Author TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 Thanks ma'am. Doing fine and sooooooo glad to be home in SOCAL (Even if a lot of my friends left for what they think (right now) is greener pastures). Good to see you are still helping people. I myself and thinking it's about time I got off my duff and re-entered the dating world. I'm in a prime spot right now so have a lot to offer and even if I am being picky a bit, I know I'll find Ms. Right one day How have YOU been? Oooh the tales I have to tell you are rich, varied and long... One day we will have to meet on a shady verandah, sitting in our rocking chairs and swap memories.... For now, my life is comfortable, serene and meandering..... All is good in the TM world..... Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 I know someone who broke up with her boyfriend about 5 months ago; she still has his number and some texts saved. Apparently, he is the kind of guy who harbors deep vengeance. When I implicitly mentioned No Contact to her, she indicated that he would drive over to her place from hundreds of miles away (he still knows where she lives) should she try to stop all contact with him. Apparently, he is a perpetually imminent threat to her safety and well being. How can that kind of person be dealt with? It's called a restraining order! Link to post Share on other sites
GottaBePretty Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 Hello everyone. I met a guy online and things were great in the beginning. He would give me the attention I wanted, hugged me in public and he was respectful and called me frequently, etc. Then it all changed. He didn't have time for me, would "forget to call" me. His words, not mine. Seeing me came down to 1x-2x a week. Last summer when my kids had off from school I would go and spend weeks at his home to try to spend more time with him. Didn't happen. He would go with his brother the night I took my kids and myself to his place and we had traveled for over 2 hours just to spend time with him. He would just leave on the weekends on his motorcycle for HOURS not telling me where he'd be going and just leaving me and my kids at his house. He would tell me that he wanted to spend breakfast with me at my home and then it's going on noon and he hasn't shown up and I try to call him, but no answer. He would eventually show up, but that got later and later and he left my place earlier and earlier. So, I ended it after 18 months. Normal healthy relationship needs weren't being met by him. I broke it off numerous times before because of what he was doing. We were thinking about moving in together. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. This was serious. I was very loyal, loving, good to him. But time and again he disrespected me by the actions I mentioned above. He neglected me. I am heartbroken. Even though I'm the dumper, I don't think that I hurt any less than you dumpees. I was very, very lonely in that relationship. I was also very in love with him and still am. I saw a future with him and fell hard for him before he started to change. He always said when we were a couple that if I ever wanted to break it off that he would still wanna be friends with me. I tried that. It's not working. I'm gonna try NC. I should not have been treated like that. Even though I was the one who broke it off, I'm heartbroken. Link to post Share on other sites
missjones4812 Posted April 19, 2013 Share Posted April 19, 2013 I have to see and soeak to my ex because we have a child together, but that is the only contact I have with him. Any advice for someone like me?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2013 Author Share Posted April 19, 2013 I have to see and soeak to my ex because we have a child together, but that is the only contact I have with him. Any advice for someone like me?? Aure. Posts #32 & #33. Page 2. You Limit Contact. In other words, you keep to what is absolutely necessary. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cbguy Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 A big thanks to CaliGuy and TaraMaiden for this thread. Unfortunately I saw this late, after I did everything that guide said I shouldn't but it's still an amazingly helpful guide. Huge thumbs up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 Aure. Posts #32 & #33. Page 2. You Limit Contact. In other words, you keep to what is absolutely necessary. This is my take on limited contact, I wish it could be full NC, but it is what it is. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/374190-nc-best-how-about-we-beef-up-lc Link to post Share on other sites
Weathergirl Posted April 20, 2013 Share Posted April 20, 2013 I'll be doing this, today is day 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 21, 2013 Share Posted April 21, 2013 A big thanks to CaliGuy and TaraMaiden for this thread. Unfortunately I saw this late, after I did everything that guide said I shouldn't but it's still an amazingly helpful guide. Huge thumbs up. You're welcome. Hope more people read it and heed it. Trust me on that one! Cheers! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Great work Tara I hope people follow this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Great post, Tara. My brother could definitely use this right now. He's to the point where he's following his ex and trying to get her attention any way he can. Little does he realize with some improvement on himself, that he can find someone more suited to him. Although I think there are a few exceptions regarding staying friends. I think it has a lot to do with the nature of your relationship. My dad has remained friends with a few of his exes. I think those relationships had started as friendships and when they both had moved forward 100%, they stayed friends. In most of those cases, they had mutually agreed to end the relationship due to whatever differences they had. But I agree, if there are unresolved feelings or if the relationship ended on an acrimonious note, it's best to go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Enna Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Bumping this as it's been so important to me in my 25 days NC. Only difficulty I have (since I've had breadcrumbs) is in standing by not responding until the 180. (So far only had 'you mean so much to me'). That's the trickiest bit isn't it?!! Having the confidence that if we mean enough to them, they'll do what they need to. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 ASLTW. (Actions Speak Louder Than Words.) Yup. It's all about 'doing' not 'saying'..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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