My Daughter 17 Just told me she is Pregnant

[coffeebean201]

Love your daughter and support her.

 

Make sure she has access to all the information she needs to make an informed decision about her and this baby's future.

 

Sounds like the other adults around her are offering choices/boundaries.

 

Make sure she feels love from you.

 

I wouldn't worry too much about the shame part of it. Worry about how un-fun it is to be looking after a baby and finishing high school when all your previous friends are partying and living a totally different lifestyle.

[BrokenPrincess]

I had an abortion when I was 17. I didn't tell my parents and at that time you did not need consent at 16+yo. I was a straight A student with a full ride scholarship to college and I did not want to derail my entire future or be the pregnant girl my senior year just to give the baby up for adoption.

 

It was a slight trauma to have the actual procedure, but I did not feel guilty about ending the pregnancy. However, in all the years afterward, I secretly thought my insides were destroyed and I'd never be able to get pregnant again but could never share the fear with anyone (except my husband)

 

I don't regret the decision at all. The father was from an equally stable loving home, but in the years following, he was arrested numerous times for drugs, forging checks, and now it turns out now he's in jail as a convicted sex offender (!!)

 

Meanwhile, I finished college, got my masters, have a decent career, and am married with a delightful son (who was conceived the first time we tried)

 

So I don't know if sharing my story helps you at all, but I know when I was going through it, no one would've been able to talk me out of my decision because I felt like any other option would ruin the rest of my life, which I was just getting started.

 

Good luck

[FitChick]

i stated earlier that my sister is an OBGYN Physician and does have the financial means to to help raise this child or adopt this child without an issue.

 

As an OB/GYN she would be aware of infertile couples who are stable, motivated and have the financial means to offer this child the wonderful life with two loving parents that it deserves. I hope you daughter would be intelligent and unselfish enough to recognize this.

 

See if Netflix has the film, starring Mariel Hemingway, called "I Want to Keep My Baby." Amazingly non-sentimental and realistic view of teen mothers. You need to watch it together. If there were more films like this, kids might get the message and society would be better off.

[bentnotbroken]

it doesn't just happen, you let it happen.. You make the choice to have sex and you get pregnant this girl is no different she could have kept her knees together and she wouldn't be in this position

 

 

wow! .........

[sb129]

SP129, thank you for your input.

 

 

You're welcome, although I see it was removed- I think I can guess what/ who was responsible for that!

 

You can't force your daughter to move- you can't force her to do anything. She is to all intents and purposes an adult. An immature one at only 17, but she will be as scared and confused as you are.

 

In fact, if you try to force her to do anything, you may end up alienating yourself from her, which is the last thing you both need/want.

 

My future child won't be pregnant at 17....

 

Predicting the future now too I see.

[davidjor]

DUCKSOUP,

 

Your about the biggest IDIOT I have ever heard. You OBVIOUSLY have no idea what your talking about.... JEEZ, I would hope that you don't have any kids....

[whichwayisup]

Excuse me, but is there some reason your daughter can't drive herself to the counselor? Does she not have a license yet?

 

The sooner she learns to become self reliant the better off everyone will be, baby or no baby.

 

She's no longer a child, stop treating her like one, start having adult expectations of her.

 

And why in god's name did you also take your 22 year old niece along?

 

I'm afraid your daughter is playing you. The next thing will be she is going to ask you for money for the baby, she will milk you dry and then disappear.

She needs support and there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with a mother going with her daughter to the appt.

 

Your post is full of assumptions and boy, I feel sorry for your children if they can't come to you for any support since you show this kind of reaction. There's tough love, but then there's just plain cruel. Why on earth would ANY parent knowingly shun their own kid of ANY age, when they are going through a difficult time or need to make a tough decision?

[sb129]

I would drive my daughter to a stressful medical appointment if she needed me to whether she was 17 or 47.

 

And I would also support her financially if she needed it to help raise a child.

 

A parents love is unconditional, and that kind of support isn't "indulgent"- its showing your children you will still help them out if they really need it no matter what.

 

There is a difference between real need and taking the P*ss need.

[hotgurl]

HOTGIRL, how did your pregnancy turn out when you were 16? Her being in florida she has got to have "parental consent" to have an abortion. Currently her mother and I have "Shared Parental Responsibility" meaning that we have to agree on major decisions for my daughter. Her Mother has been fighting drug addiction for the past 15 years, however we both agree that her going to Tennessee with my sister is the best thing for my daughter.

 

This would pretty much force my daughter to give birth to the baby, and either parent it or give it up for adoption. I am just so confused :-(

 

Sorry I didn't answer until now. I have been away.

 

I gave birth to my daughter. The summer between Junior & Senior year. I only needed 4 credits to graduate so I went to school part time and than worked part time. I did live with my parent sand they helped me out.

 

 

I than went to college and lived in family housing on campus for three years. My senior year I moved back home graduated. It took me a few months to get a job in my field and than I moved out with my friend into an apartment at 22 and have been independent ever since. I always had my daughter with me.

 

My parents did help out picking up from daycare and when she was little. But I did the bulk of the work. the dad is gone.

 

I can say I wouldn't have been able to do it without supporting parents. It was hard really hard on all of us. But we worked it out. We are all very close.

 

My daughter is 17 now. She is going to college this fall to be a bio medical engineer. We are happy. I was lucky to find a good guy and we have been together since she was 6.