Aaaarrrggghhhhh !!!!!!

[Zammo25]

Not only has my ex f*cked off and is in bed with another guy. She moved on whilst we were together, obviously, not technical cheating on me but had the plan b in place and moved on without a second f*cking thought about me. She also has a lot of my possessions that seems to have gone " awol ". I am feeling totally trashed and angry tonight. Any line of communication I made even wishing her and Mr Wonderful all the best and " can I have my gear back " has been ignored, no reply, nothing. What a crock of sh*t. I have to heal my heart, get over her with the Mr Wonderful and write my possessions off as well. What the hell is this sh*t about ?

 

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH !

 

I am going to bed now, alone, but feel pissed off with this. Do I have a right to be annoyed ?

Edited January 10, 2013 by Zammo25

[Tmo2]

Yes, the right is yours.

[TerpVet87]

I would be angry too.

[MyAngel]

Of course you are right to be angry!! What a crap thing to happen.

[moveONorStay]

There is nothing worse than being ignored. It's one of the most disrespectful things I have ever experienced

[Renard99]

Yes, anger is only natural in this situation. I went through it myself!

 

I really think you need to stop refering him to as Mr Wonderful, even if you do percieve him to be better than you, or even if you're using it jokingly. You're psychologically kicking youself every time you do call him that.

 

How do you know that his looks, for example, don't require him to spend hours infront of the mirror. How do you know that, his culinary skills haven't resulted in the burning down of multiple kitchens. How do you know that his perfectly turned out and clean apartment isn't actually the result of massive OCD?

 

People only tend to show their good side, even if it's only a front. Also, when pushed, people rarely speak ill of people unless they really have a good reason to do so.

 

What I'm trying to say is that nobody is completely as they seem, and you need to start thinking that you have as much to contribute to a relationship as the next guy.

[spaniard]

Okay, this is gonna be a bit harsh, but I usually am, so whatever. I tend to be harsher to people whom I consider weak. Sorry. I do this because sometimes it's the best way to help them bring on their foot again. Saying "oh dear, you'll be better" etc etc won't really make a change.

 

Yeah, Renard99 is bloody right. Stop calling him Mr Wonderful for God's sake.

 

A few weeks ago you wrote this: "The new guy is everything I am not, big, hunky, good looking, strong, reliable, not depressed, not broke, steady job, good income, own assets, decent pension lined up."

 

This is BS. It's not how life works. Yeah, some of us have better genes, that's truth. But don't try to imply that you were born into being strong, reliable, with a steady job and a good income etc. These are ACHIEVEMENTS. And most people can achieve them. Yeah, for some people it's easier, others have to work harder. But instead of throwing yourself in a pity party calling the new guy Mr Wonderful, try to IMPROVE YOURSELF. What else have you been doing since the break up apart from crying around? Have you taken my advice to go to gym and try to reform your eating habits for example? Have you tried anything to boost your self-esteem?

 

You are angry now, which is natural. Try to turn this anger into motivation. Into hard work. It's easier than you think. Yeah, you'll cry. But that's just the way how it works.

 

If you keep focusing on your ex's new boyfriend and his supernatural abilities, well, you'll never move on. Please try to focus on yourself.

 

Here is a good site where you can learn a few skills to improve yourself: The Art of Manliness | Men?s Interests and Lifestyle

 

Good luck.

 

EDIT: And try to leave them alone. The next few months is about you, not about them. Put her stuff in a box and put it somewhere out of reach. And unless you have something utterly important, say goodbye to your gears. You only want it back, because it would give you an excuse to see her again. Well, f... that. You are a man, you can build an aircraft carrier from a broken paperclip or two, you don't need your socks back.

Edited January 11, 2013 by spaniard

[Zammo25]

Okay, this is gonna be a bit harsh, but I usually am, so whatever. I tend to be harsher to people whom I consider weak. Sorry. I do this because sometimes it's the best way to help them bring on their foot again. Saying "oh dear, you'll be better" etc etc won't really make a change.

 

Yeah, Renard99 is bloody right. Stop calling him Mr Wonderful for God's sake.

 

A few weeks ago you wrote this: "The new guy is everything I am not, big, hunky, good looking, strong, reliable, not depressed, not broke, steady job, good income, own assets, decent pension lined up."

