Sick0Kitten Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Ok so Im new to the site.....bare with me..... I'll start by off by telling ya'll my story and hopefully communicate what I'm concerned with clearly.. Well I'm a 20 yr girl, and I've been with my boyfriend Xander for almost 1.5 (he's 25)...... The only way I can really describe what we are is that we fought to be together. We were friends for a couple of months before he realized his feelings for me, at the time he was getting out of a bad relationship, and I was with one of his friends. Although I felt a similar way, I'd want to be faithful to my boyfriend at the moment because to me it was all just feelings then. But it turns out my boyfriend who i thought to be faithful was not. It ended. I was devastated... (as i had been cheated on once before, from my first boyfriend...with my besfriend... so yeah...big insecurity issues) Xander pursued me, and I responded, but didn't understand what was happening at the time, because all the events that followed our first kiss, it felt we'd created a natural and honest thing between each other. It was totally unexpected, and because i used to date his friend, and his x was friends with all our friends it made the following months a complete nightmare.. anyways so i have never been a jealous person once in my life, not even when i had been lied to and cheated on from my first boyfriend, i was fine, happy to asy the least! But with Xander I began to feel insecure becuse his x went crazy, tried to kill herself still hasn't ceased contact to him to this day. It was like a constant battle, i mean i could see he was under a lot of pressure. We'd fight about being together cause we were worried we';d hurt too many people by being happy... so we broke up for a couple months.. which was awful then got back together and it was liek a happier life had been created.. then, i got pregnant.. i decided to not go through with the pregnancy.. it all seemed simple to me, as i had never been through the experience before, or with any friends. i didn't realize how depressed it would make me afterwards, so for months i've been struggling with feeelings of resentment to myself and him - i've become me by default... jealous and possessive and insecure about absolutely everything. Like even if a pretty girl on tv is naked, and he's watching, i'll lose it because i don't want anything to take him away!... ok so i'm concerned that i can't overcome this jealousy.... is there any ways to do it without professional help> like can i ween myself off from seeing him to much? We are so happy living together, its bliss but then i go ruin it with worrying about stuff.. when he hardly gets to see his femle friends anymore... do i need more in my life? other friends? help me!!!! i'm at breaking point! i don't want to lose my truelove second time Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 it will be o.k. You really need to talk to someone about how you're feeling. Perhaps a therapist, a best friend, but especially Xander. He needs to know what you're going through so that he can help combat your feelings. Personally, I believe that a little jealousy actually helps out relationships. However, you are definately over board. Perhaps if you write down all of these feeings in a journal, it will help you get perspective on things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sick0Kitten Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 thank you so much! I agree with you on the journal, i think perhaps looknig back on it could benefit my own self awareness - and maybe help control how my jealousy is perceived and work on getting over it. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
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