drifter777 Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) You may be able to fix "you" on your own, but you cannot fix the damage you have done to your relationship and the pain you have caused your fiance by yourself. Your fiance has to want to reconcile and give you a chance to prove you are remorseful and willing to do anything to repair the damage your cheating has caused. Counseling would be a good start if you can convince him to try it. I know that this is difficult for you financially, but maybe you can find something that will help. Check out some local churches and don't be afraid to ask a counselor for a reduced fee. I have to ask; are you both still planning to go through with the wedding? Edited January 18, 2013 by drifter777 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gapeach0813 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 we havent talked about getting married for a while we've been engaged since 2007 and together since 03, so thats not the issue at hand here Link to post Share on other sites
Author gapeach0813 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 and thank you i'll definitely check into the local churches and see if there are some reduced fee counseling available in my area. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gapeach0813 Posted July 28, 2013 Author Share Posted July 28, 2013 ok havent been on here in a while, so here's the deal..yeah i cheated on my fiance over a year ago and we went through a terrible rough patch but things got better and now we're doing great, come to find out he got revenge and told me about one night after we had been drinking, I don't blame him for getting revenge cuz I probably would have done the same. I guess my question for you guys is can this make our relationship stronger now that all the bs is behind us? Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 I guess my question for you guys is can this make our relationship stronger now that all the bs is behind us?LOL no...cheating on your fiance and then a revenge affair by your fiance generally don't make a relationship "stronger" What it might do is help your fiance to get the anger out of his system. I suppose a revenge affair sooner rathern than later is better in that regard. Link to post Share on other sites
eddyctv Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Do him a favor and break up with him. He's too much of a pushover to do it himself. I had a girlfriend that cheated on me and admitted to it, but by that point my self esteem was so shot that i couldnt even break up with her. Eventually i got my esteem back and kicked her to the curb. Eventually he will dump you - if he's smart. Save him the aggravation and just do it yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 ok havent been on here in a while, so here's the deal..yeah i cheated on my fiance over a year ago and we went through a terrible rough patch but things got better and now we're doing great, come to find out he got revenge and told me about one night after we had been drinking, I don't blame him for getting revenge cuz I probably would have done the same. I guess my question for you guys is can this make our relationship stronger now that all the bs is behind us? No, although you both may be able to delude yourself into thinking it has. The reaction of your fiance to your initial reaction when he found out about your cheating should be enough to tell you that a revenge affair is not going to resolve his hurt and anger. He is probably suffering from mind-movies of you screwing the OM to some extent now and every time you go out with the gals or are late or whatever it is going to trigger them all over again. It will take years for you to regain his trust, and it will never again be unconditional. I hope you don't go through with the wedding for both of your sakes, not to mention any children you bring into the world before this thing blows up again. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 31, 2013 Share Posted July 31, 2013 Neither one of you will ever forget the cheating. It will always be the big white elephant in the room unless you deal with it. His one night stand doesn't neutralize your multiple hook ups with Other Man, you allowed yourself the approval to cheat on your fiancé even after you made up, why? He cheated out of revenge and anger for your dishonesty, you are both so wrong. Were it not for the fact you have children together I would tell you both to walk from this relationship, your both dishonest. Honesty is a choice. If your on a strict budget get help through other sources like your church or other Government help agencies, (some employers offer services through their benefits packages) check your local phone directory or just Google it. Doing nothing is the worst thing you can do because the basic reasons that allowed you to cheat in the first place are still there and the chances that you'll do it again are very high. Link to post Share on other sites
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