 

This is BS. It's not how life works. Yeah, some of us have better genes, that's truth. But don't try to imply that you were born into being strong, reliable, with a steady job and a good income etc. These are ACHIEVEMENTS. And most people can achieve them. Yeah, for some people it's easier, others have to work harder. But instead of throwing yourself in a pity party calling the new guy Mr Wonderful, try to IMPROVE YOURSELF. What else have you been doing since the break up apart from crying around? Have you taken my advice to go to gym and try to reform your eating habits for example? Have you tried anything to boost your self-esteem?

 

You are angry now, which is natural. Try to turn this anger into motivation. Into hard work. It's easier than you think. Yeah, you'll cry. But that's just the way how it works.

 

If you keep focusing on your ex's new boyfriend and his supernatural abilities, well, you'll never move on. Please try to focus on yourself.

 

Here is a good site where you can learn a few skills to improve yourself: The Art of Manliness | Men?s Interests and Lifestyle

 

Good luck.

 

EDIT: And try to leave them alone. The next few months is about you, not about them. Put her stuff in a box and put it somewhere out of reach. And unless you have something utterly important, say goodbye to your gears. You only want it back, because it would give you an excuse to see her again. Well, f... that. You are a man, you can build an aircraft carrier from a broken paperclip or two, you don't need your socks back.

 

I don't agree with any of this and it is not a pair of socks and it is not an excuse to see her, they can both f*ck right off as far as I am concerned, it is a lifetime collection of things worth over £ 4000.

[spaniard]

I don't agree with any of this and it is not a pair of socks and it is not an excuse to see her, they can both f*ck right off as far as I am concerned, it is a lifetime collection of things worth over £ 4000.

 

Well, of course, you don't have to agree with me, it seems you are doing pretty well in your own way. I just wanted to give you some advice, maybe self-improvement could do more help than self-pity. Anyway, do whatever you want, call him Mr Wonderful and believe that you are inferior to him in every respect, if that helps you.

 

Sorry, I can't remember, did you live together? If yes, why didn't you take that £4000 collection of things when you moved out, if not, why did you took your £4000 collection of things to her place?

 

Anyway, if you really need those stuff, give her a call, tell her that you want your collection back as soon as possible. Don't send messages.

Edited January 11, 2013 by spaniard

[Renard99]

If she took £4000 pounds worth of belongs from you that's theft. If she doesn't respond to any reasonable attempts to contact her you should report it to the police stating that you have reason to believe she has stolen valuable property from you.

 

When you say that you don't agree with anything Spaniard has said, do you mean that you stick to the idea that this man is 'everything you are not' and that all of the things he has, like a good job are not achievable to you? Let me ask you then, and this is a genuine, serious question..... what did your ex see in you in order to go out with you? She must have seen something because no one ever says to themselves "there's an ugly, weak, small depressing person with a rubbish personality and no money. I think i'll date them", in fact, they usually say the exact opposite of that, so what was it she saw in you?

Edited January 11, 2013 by Renard99

[Zammo25]

What did she see in me ? Nothing apparently. Do you know what her behaviour over this has been deplorable and she is fast coming off that pedastal I had her on. She is fast going down in my estimations. The fact she got my e mail which was kind and respectful, wishing her well with Mr Wonderful and thanking her for our time together to be ignored to me is just plain rude. She must have some sort of ruthless streak in her I did not see. Well now I do. A simple reply " yes I will get your possessions back to you " would have been sufficient but just to blank it is plain out of order. I am now getting angry. Maybe this was the best thing to happen to me as I can now see her in a new light as I don't deserve to be treated this way. I hope there is Karma and she gets what is due to her now.

