feminist and have issues with some of their far-fetched theories and yet I find myself defending them. I'm not some man hater and I have lots of respect for men, I just feel like a few of you guys have some very unjustified double standards.

[Nightsky]

then why did she sign up for that position? and who's to say your mom would be any happier with the alternative? she has never lived the alternative.

 

It seems your argument is material things.

 

Yes the consumerist mentality is her argument. If only her mom had been that CEO of the hot dog stand or never given up her career as a... neurosurgent... not probably gave up her career as a model... she'd be happy. Than she could buy the purse with out asking daddy.

 

You know believe it or not I know of stay at home mom's who manage the money. Yes the bank statements and taxes and BUDGETS yes who gets to buy what falls on them. This girl Zebra does what most LIBERALS and FEMINISTS do and takes their odd personal situation and applies it to EVERYONE in some disgusting centralized manner.

 

Your mom cant buy the purse she wants? Well her and your dad should have some sort of budget and "allowance" for personal "fun" stuff that they are each allowed. if they don't, sorry but poor planning on their part I guess.

 

You are talking about being a "kept" woman basically. Like your mom is kinda sounding like a caged bird at this point. That's not what I'm talking about, at all.

 

Her entire story is full of so many holes. Also she's still at home living in this horrible environment with her father the keeper of women haha. I'm surprised he lets her keep her money earned.

 

I'm not talking about a man says jump and I say how high cause I'm the woman. You are misunderstanding. I am not talking about me sitting quietly while a man tells me "what I can and can't do". but your mom was apparently trying to drill it into your head that you don't need a man' date=' a husband, whatever, you can do it all on your own. Well that's sad....see back to nuclear family. We all need each other in my world, nothing wrong with depending on your husband and him on his wife. [/quote']

 

You know it would be really great to tell veggirl to jump and watch her jump.

 

I don't even believe her mom tried to drill anything into her head... maybe she did, but it was feminist belief that drilled all this crap into her head. It's why I stand by the rule.

 

 

Oh okay. Well you are in a VERY SMALL minority that can bring their kids to work or work from home. What would you suggest for "regular" folks.

 

Yeah another poster here in this thread was like I'm WITH MY CHILDREN 100% of the time WE BOTH WORk FROM HOMe and make LOTS OF MONEY AHAHAHAHA. Yet acts like I'm some foreign backwards baby idiot for saying the things I say.

 

Reminds me of the rich people who want guns ban for private citizens yet have off duty officers and retired Secret Service agents as around the clock armed security...

 

 

 

What was your moms career?

 

Probably government bureaucrat. Teacher....

 

Model/actress.

 

Supreme Court Judge, I do remember that lady a while back who stepped down to be a Stay at home mom.

 

I find it hard to believe the father is still even now stopping this woman from working. Also when her daughter was in HS or even Middle school heck part time would have been easy before even that. She didn't want to work but now complains about some purse.

 

 

 

You apparently grew up rich. You are not the norm. A maid? LOL. Yes your moms HOUSEWORK could be done by a maid but you downplay the importance of having your mom there when you get home from school rather than a MAID or nanny.

 

Yes a nanny could have done all the cooking and cleaning. Heck did her dad even need her mother to have a kid. He could have commissioned a child through a surrogate mother he had inseminated with his sperm. Her mom was just some maid breeding mare. If only she had done something meaningful with her life like work in an office pushing paper or teaching other peoples children about feminism.

 

First of all' date=' I think in my scenario divorce is not that likely. Well not for me personally since I don't put up with most the bulls.hit you see posted about on LS between couples... but also if a man and I agree on our individual roles, we likely share similar morals and values...two things that will be a great help in keeping us together long term. I will not worry about divorce when I marry because I will be married to someone I have a great relationship with. Additionally, I am not worried about divorce because if I have been a homemaker for 20 years, I will get alimony and I will be able to supplement that with a job, like the dreaded secretary job you reference. [/quote']

 

Divorce seems less likely for a woman who isn't a feminist. I give a feminist relationship 10 years tops unless it's completely lesbian.

 

hehe about alimony unlike child support a prenup actually can eliminate alimony lol. Something I'll be putting the contract when I get married.

 

 

 

 

Feminism doesn't shame masculinity and doesn't encourage divorce either. Hell I have never even considered myself a hardcore feminist and have issues with some of their far-fetched theories and yet I find myself defending them. I'm not some man hater and I have lots of respect for men, I just feel like a few of you guys have some very unjustified double standards.

 

Yes and yet you find yourself defending far fetched theories... hmm how about you just drop the feminism title. We both say it sucks and you come over to the side of reason and realize it has helped break apart the nuclear family and lead to hire divorce rates.

 

Oh and yes I do have double standards though they are very justified.

[Charlie Harper]

I find it amusing that I have dated and even married a super feminist and when they are in love they throw all those ideas out the window and melt. Yes I stayed home with my children around 30% of the time and she did the other 70%. I have friends who were even more caveman educated than the OP, and met a super cute woman and changed everything they said were their God Given MAN rights, and melted and became even Home baby Daddys. All it takes is being in love with someone you connect with and all this ideas go out the window.

