Should I tell my GF that I knocked up another woman?

[melodymatters]

Ok, two pages where the girlfriend is not mentioned by the OP, but the FWB whom to paraphrase, could "Have just told him she was game and had him any time she wanted" feelings and character are defended.

 

I think you have your answer OP. Just please be kind enough and let your intelligent, young, her life is ahead of her, GF know that you will always be beholden to two other people, and that she should move on for her best interests and have fun with your BFF/FWB/Baby Mamma/Your Parents New Best Friend....

 

 

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[Balzac]

I am concerned about her. Like I said we have known each other for 20 years. We were best friends for the last 10 years. So I do care about her (non-romantically of course). I don't want the kid so abortion would be preferable but I also don't want her to be hurt by it. Same with adoption. With her keeping it, I wouldn't want to be around her but I don't want to lose her as a friend. Its hard to deal with.

 

We don't talk much right now but we have been talking. Right now I'm having to initiate conversation because she won't. She wants to but doesn't. I text her to see how she is and if she's decided on anything. We met for coffee once this week to talk.

 

You are doing all that you can. Rehashing the facts serves no useful purpose. Your mind is decided. She's running out the clock until crunch time. That is a decision in itself. Then it's next option. Hang onto your calm demeanor.

[BetheButterfly]

Not sure if I should post my age but I'm 25 (as is everyone else involved).

 

A few weeks ago I was sleeping with a friend of mine for year. We haven't slept together for 8 weeks but 6 days ago she told me that she thought she was pregnant. I went with her to the doctor for the pregnancy test and yes, pregnant. She doesn't want us to be together or anything but she does want to have to kid and me to be involved in the kids life.

 

I'm confused. A few weeks ago you were sleeping with her but haven't slept together for 8 weeks... ?

 

I completely understand your friend. I would love to have children and am so looking forward to being a Mommy!!!!

 

Not only do I not want a kid, I have a GF. Since my GF and I became exclusive I haven't slept with my friend.

How long has your girlfriend been your girlfriend? 8 weeks? or 2 weeks?

 

But I don't want to tell her that I knocked up another girl.

Why?

 

I'm trying to convince (not the right word but all I can think of) my friend that she should abort or adopt.

Sadly, many girls under 18 and women are pressured (convinced) into getting abortions.

 

I don't want a kid whatsoever. I've never wanted them, even later in life

Then please get neutered!!!! (by a procedure called a vasectomy - for human males)

 

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If she kept it, I wouldn't have a part of the childs life (other than a paycheck if she made me).

That's really sad. Did your Dad abandon you?

 

So do I really have to tell my GF I got someone pregnant?

It would be honest for you to tell her, as well as tell her that you don't ever want to have a kid and if you ever accidentally knock her up, you could care less about the child and not love the child.

 

Should I just wait until the kid is born so we have a stronger relationship?

No.

 

Maybe tell her that I didn't know until then? If my friend decides to give it up for adoption or abort, then telling my GF would be useless, right? No idea what I'm doing here.

You need to talk to your girlfriend your desire to not ever have kids and you also need to get neutered. Seriously. That way, you won't have to worry about this ever happening again.

 

I feel really sorry for your friend. As far as I know, I have never been pregnant. I've never known the joy of having a little human life growing inside of me. Hopefully, my husband and I will get pregnant soon!!!

 

When I find out that I'm pregnant, I know I'm going to be so excited!!! I'm going to be so happy telling my husband that I am pregnant with his baby... I have already planned it out how I'd like to do so - with a candlelight homemade dinner.

 

It makes me so sad that this precious woman, your friend, this lady who is merely following Mother Nature by being a Mother too is losing out in having your support and is actually being encouraged by you to kill her offspring in her womb.

 

I'm going to copy your thread and your posts and talk about it to girls that I mentor, because it is very important for them to realize how even sex with condoms can make their first pregnancy be a source of pain for them, when they realize the daddy doesn't care about the little human life he helped "create."

The first stages of human life (embyro and fetus) are naturally imperative to survive before arriving at childhood outside the womb and adulthood. It is sad that humans abort their young... it reminds me a bit of how male polar bears and male wildcats sometimes kill the young (who are already born) of their own species.

 

Anyways, I really hope that this lady does not suffer anymore from you. I personally think you have done enough damage by not making her pregnancy (first one?) to be a beautiful and delightful experience for her, where she feels loved and supported in her desire to have this baby. Many animals are raised only by their moms. Humans are however one of the species where dads help moms raise their offspring, and I think that's a beautiful thing about humans.

 

My hubby who is hopefully going to be the wonderful father for our children will be home very soon, and I'm going to get ready to enjoy the weekend with him!!! I hope that someday, this friend of yours will have a wonderful boyfriend/husband who loves her so much and who supports her desire to have a child or children and is a great dad!!!