1sucker Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 short story long... it's your basic story of boy meets girl and starts to have feelings for her. everything seemed to be headed towards the right direction of us getting together but when i told her about my feelings, out of nowhere, she gave me the good ol' "friends" line. basically, she led me on and she didn't even know it. we weren't really bestest of friends to begin with so i thought why not give it a shot before i fall into the friendzone. we met at work. realized we had a mutual friend. that's what started our conversations. that led to lunches here and there and then we exchanged numbers, screennames, and started to hang out on the weekends once in a while. it came to a point where we'd talk on the phone everyday and im at work everyday. whoa, i'm did too much right? no. i never called her or initiated conversations. she was the one always calling me. i couldn't ignore the calls because they'd usually be right after work and she knows i'd be in traffic. she'd call me to tell me she's out and would call me when she was back in as if she were checking in with me, like a gf would do. so, one would assume there was something going on. it's not like i don't know what to do with girls. what did i do. i asked her out. movies. dinner. flowers. candy. and the night i opened up to her. i told her i thought i was being obvious about my feelings for her. even her friends mentioned me maybe liking her. she tells me "oh, i thought you were just being nice." nice? omg. so here i am. i'm done with this one. but wait. there's more. so i figure that's it. no more talking with her. but heck, two days of nothing and she's back on my ass. on the phone and on the computer. coming to my office at work. so i'm trying to keep my chin up. show her that the rejection bothered me. i know i have to be a man and move on. but she keeps throwing these mixed signals. telling me she likes my style, that we click so well, she wants to travel with me and she's calling me even more then before. i think the whole fact that i'm distancing myself is driving her more into being with me but dammit she said no already so i can't make a move since we're "just friends" and since she's so naive, she probably doesn't think she's leading me on again. but maybe, just maybe, she may have started to have feelings for me. i know the obvious suggestion is to move on and forget about her but easier said than done. i feel like there's still a chance. small, but still a chance. any suggestions of what i can do to find out if she has feelings for me besides having a "talk" with her considering we're "just friends." i still have some pride left. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 My vote is that she thinks you're a cool person and she enjoys your company but you'd have to get her very drunk and put a bag on your head before she sleeps with you. Get over it, she isn't sexually attracted to you. Typical dumbass male thinks that DOING nice things for a friend means she has to put out for you. Grow up. She's not naive. She knows you're attracted to her. She just doesn't want to f*ck you. I imagine she wishes you were a gay man so she could enjoy your company without your ulterior motives. That being said. TELL her you don't want to be a "girlfriend" and to not flipping call you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
EIN Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 very good point mr.spock but if you can put up with going on social outing with no strings attached, go for it. If not, its time to look for a new match. And if you cant put up with her calling you and in a way enticing you, talk to her or give her this book "21st Century Modern Etiquette" by Charlotte Ford. That should send the message. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Yeah, or you could just say "Stop f*cking calling me" and save yourself the price of a book. Link to post Share on other sites
EIN Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 stop f*cking calling me is a good approach if you want to end whatever relationship you have with her and considering they both work in the same place it would be unethical and could lead to a reprimand from a supervisor. Going with the book is a good etiquette approach and it only costs 8 dollars. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 if i were you, i'd be very direct with her - either she dates you, or she has to stop contacting you. you can tell her that you like her as a woman, and pretending to be friends w/ her wd be dishonest. so if friendship is all she wants, she better get away from you. btw, how old is she? and you? good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 How is telling someone to f off unethical? If she's calling him on his cell after work, it's kind of hard to be reprimanded for that. Just don't answer the phone if you feel she's leading you on. But honestly, assuming that someone wants to start dating you because they call you and enjoy your company is assuming a lot. If you feel taken advantage of, do something about it. Like what yes said. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused1 Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 I have to disagree with everyone. I'm one of those dumb girls that thought my co-worker was just being nice but had I known earlier maybe he wouldn't have left... Give her some time to think and then arrange to meet her somewhere private that you can talk. If she doesn't want to be more then friends then tell her your feelings would get in the way of friendship and break it off. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts