forgiveandforget Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 After two long years, I ended things with my MM today. I knew we were supposed to hang out this morning and breaking things off was never my intention. Something hit me while I was with him. I suddenly realized what everyone had been telling me all along. That no matter how real or genuine this feels now, it will NEVER be more than this. I believed on so many different occasions that my situation was different. I just knew deep down that one day, if I was patient enough, he would choose me. How oblivious to reality can someone be? I know this is for the best. I am completely devastated at the moment. I've always thought about how I would handle things when everything ended, but now I don't know what to do. I will obviously go completely NC, but how do I start to move on? I don't even know where to begin. My whole life has revolved around this man for two years. I don't even remember what it's like without him. Any advice from people who have been in my situation would be greatly appreciated. XOXO Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 It's good you realized that it wasn't going anywhere. You're strong and that took courage to end it. Especially since you weren't expecting to and it wasn't planned. Grieve the loss. Let yourself cry and go through all the stages of grief. Rely on friends to help you through this, get counseling (if you are depressed, not eating and losing weight) anti d's will help) and each day try your best to have a laugh or two. Make yourself do something to keep busy and distracted so he's not on your mind 24/7. You did the right thing for yourself. I know you love him and want more from him..He just isn't going to give you the life that you want, so again, congrats on ending it after having a light bulb moment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Catplates Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Yes.. I was totally there for two years like you were, then a big break for 18 months then twice more during the next 6 months. Now nothing. He was my whole world for 2 years. My husband had died a while before and I had little or no family to support me. I became embroiled in the most toxic destructive affair. I am not excusing my beahviour... I was weak and needy. It caused me great despair, emotional pain and grief when it ended the first time. The next couple of times we reunited it wasn't so bad. In fact the second time... after we split, I have hardly thought of him. I think you should find somebody you can tell . The telling seems to help. If you have a trusted friend ,that's good. If you haven't tell a counsellor... just speaking about it is getting it out of your system and helps you to see it more clearly. I think you are looking at a tough time. You might even mess up and contact him again a few times. Please make sure you keep as busy as you can. A few new interests will help you but you are too raw for that yet. BEst wishes, Cat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NotDoneYet Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Therapy, not only to help you through the loss, but to help you figure out why you'd hang on for so long to a married man - someone who's clearly not committed to you. Impose a dating moratorium on yourself until you figure this out. Be comfortable being alone before you attempt a new relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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