Husband what's to help I don't think I can tell

[koala bear]

Well I was abused by my mothers boyfriend for a very long time when I was a child. A couple months ago one of the other girls he abused was arested for abuseing her boyfriends children.

 

Well since then I started having flashbacks. They have really gotten to me.No one and I mean no one knows every thing that has happened to me. And I told my husband that I was abused but never went any farther then that.

 

So we have been having problems lately. And I know some of it is about the flashbacks. So I told him that I was having them. Now he wants me to tell him about it. He says I can tell him anything.

 

I'm scared so scared I don't want him to think less of me. I have so much guilt.

 

We did sent him to jail. This was the biggest cage in the state of Florida ever. And the reason why is because he abuse ALL of my friends too. So I feel this is my fault because this wouldn't have happened to them if they weren't my friends. And the cops never asked me if there was any one else. And I know there are more then came foward.

 

I don't know if I can tell him everything...... it's just to hard for me.

 

I have feelings I can't explain and it in my opion makes me look bad.

 

What do I do I can't afford therepy?

 

Sorry this is so spacey but I'm really worked up right now and scared and I just need some help.

[Fayebelle]

They have councelors who work for an income based fee. You should not have to tackle this alone. A good therapist will bring your husband in to assist in teaching him how to help you day to day.

 

Are you still in touch w/your friends? Have them join you in an abuse support group. If not- go alone. Sometimes it is enpowering just to know you aren't the only one who feels this way.

 

Good Luck KB! You ARE a survivor!

[EC]

I agree with fay go get help from your local health dept.

 

You cannot keep all of those feelings inside for the exact reason that they will eventually come out and drive you insane.

 

You need to learn why it happened, and that it wasn't your fault.

 

I also agree you husband should go and your friends as well.

 

As for your husband I think you should tell him. He is your husband your life companion. The one that has to be there though good or bad. He loves you and I doubt that he will think any less of you if you tell him what you've gone through. In fact, I think he will love you more because he will see what a strong person you are to get through that.