! My father againsts my future marriage

[ilovewhitegirls]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Hi everyone :

 

Please excuse my English first as I am aChinese international student. I am currently live in Toronto; unlike most ofmy Asian peers who strive to succeed in their academic fields and findrespectable careers in the future, the primary reason for me come toCanada is getting a white girlfriend. I know this sounds extremely foolish andlaughable; if you think I am trolling here, please accept my apology because Ihave no intention to cause any turmoil in this forum. Everything that Iam writing here is exactly how i feel.

 

My grandfather was a lieutenant general of Chinese PLA, which stands to reasonthat my father succeeds in the Chinese real estate business (although he neverhad MBA or any formal commerce education background). My family is verytraditional and conservative; despite the fact my grandfather studied at SovietUnion more than 7 years and was a strong Marxism supporter; he and my fatherdislike foreigners or Chinese ethnic minorities. They began talk about mymarriage when I was still in high school ;my mom never cared, but she doesn'tmake much decision in the family. According to them, an ideal future wifefor me would be a Northern Chinese girl, 3-5 years than me,well-educated and from prestigious family.

 

The above criteria seemed reasonable, as I understood a stablemarriage depends on the similar socio-economic class an life-style of the couple. I know some people may disagree on that; but that is just mypersonal theory. The only problem is that I have never attracted to an east Asianwoman, not Asian celebrities, porn star or even half-Asians . Of course, as afinancially privileged young heterosexual man, I had causal intercourse withfew Asian women in the past just to release my sexual need, but I neverdeveloped romantic/ emotional connections with them. The first time I fall intolove with someone ( at age 16) who is a French Jewish girl; sadly, at that timeI don't speak English and the relationship never went further. I am 23 now, andin the past years, I have only attracted to Caucasian girls, not only sexuallybut emotionally as well. I never pictured myself with Asian girls together andnever had close Asian female friends.

Of course, after I revealed mypreference to my dad, he almost jumped to the roof. He said I am too naive andstupid and disloyal to the family. He believes all the white girls arepromiscuous and materialistic, although he admits that Chinese women arematerialistic too. He told me that interracial relationship can't never workout because " good white girls" wouldn't date outside their race and" white whores" are not marriageable. He said he doesn't mind I hiresome blonde escorts for fun but never have serious relation with white girls.He suggests me to see shrinks and let them to correct my “abnormality",to escape my family's criticism, I fled from Beijing to Toronto, and hoping tostart a new life here.

My father soon called me and apologized to me, he said I am the onlychild in the family and he wishes all the best for me. He let me stay inshangri-la condo he bought last year; and promises to pay my tuition, but Ineed to get married before 25 and have my first child before 30. My father saidGrandpa ( who is 90 now) wants to see his full-Chinese blood great grandchildbefore he dies, I never made any positive contribution to the family honor andthis will be my last chance to do so.

I never want and probably will not become rich and powerful; Iwill be satisfied with atypical middle class, suburban life in North America. Iam not a player, I only need one woman whom I loved and respected. (Shamefullyadmit that she has to be Caucasian ) I am currently dating a girl in my university,we have been dating since 2011, she has every quality I am looking for: tall,beautiful, funny, and well educated, her father is a senior executive of thelocal health integration network in Ontario. I didn't tell my father about thisbecause he will get frustrated ( he probably wouldn't disown me since I am theonly child)and cuts my allowance.

 

The only way I could think to convince my father and mygrandfather accept my girlfriend is to get her pregnant ( I know this isdisgusting and unethical). I know my father will never reject my baby, mygrandfather wouldn't be very happy but for sure he will accept he/she as afamily member. My family has strong prejudice against single parenthood andthey will accept my girlfriend because of our kid.

 

Any thoughts or suggestions? feel freeto reply[/FONT][/sIZE]

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[ilovewhitegirls]

any advice??

[Realist3]

My advice is not to get someone pregnant for the purpose of manipulating your family into accepting your preferences. You said you would be happy with a middle class life, so why the need to be reliant on your father's financial support?

 

You laid out a timetable. Who set that? Love and lasting realtionships are not built around arbitrary timetables. If that is what guides your decisions you will be miserable.

 

Stand on your own. Make the decisions that are best for YOU, not your family. If that means giving up the allowance and free college so be it. You are the one that is going to have to live with your decisons until you are 80 not them.

[Ladybugz]

Well i think there is no good white girl that dont date out of their race.

 

How long do you know the girl?

I think when you find that one person whatever color she is

you should cleave and leave your parents house and be a adult

and build something with your wife and kids.

 

Cause at the end your parents will die and you will be

there dealing with your wife.

They had their chance and they choose their wife.

So its your tie now.

 

I think when its real love you can learn your family to love her 2 with time.

And i would not make no kids with no white girl to make parents happy.

Cause if she end up being not the one , there you are as a broken family.

 

Its good that your family have some values but

not all are okay.

Like they want you to this and that for tradition.

You are grown so act like one make your own choices.

 

And if needed go live away with your wife where you can have peace and be yourself