I love him, but we live together?!

[kitkat211]

Hi everyone.

Back in September, I moved into a shared house with three other people. Two of them I didn't know before, but there had always been chemistry between me and this other person. This other person and I have been close ever since we met. I can say that I've known him for about 6 months now, and seen him every day of those six months.

He wanted a relationship with me at the start. We went on lots of dates and we were pretty much a couple but one night we got into a drunken fight which changed everything. I went on holiday and when I came back he didn't want to know.

We have been 'friends' since then, we've spent every night together, and cuddled and slept together, as he lives in the room just next to mine.

Just over a month ago I told him my true feelings. I said that I could'nt hold them back any more and that the reason I hadnt made room for anyone else was becuase no one compared to him and that I wanted to be with him, bascially.

I was drunk and crying when I sent the text...and read the reply from him saying that he could'nt give me what I wanted and that he didn't know what else to say. I apologized instantly and said i hoped i had made things too awkward between us.

When I got back after Christmas, it wasn't awkward at all. We continued to spend time together, and sleep together, and I could sense that he was starting to be himself around me. We did new things together. He'd text me all the time, and I genuinely felt (call me sad) that he'd realised how much he liked me, and that if we kept spending more time together, or that if i played slightly hard to get, he would want to be with me again.

The last few days, he has been ignoring me, and I've over-heard him talking (quite loudly too) about a girl that he's been on several dates with and that he met for a coffee. He is also meeting her tonight for another date.

When I heard this, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I have been crying all night and I can't seem to think about anything else! I literally do not know what to do. I'm so upset that he's chosen her over me, and if things progress between them, I literally do not know what I will do. All i want is for him to be happy, and i'm sure that she is lovely, but I can't help thinking that it should be me and him. He has become my best friend, my closest companion, but there is nothing that I can do. I can only watch as he gets closer to her.

I see him every day, I hear him in the room next to me, everything is a constant reminder of when we were together...and it hurts so much.

I don't think I can be friends with him when he's seeing other girls, yet we live in the same house. I've begun acting completely unlike myself for the last few months, its as if all of my actions have revolved around him, and I'm concerned for myself. I don't think talking to him would help as he already knows how I feel about him. The only other thing that I can think of would be to move out. But surely that's just running away from the situation? I just feel so confused right now, and any advice would be appreciated

[GB500]

Surely this is an insanely hard situation. I cannot begin to imagine how sad and heart-broken you must feel. Since he already knows how you feel about him, there is nothing more that you could say to him. All you could do now is to focus on yourself and making yourself feel better. From my experience, the only way to get over someone is to stop talking, texting, and seeing them. It will hurt so much at the beginning but after awhile you will start to forget about him. Right now since you live together and as you said there is a constant reminder of him everywhere, you won't be able to move on. You will need to move out and make yourself very busy so that you don't think about him. After sometime, you should start dating other people. Probably only when you start liking someone else, you will completely get over him. So sorry you are going through this. You will survive it.

 

There is always the possibility that when you move on and if this relationship with this new girl does not work out, He will come crawling back to you.