Sheba Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 My boyfriend and I are both over 40 and we work together in a small office. Over the past few months, I have noticed that he has become very friendly with a co-worker of ours, who is very beautiful. First, I noticed he always sat next to her in the lunch room. Then, I noticed that he often stood very near her and had a huge happy grin and laughed often while they chatted. One day, he decided to help her and another woman clean out the copy room. I was surprised, because he had other work to do. When I went in the copy room to get something, I found my boyfriend and the woman in question working together in a corner of the room, standing so extremely near they were almost touching. I told my boyfriend I felt he had a crush on this woman and he assured me he did not. He said she was his friend and he liked her, but not in the way I imagine. He says he likes her boyfriend, and that he would not carry on a flirtation. I can't help but feel he is not being honest. I think he is faithful, but is carrying on a flirtation, and I think the things I have witnessed are signs of an attraction, that may or may not be mutual. To make matters worse, my relationship with my boyfriend began as co-workers. This problem causes me a great deal of sorrow and grief. My feelings upset my boyfriend and he becomes angry, saying I have no basis to feel the way I do. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 This problem causes me a great deal of sorrow and grief. My feelings upset my boyfriend and he becomes angry, saying I have no basis to feel the The fact that you are "upsetting" your bf because of his actions tells me that he is trying to defend himself. Think about what you would do, if you were accused of doing something and you actually were not doing it, would you be angry or plainly telling him your not doing it? If you were doing it, and you were accused, would you act more angry? I would talk to the girl if I were you, let her know you're watching and she is getting too close to your bf. This may make your bf upset though. I don't know what really to tell you, but I would keep a closer eye for awhile if I were you. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sheba Posted August 19, 2004 Author Share Posted August 19, 2004 Thank you for your reply, Supermom. I agree: his anger makes me more convinced I have something to fear. I cannot risk speaking with the other woman, as the office is very small and any conversation of this sort would quickly become the topic of conversation and cause difficulties in my relationships with many or all of the others in the office. My boyfriend says he feels "she" has noticed my concern, because she has become less friendly to him. It may be that she has noticed, or it could be that she just became uncomfortable with the "closeness" of the relationship herself. I like this woman too, and she likes me. Link to post Share on other sites
Jaquio Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Simple, NEVER, EVER Date on the job This is why, and now he can't escape it, you probably follow him around all day trying to catch him? If he isn't cheating he will be soon, if that is what you are doing. Too close for comfort. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sheba Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 Thank you for your reply. We are not simply "dating", we live together, so your advice comes a little late! I do not have time to follow him around, certainly, as I actually need to work, but I understand the point you are trying to make. Link to post Share on other sites
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