[steelpantherrocks]

i can relate to your situation fully, had almost the same thing happen to me only she downgraded fully, and admits it, just needed to connect with someone sexually and i guess this guy was there for her. whatever the case, its hard to swallow, its been 3 and a half months for me and all though this guy dumped her and they no longer sleep together she still is a pin cusion and is being pretty slutty right now, so one situation isnt worse than the other. ive been through all the emotions. when i found out i freaked called him, confronted him, threw him around a bit, watched him apoligize in tears, with her i called her every name in the book , constant name calling, made her feel like she was 5 inches big. i wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt me. it worked but guess what, who cares. when i see this troll now i do not have respect for her, i look at her like an object, and i have zero respect for her and knowing she was with this guy whos a man whorror and that it was that easy for her to do that means shes not worth my time or anyone elses. if shes capable to do this now shell def do it again. im done talking to her, him ill prob chirp him when i see him but to be honest good riddence, i wasted enough time crying and hurting over her. youll come to realize soon enough that your better than that and she did you a favour. im getting this slowly and it gets easier everyday, when she creeps into my mind i think of stuff i love to do, its def working. i dont have contact anymore i did the whole why are you ignoring me thing for weeks, it sucks dont give her the satisfaction of ignoring you. trust me on this. keep her stuff, shell contact you when she wants it then play the game back, you dont owe this bitch anything. there are days where id like to blast her over and over but for what, him too, they both know what they did so let them be slimy scumbags together. youll come around, stop feeling sorry for yourself, honestly.

[Zammo25]

i can relate to your situation fully, had almost the same thing happen to me only she downgraded fully, and admits it, just needed to connect with someone sexually and i guess this guy was there for her. whatever the case, its hard to swallow, its been 3 and a half months for me and all though this guy dumped her and they no longer sleep together she still is a pin cusion and is being pretty slutty right now, so one situation isnt worse than the other. ive been through all the emotions. when i found out i freaked called him, confronted him, threw him around a bit, watched him apoligize in tears, with her i called her every name in the book , constant name calling, made her feel like she was 5 inches big. i wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt me. it worked but guess what, who cares. when i see this troll now i do not have respect for her, i look at her like an object, and i have zero respect for her and knowing she was with this guy whos a man whorror and that it was that easy for her to do that means shes not worth my time or anyone elses. if shes capable to do this now shell def do it again. im done talking to her, him ill prob chirp him when i see him but to be honest good riddence, i wasted enough time crying and hurting over her. youll come to realize soon enough that your better than that and she did you a favour. im getting this slowly and it gets easier everyday, when she creeps into my mind i think of stuff i love to do, its def working. i dont have contact anymore i did the whole why are you ignoring me thing for weeks, it sucks dont give her the satisfaction of ignoring you. trust me on this. keep her stuff, shell contact you when she wants it then play the game back, you dont owe this bitch anything. there are days where id like to blast her over and over but for what, him too, they both know what they did so let them be slimy scumbags together. youll come around, stop feeling sorry for yourself, honestly.

 

I have nothing of hers but she has £ 4000 of items held hostage with no reasonable attempts to give them back despite my kind and unintrusive e mail, better the better Man and wishing her well with the new guy " I hope you will be happy together " and I mean it. Even though I know this guy was waiting in the wings for us to crash and she moved onto him without even giving a slightest bit of fight to save our relationship. I feel I behaved with maturity but she has gone down in my estimations now, big time.

[steelpantherrocks]

sorry didnt realize she had your stuff, i read it wrong, in that case. mine took 3 almost 4 weeks to get her **** out of my house cause she was too busy banging buddy. i sent her an email one day and told her your stuff will be on the lawn friday no ifs ands or buts, she came that day. demand your things tell her youll send a friend over to grab it or she can drop it off at work, mine stole cash from me, took alot of my belongings too, if you cant get it back then just chalk it up as a loss and move on. its hard but you can do it.

[Zammo25]

Why should I " chalk up " £ 4000 of gear ? This is not right, not right by a long way and Mr Wonderful may have my gear and they are laughing in my face. She has shown her true colours now.

[Zammo25]

I can understand she may feel uncomfortable with communicating with me with Mr Wonderful in her bed now but I am making no attempt to get her back, that was done months ago when I laid my Heart on the line and she ignored it. When she met the shiny new guy I heard via a text from a mututal friend saying " she has met someone else and told me to tell you to never contact her again ", how ****ty is that ?. A really immature attitiude. Well she is his problem now and it may end with wedding bells or coming crashing down but all the respect and love I had for her is now over. I am getting past caring now so maybe this has helped me see her in a different light.

