lostsomeone Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I love him, and I want this relationship works. As I mentioned in my other post he wants to stay friend with his ex, and he would do almost everything for her, one would going out for dineer bcz it was her birthday :/ he would financially support her if he can. he is talking to her almost everyday. but at the same time he says she is only a friend and he loves me so much. I dont want to repeat myself again here is my previous post : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/366630-my-boyfriend-wants-stay-friend-his-ex-eventhough-he-knows-i-am-not-happy#post4510192 So I am suppose to go out for dinner tonight and break up with him. nut last night i noticed he deleted all the msgs from her both from Skype and his whatsapp !!!!! that was interesting bcz now it means he is trying to hide!!! anyway I was thinking to give this relationship one more week, bcz next week I would be home and I dont need to go to work so i can actually observe his moves ... What do you guys think? Should i wait? Should I break up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Don't be a girl that puts up with this and you won't be a girl that finds yourself in a situation like this- bottom line. You teach people how to treat you, and by all accounts you're teaching him that putting you second best is okay with you if you don't leave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Break up with him ASAP. The longer you carry on with this relationship, the more he thinks you'll put up with his crap no matter what. Set your boundaries and follow through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsomeone Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Don't be a girl that puts up with this and you won't be a girl that finds yourself in a situation like this- bottom line. You teach people how to treat you, and by all accounts you're teaching him that putting you second best is okay with you if you don't leave. This is true, and thank you. I will try my best tonight to talk to him and to see whether he is willing to over his friendship bcz of our relationship or not ! If not then I guess I have no other option but break up. However, I believe that in a relationship I have to give my partner all the rights and freedom. and if I couldnt accept who he is than I shall leave him. So I let him to do whatever he wants but apparently I couldnt take it Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsomeone Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 That's totally not okay, he should totally leave her or you leave him. Let's face it he still has feelings for her. I guess he does. Bcz He was my bestfriend an those times I do remember that what he was telling about her, he was telling me even though she cheated on her he can forgive him and move on but she just doesnt wanted him anymore. I remember that he left his country and his job and friends only bcz she was feeling lonely here for her study. I remember how much he loved her, and maybe he still loves her. What he told me last time was, she couldnt understand him. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 This is true, and thank you. I will try my best tonight to talk to him and to see whether he is willing to over his friendship bcz of our relationship or not ! If not then I guess I have no other option but break up. However, I believe that in a relationship I have to give my partner all the rights and freedom. and if I couldnt accept who he is than I shall leave him. So I let him to do whatever he wants but apparently I couldnt take it Ultimatums never work. If you have to issue an ultimatum, you're in a doomed relationship. You shouldn't have to say to him "it's her, or me". In the future, I'd go into a relationship with personal boundaries, and don't compromise those boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsomeone Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Ultimatums never work. If you have to issue an ultimatum, you're in a doomed relationship. You shouldn't have to say to him "it's her, or me". In the future, I'd go into a relationship with personal boundaries, and don't compromise those boundaries. Ok Thank you for your help. you are actually right ultimatums never works Link to post Share on other sites
redleader Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 hate to say it but it sounds like you you need to end it if this is a problem for you. If he knows it is a problem for you and is unwilling to even compromise or stop then it sounds like he made his choice already. Link to post Share on other sites
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