Confusedinlove134 Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 Well I have had 3 serious boyfriends including my current one and I can't help but notice a certain pattern even with my current boyfriend. Every single time I have dated and made a boy my boyfriend there is a girl after him that likes him. I know that when boys are taken they become more desirable I have read and this makes it hard for me to enjoy my relationship because I have to worry about other girls who like my boyfriend. I wish that I didn't have that problem because my past relationships have had a huge problem with that because I at least like to tell my boyfriend how it makes me feel that a girl is trying to get with him when he's already with me not to mention they are tempted to cheat. I have already been cheated on once and I have tried two more times but I'm tired of the same problem every time and wouldn't try ever again and stay single even though I don't want to because I can't take it. If I'm in a relationship I want to enjoy it instead of worrying about it. So any advice or views on this I would really appreciate to talk this out with someone. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 This is why it's so important to only be with people of the highest integrity. If you have no doubt about your boyfriend's integrity then you don't need to worry about who else may find him attractive. The only other options are a) be with someone that nobody else would want, or b) live with constant fear that he will cheat (or leave) when the opportunity arises, which it surely will. Men have it even worse. If we're with an attractive woman, it's a given that other men will be hitting on her all the time. The only way to have any peace of mind is to trust her. If you don't then it's best to not get involved to begin with because it will be nerve wracking in the short term and painful in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedinlove134 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Share Posted January 9, 2013 I think your right but I can't really control if I'm attracted to attractive men and that they actually like me back enough to get in a relationship. I see that I would have to date ugly men but I don't want to because I would have no attraction to begin with to get interested. It's really hard for me to trust because I have been betrayed before but I guess that's all I can do. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 I think your right but I can't really control if I'm attracted to attractive men and that they actually like me back enough to get in a relationship. Woooaaaah! You aren't hearing me. You absolutely do have control over with whom you choose to be in a relationship. Yes, everyone naturally wants a partner who is attractive, but not everyone who is attractive and shows interest in you should be considered. You have to use your people picker and be selective. We're all looking for a needle in a haystack, not just anyone who is attractive and hits on us! If you want to be happy in this life, elevate integrity to the first priority and put attractive second or below. It's really hard for me to trust because I have been betrayed before but I guess that's all I can do. No, that's not all you can do. First, do not allow yourself to become attached except to people who are proven to be trustworthy. It takes some time to understand whether someone is or is not, so don't dive in until you're reasonably certain. Integrity is constant within an individual, a personality characteristic, not dependent upon circumstances. Integrity means doing the right thing simply because it's right, not because you're afraid of consequences. Figure this out before you hop in the sack or become attached. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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