 

Just look at Ayn Rand, her books and her life, a complete inverse image... But heck what do I know of wonderful inteligent and working woman with my mom who is a retired 70 year old Doctor.. right?

[Charlie Harper]

Ayn Rand was considered a very MANLY woman, and even in her most famous work "atlas Shrugged" the main caracther is a woman. (Dagny Taggardt). She made her REAL life completely different and even became the Other woman and the ditched one in a Long term relationship, and she was famous!!.

 

My point here is that if you meet a woman who despise men no matter what the problem is not feminism, the problem is her attitude and most probably insecurities. But the SAME thing happens to Men, who sell themselves as very MACHO and manly and n the end its their attitude.

 

So back to the original topic, the advice should be NEVER DATE and insecure person who hides it behind feminism or Macho attitude... that I can understand but to say woman or men should stick to a preconceived role is retrograde...not all cases are equal.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I am a feminist. I am also an extremely feminine woman in most of the traditional senses. But, I always knew I was free to not be, if I so chose.

 

The nuclear family needed to be supplemented with alternative family styles to encompass different ways of life. It has not necessarily been "destroyed." It may be becoming obsolete. It remains a viable option for people to choose, and, in my opinion, it's a good thing that there are other options available as well.

[DC4]

I am a feminist. I am also an extremely feminine woman in most of the traditional senses. But, I always knew I was free to not be, if I so chose.

 

The nuclear family needed to be supplemented with alternative family styles to encompass different ways of life. It has not necessarily been "destroyed." It may be becoming obsolete. It remains a viable option for people to choose, and, in my opinion, it's a good thing that there are other options available as well.

 

Just admit it. You detest a happy family. FEMINIST!

[Nightsky]

Just admit it. You detest a happy family. FEMINIST!

 

I don't need her to admit anything I already know her game.

[Drseussgrrl]

I just booked a trip to Europe. I'm going by myself. How TERRIBLY inappropriate!

[Nightsky]

I just booked a trip to Europe. I'm going by myself. How TERRIBLY inappropriate!

 

Doesn't sound to safe... still doesn't take you off list of women the 10 commandments would recommend dating unless you start spouting feminist crap or identify yourself as one insistently even after knowing its a deal breaker. Just doing something like that doesn't take you off the list. If you watch a bunch of porn we'll take you off the list.

 

Do you want me to meet you in Europe or something, because I'm planning on booking a trip for Asia! I want to see Singapore, Japan, and Hong Kong!

[Nyla]

I find it amusing that I have dated and even married a super feminist and when they are in love they throw all those ideas out the window and melt. Yes I stayed home with my children around 30% of the time and she did the other 70%. I have friends who were even more caveman educated than the OP, and met a super cute woman and changed everything they said were their God Given MAN rights, and melted and became even Home baby Daddys. All it takes is being in love with someone you connect with and all this ideas go out the window.

 

Just look at Ayn Rand, her books and her life, a complete inverse image... But heck what do I know of wonderful inteligent and working woman with my mom who is a retired 70 year old Doctor.. right?

 

Very true! Even Gloria Steinem got married and she was the one who came up with the "fish needs a bicycle" nonsense.

 

I was raging feminist before I met my husband. I swore I would never cook or clean for a man, marry or take a man's last name. These beliefs came from growing up in a sexist home and being manipulated by older men. That was when I was 23.

 

Fast forward seven years and I have married a wonderful man. I would do anything for him because my husband treats me like a princess. I was proud to take his name and become a part of his family. My husband gently helped me with my trust issues.

 

We all need each other. Men who say that they don't need women are selfish and immature.

[Treasa]

Doesn't sound to safe... still doesn't take you off list of women the 10 commandments would recommend dating unless you start spouting feminist crap or identify yourself as one insistently even after knowing its a deal breaker. Just doing something like that doesn't take you off the list. If you watch a bunch of porn we'll take you off the list.

 

Do you want me to meet you in Europe or something, because I'm planning on booking a trip for Asia! I want to see Singapore, Japan, and Hong Kong!

 

This is the funniest post I've seen all day. I'm dying here.

 

Nightsky is kinda starting to grow on me. In a weird way. Like a tumor.

[Nightsky]

It's time to revise the list again as I've come up with new needed categories. Also I'd like to add a new introduction to the list.

 

Changes from original version will be bolded and detailed in italics. The very newest changes I'm making from the last changes I made will be in underlines.

 

Thank you once again to the people who have added to this discussion in a positive way and helped me refine my opinions. I hope this advice continues to help those who need and have thanked me through PM's. Also to the young men challenging me please strongly consider the things I've written here, its especially in your favor if you even ever considered having a family.

 

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF DATING FOR MEN BY MEN

 

These 10 Commandments are meant as a guide clean dating that will lead to a fruitful long relationship where with effort and the right match you can build a loving and happy family. Pay no attention to the angry women who try to argue the list. Pay special attention to women who fit the list. With out further adieu here are the 10 commandments of dating for men.

 

Got rid of the don't date a girl who makes you shave/wax and condensed it into this one under man hating10.) Don't date feminists. This means don't date a woman who truelly buys into complete equality between men and women. As in a woman who thinks their is no difference between boys and girls other than social constructs made up by the patriarchy. Also be inclined toward women who support the patriarchy. I'm not saying don't date a woman who believes in the right to vote or a right to respect... I'm saying stay away from true feminists feminists. Some women who associate with feminism do so wrongly so if a woman is willing to listen to reason don't count her out till she has shown she is man hating. Also even if a woman claims not to be part of any political or philisophical ideal but hates men don't date her. This isn't something that you need to fix or should put up with. Hating men would include wanting a man to be less manly ie making him shave or was his body or face.

 

9.) Don't date a nag. It may seem cute in the begining but it will get old quick. Do not date a woman who is going to try to change you in any way. I'm not talking about a girl who says don't fart near me or something like that. More the woman who just talks ****ty about the way you eat or your friends or things like that. Seems obvious but watch out for this.

 

8.) Don't date a girl who enjoys porn. Seems fun right a girl who looks at porn. Wrong stay away from this kind of girl. Probably a feminist but its got its own category.

 

*** New category7.) Be mindful of where you meet a girl. Nothing is inherently wrong with meeting a girl in a bar but you are likely to meet a lesser quality of person depending on the location. Girls are on a much higher guard in places like a bar and even if she is a nice girl it can taint the meeting to have it in a bar. She may reject you outright when she would have gladly talked to you if you had met her say at a friends party or the library. Also even if she gives you her number she'll be less excited about the guy she met in a hook up environment like the bar. Also as a man you need to be very very wary of online dating. Understand the reality that it brings the advantage to the woman. She gets hundreds (or at least many) people showing interest and asking her out. While you as the man using online dating have to go around sending lots of messages and being ignored. Also this is just for the opportunity to meet a girl who may or may not be attractive in person. It wastes time and it's a impersonal way of meeting people. Your quality of women you meet will probably also be down. Obviously you can meet some one perfect online or at a bar but I highly recommend not relying on these sources or even using them at all. Instead make your social circle or real places like the park, an event what ever a place to meet women.

 

added in the all important girl who can cook or clean6.) This seems obvious but date a girl who wants to please her man. This includes sex! This means she wants to give it to you regularly as a priority. Understands men need it regularly and not to with hold it. Also be able to do things like cook or clean. Also this isn't about getting something for nothing. I believe in equivalent exchange. That means if she's making you happy you should be making her happy.She should be able to cook edible food it doesn't matter if she's a master chef. We're talking about a girl who can make you a salad or cook you some meat, vegetables, and potatoes. As for the cleaning she should have an understanding of clutter. Not be the type of girl who just throws things all over the floor. She should know how to clean clothes. She should be able to vacuum, mop, and scrub a tub till it's clean.

 

I feel the need to add some stuff about age here with concerns to sexyness5.) Date a girl you find sexy. Seems obvious but some people need to hear this. You are not a pedophile for being attracted to young women. Let the law of attraction and the laws of your jurisdiction be your guide. If you're 30 and you find a 17 year old sexy and that's fine. No need to apply some feminist 5 year gap or what ever they would tell you. Obviously sexy is only one thing and she very well might be annoying and immature so you will lose attraction

 

4.) Date a girl you find cute. I'll add this separate from sexy. Sexy meaning you want to have sex with her. Cute meaning you find the way she acts and is to be charming. As a man you know you can find a total bitch sexy and want to spank her and fck her and all that. It doesn't mean you find her cute... as in charming. If you date her you need to find her cute as well as sexy.

 

3.) Really all this stuff is so obvious I feel like doctor Phil here... I guess this won't stop people from arguing with me like they do with him though but... HUMOR... This doesn't mean she has to be funny but that can be good too. But you want to share a sense of humor. Find the same things funny. Most importantly she needs to find you funny! Or atleast act that way lol. Obviously man humor won't always be funny to women but when you want to make her laugh or when you want to share a laugh you need to be able too.

 

2)Trust. This has to be some one you feel you can build trust with. You know hold your secrets... not cheat on you at a minimum type of thing. Make sure she's a woman with proper boundaries. If she's your gf sh shouldn't be obsessing over an ex or have some male friend she goes on date like activities with such as drinking or watching movies, or hanging out at his place. No alone time with other guys or thinking about them in a way that will get you jealous. If she seems like a cheater listen to yourself. Don't put up with drama for the sake of drama.

 

1) In shape. She should be in some kind of shape. I mean I don't need to date an athlete... but I'm not going to date some fat chick. I put this separate from sexy for reasons that should be obvious. I think a fat chick can be pretty... but I want some one who respects their body to at least the minimal degree of not being fat. Also for the most part I wouldn't be attracted to some one who is fat.

[Treasa]

Out of curiosity, who are the other men in this tribunal?

[Nightsky]

Out of curiosity, who are the other men in this tribunal?

 

There is no tribunal. Some of the stuff I changed was from posts in this thread. I put it through my filter by thinking about it than editing the list.

[Treasa]

There is no tribunal. Some of the stuff I changed was from posts in this thread. I put it through my filter by thinking about it than editing the list.

 

Right, but earlier you kept saying "we" when referring to who you'd keep on the list.