[steelpantherrocks]

its def a shot to the ego when stuff like this happens, you almost question your self worth, a person whom you thought cared and loved you can just turn there back and hop on another guy just like that. we were in councelling when this guy started lurking, it all happened while i thought we were fixing things, she was just buttering him up to bang him as soon as i kicked her out of the house. days later the screwing started. i respect my self and it took me nearly 2 months to feel good enough to get with another girl, but guess what i always upgrade my girls, always, id never downgrade nor settle, im 36 and i stil can land some great girls. the one im with now, is a woman, not a slut and def way hotter than my ex. so be strong my man, hit the gym, get your **** together,start thinking your better than her, and pride yourself knowing you wouldnt do that to anyone and treat people with respect.its hard not to be jaded after a situation like this but it happened for a reason man, your better off believe me, theres lotsa hunnies out there, trust me.

[steelpantherrocks]

mine tried the dont contact me thing, whatever, shell crash believe me, mine did hard, after he dumped her she was a wreck, she wont admit it but she was. she sounds alot like mine, stubborn, let her be stubborn, in the end shes the one when this guy starts showing his true colours has to deal with it and think back to your relationship and see what a gd guy your were. take the loss bud, itll eat you up inside, i almost acted on my emotions a few times and nearly went to this guys house, for what to end up in jail. **** attracts **** thats my theory. if she was a good girl she wouldnt have attracted this clown. head up man.

[Zammo25]

mine tried the dont contact me thing, whatever, shell crash believe me, mine did hard, after he dumped her she was a wreck, she wont admit it but she was. she sounds alot like mine, stubborn, let her be stubborn, in the end shes the one when this guy starts showing his true colours has to deal with it and think back to your relationship and see what a gd guy your were. take the loss bud, itll eat you up inside, i almost acted on my emotions a few times and nearly went to this guys house, for what to end up in jail. **** attracts **** thats my theory. if she was a good girl she wouldnt have attracted this clown. head up man.

 

They can just get on with it now mate. He is now plowing her, ah well. I know I am a great bloke and his halo will slip one day but by then when she looks back at what a great guy I was to her and her daugther I hope to not give a toss anymore.

[Jono85]

dude, did you not break up with this girl a year ago?????

 

why is this money and her having your belongings coming up NOW????

 

if this is the case ^^^ it's tough to have any sympathy here... sorry bud.

[steelpantherrocks]

its tough , i prob woulda taken mine back for a while, but i guess when you finally realize what kind of person they are and that they prob would do it again you finally dont care and take them off that pedistal. mine was 11 yrs younger and she had this power over me to make me feel like less than her. i think as to why it hit me so hard. i know we werent right for eachother, and i know now that were totally toxic together, i miss her physically not emotionally, she had great curves and miss that part. having someone leave you to be with someone else is a very hard thing to swallow, its happened to me twice now. this is what i learned though. if you sleep with a girl on the first night, do not date her long term, both girls whom ive dated after sleeping with on the first night have done this to me.the ones before didnt. they are predisposed to being tramps. just my two cents..

[TaraMaiden]

Yeah....'Moving on' is a huge obstacle for some people..... what they don't realise is that the only lock on the door they already have a key to.

They just refuse to use it......

[Zammo25]

dude, did you not break up with this girl a year ago?????

 

why is this money and her having your belongings coming up NOW????

 

if this is the case ^^^ it's tough to have any sympathy here... sorry bud.

 

Well about 6 months ago. I am past caring but she said she would get my stuff back and she is taking the piss now. She and the new guy can just get on with it but I still think this situation is wrong.

[Zammo25]

Yeah....'Moving on' is a huge obstacle for some people..... what they don't realise is that the only lock on the door they already have a key to.

They just refuse to use it......

 

You are very good at the manual of " cliches " TM , you trot them out time and time again but have not addressed the issue.

[TaraMaiden]

Zammo, it is you who refuses to address the issue.

you dress it up, decorate it, embellish it, add to it, elaborate, magnify and inflate it.

 

But do you do anything about moving on, healing, dropping the pain, working on yourself, ignoring her and leaving the past behind?

 

The threads speak for themselves, i think.

 

just as my posts do, more than adequately.

 

Clichés are clichés, because they're tried, tested and they work.

 

You should try them some time.