Sun Devil Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 For anyone who does not know, I am 23 years old and never had any experience with girls. I never even kissed. I have beeen told to not look for girls and that they will come to you, but that did not work after several years. I have been improving myself and doing hobbies to keep me happy, but seeing all my friends hook up with girls is not helping. I have not found a substitute for a relationship. I still have the feeling that I will never be able to get a girl for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Dont' listen to the "You have to be happy by yourself in order to find someone" BS. Most people can't be alone and would date to ease their pain instead of facing their pain and being alone until they're ready to get back out there. I've been alone my entire life. I made it to 29 being pretty happy even though I have never had a girlfriend. So I guess you could say I was happy alone. It sure didn't help me get a GF though! Now I'm not happy becasue I want a girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Having walked your path, and being a generation-plus older, I'll opine in everything there is balance and the work is feeling positive about the balance that exists. When I was your age (early-mid 20's) most of my friends were already married and had young children. Reflecting upon that era, feelings of 'missing out' revolved mostly around wanting what I didn't have. In reality, I had plenty; great friendships, a successful business and the freedom to travel and experience the world without concern. The work was learning to value the positives. Later, having LTR's and getting married, I'd experience those parts of life. Now, today, alone again, I'm happy that all of it happened when it did and as it did. Achievements, failures, loves, losses, life and death. Perhaps that's the true success. Good luck in your journey. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mycteria Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 How many times per week do you go out and approach women? What do you look like? Are you in shape? What are your hobbies? Profession? Link to post Share on other sites
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Being single sucks... It is NOTHING to be happy about I'm telling you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Let me as the OP a question. Is is that you haven't had a GF yet or that you don't have one now? If it's because you haven't had a GF yet then I think I know how you feel. You wonder what's so wrong with you that this hasn't happened to you yet. By 23 you've seen all sorts of guys with all sorts of girls even some very unlikely couples. So what's so different about you? That's what has to hurt. You are not the only one that has felt that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Being in a happy relationship is great but at least you don't have a drama filled miserable relationship. Being single is better than that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Being in a happy relationship is great but at least you don't have a drama filled miserable relationship. Being single is better than that. Is it worse than having a drama filled miserable single life? (Because the other people in a "single" persons life bring that drama...people it's hard to get rid of.) Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Meh, I'm single and happy. I was happy before I got laid, and after. Wanna know my secret? I don't take any of it so seriously. SunDevil, your problem is that all you can think about is getting a GF. You've got SDS (Some Dude Syndrome). It's going to be difficult to cure that to be honest, especially since you seem to be actually doing hobbies and stuff and trying to get on with life and it's troubling you. Obviously, it doesn't help that you are as short as you are. However, as much as this sucks, you have to be brave. And you have to not take dating too seriously. Be bold with girls. Say what you think, try to learn to be charming. Don't hold back. Once you head towards the other extreme, you will find your way towards a medium, a mode of communicating with women that suits you most. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sun Devil Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 I talk to at least one girl every weekday. Weekends are reserved for my hobbies or homework. There are days in which I talk to several girls. If the conversation goes well and I get her number, then i will try to ask her out. Last semester, i got 30 rejections and 0 dates. I meet girls on campus. There are hardly any girls in my social circle and they are all taken. I am left with cold approaches. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 For anyone who does not know, I am 23 years old and never had any experience with girls. I never even kissed. I have beeen told to not look for girls and that they will come to you, but that did not work after several years. Well. If you don't aggressively pursue, you will be single for the rest of your life, that is for sure. Just keep trying and keep your head up. There's other guys here in the same boat but much older. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I talk to at least one girl every weekday. Weekends are reserved for my hobbies or homework. There are days in which I talk to several girls. If the conversation goes well and I get her number, then i will try to ask her out. Last semester, i got 30 rejections and 0 dates. I meet girls on campus. There are hardly any girls in my social circle and they are all taken. I am left with cold approaches. I'm thinking I'm going to open a business for LS guys to get them dates. I'll revamp their profile, ghost write a few emails to girls and get them dates. I mean it's not that hard guys, you must be doing something wrong! Hard is keeping a relationship! Seriously, we should have a column within Dating for guys to post a link to their profile so we can help them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sun Devil Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 I know that there are older guys in my position. What I want to know is why they are in that position so that I do not repeat their mistakes. Is it a physical trait that cannot be fixed such as height, or is it something that can be fixed like personality? I really want to know Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I'm thinking I'm going to open a business for LS guys to get them dates. I'll revamp their profile, ghost write a few emails to girls and get them dates. I mean it's not that hard guys, you must be doing something wrong! Hard is keeping a relationship! Seriously, we should have a column within Dating for guys to post a link to their profile so we can help them. Or. The women of LS could solve the problem themselves in one fell swoop! Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I'm thinking I'm going to open a business for LS guys to get them dates. I'll revamp their profile, ghost write a few emails to girls and get them dates. I mean it's not that hard guys, you must be doing something wrong! Hard is keeping a relationship! Seriously, we should have a column within Dating for guys to post a link to their profile so we can help them. That's actually a decent idea. Eventually I'll have to start online dating and I don't have a clue how to sell myself. Or. The women of LS could solve the problem themselves in one fell swoop! Teach a man to fish... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I'm thinking I'm going to open a business for LS guys to get them dates. I'll revamp their profile, ghost write a few emails to girls and get them dates. I mean it's not that hard guys, you must be doing something wrong! Hard is keeping a relationship! Seriously, we should have a column within Dating for guys to post a link to their profile so we can help them. Before you do this take a picture of an average to slightly goofy looking guy you know. Use him to set up a false online dating profile and try online dating as a man. It is very different, mostly for reasons of gender roles. When I online date. I sit back and let men approach me while I approach women. I don't belive in this thought process but most people hold to that. You'll soon see what men deal with. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I'm thinking I'm going to open a business for LS guys to get them dates. I'll revamp their profile, ghost write a few emails to girls and get them dates. I mean it's not that hard guys, you must be doing something wrong! Hard is keeping a relationship! Seriously, we should have a column within Dating for guys to post a link to their profile so we can help them. Hahahahaha!!!!!!! Take it from me, you'd do better to become an MD and then open up an institute where you could raise female clones for these guys to adopt. FYI I've been writing a "romance" novel about that for a couple of months on and off. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Hmmm okay... I can see how difficult it may be. But I have a feeling I could save a few guys if I helped them with their profile and how to flirt with girls through initial messages Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Hmmm okay... I can see how difficult it may be. But I have a feeling I could save a few guys if I helped them with their profile and how to flirt with girls through initial messages Help them manage their money so they'll be able to spend $7K on their very own Realdoll. Then the real women will be rid of these guys for good. I'd buy a Realdoll myself, but the company won't make one that's 6'3"... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sun Devil Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 Barnacle Bob, my biggest physical flaw is my height. I am only 5 feet tall. I am 125 lbs, and a lot of it is muscle. I am removing extra fat and building more muscle to have a toned body. I have been described as easy to get along with, but I have a mild case of aspergers, which makes connecting with people somewhat difficult Link to post Share on other sites
Necris Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 If you are reserving your weekends for your hobbies and homework, you're making life very tough for yourself. In college, weekends are when the magic happens. Parties, the bar, general tomfoolery. Get out there. You're in college, man! Wait....how are you asking these girls out? You have so many angles to work. Girls in college love to party and go to the bar and get smashed and make terrible decisions. So, help them do that. Girls in your classes love to have study partners. Go study with a girl. You'll probably end up making out at the very least. Damn, I had so many study sessions in college go awry like that. Go study with some babes, man. Quit blowing your weekends farting around with your model airplanes and go out and get a girl to shove her tongue down your throat.....its way more fun. Trust me. That could be difficult for the OP, not everyone is into the club, party and bar scene and from what I've heard those are terrible places to pick up women anyway, especially if you aren't the partying type of guy. As for trying to date through study partners I did the study partner thing in college and no I never made out with anyone. Most people willing to get in study groups and such are there to learn and succeed in the class the last thing they are probably thinking about is making out. As for OP's loneliness, I'm not certain but joining a club, or just forgetting about the whole dating, sex thing is probably the best solution. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Barnacle Bob, my biggest physical flaw is my height. I am only 5 feet tall. I am 125 lbs, and a lot of it is muscle. I am removing extra fat and building more muscle to have a toned body. I have been described as easy to get along with, but I have a mild case of aspergers, which makes connecting with people somewhat difficult What ethnicity are you and what ethnicities do you like? Link to post Share on other sites
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 It's not a huge deal that you aren't that tall if you're confident who cares Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sun Devil Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 I am half asian and half caucasian. Some people have describes me as sort of hispanic looking. I have no strong preference for girls of a particular race, but I do have a smal thing for european girls. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I am half asian and half caucasian. Some people have describes me as sort of hispanic looking. I have no strong preference for girls of a particular race, but I do have a smal thing for european girls. I don't know where you live but Mexican women are most likely to date dudes your height. They are often in high 4 foot themselves, so you'd have a few inches on them. Actually, I assume you live in Arizona and go to Arizona State, so there are definitely Mexicans there. White women will probably be extremely tough. Link to post Share on other sites
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