REgret breaking up with my Rebound? Yes my Rebound???

[Loved77]

Hi everyone new member here. Hopefully somoone can give me some light onto why i'm feeling like this??? I'm totally confused & feel awful?

 

 

Ok so I broke up with my girlfriend as I felt it was not going anywhere long term. Thing is I met this great girl that ticked all the boxes & started seeing her straight away.

 

The first few weeks were great with her, it was quite clear she was really into me & I thought this is great. Things just were faling into place so easily between us. Though then I realised after a few weeks this was probably a rebound. I fought it & had to break it off with my rebound & told her I wasn't over breaking up with my ex & had to grieve. I tried to hang in there as I knew she would of been a better long term girlfriend if I could get over my ex but I couldn't.

 

Thing is I kinda felt relieved when I broke it off with her for a few weeks so I could grieve my ex, said I was really sorry for what I did etc etc.

 

In the last week i'm actually starting to really miss my rebound more than my ex? I know some of you will say serves me right for doing that to her though the reason I started dating her was because I felt she ticked all the boxes. I honestly didn't think it was your typical rebound?

 

Needless to say I contacted her again & she basically said she doesn't want to go back to uncertainty or the past. I don't blame her tbh but now I feel like i've made a really huge mistake.

 

So now i'm missing my rebound more than my ex? It's like i'm grieving two women at once???

 

I am sooo angry at myself!!!!!!!

 

It's the beginning of the weekend & looks like i'll be sitting at home by myself for the next few months sorting my head out???

 

Has anyone been in this situation before?

[jags2bowl27]

Yeah I'm currently going through the same thing

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366814-ex-new-chick-back-picture

[Inviv_girl]

Oh well, I think best you give her some space. And you too, have to work on yourself. Its certainly hurt her to know she's only a rebound and you broke it off as you see no future between you two. So give it sometimes.. if you really sure you have future with her then give it a go, apologize to her and ask to go back. Please dont just "go back" to her because you think of her more than your ex. And at the end when your feeling subsided you will again break it off with her again?? its not fair to her and you will just hurt her even more than she already is.

[moveONorStay]

Your situation is pretty much like mine, it's tough. I had 2 break ups in 2012...first in March with a girl I'd gone out with for 3 years...rebounded with a girl that ticked all the boxes...outgoing, stunningly beautiful and fun...forgot all about the girl I had the 3 year relationship with.

 

Then had a break up with the rebound girl, who I really did care about, but she turned out to be very jealous of the fact that my ex and a couple of other females were contacting me (the rebound was going through my emails). Since that break up, the rebound girl has completely ignored my attempts to talk to her.

 

Since then I have completely regretted breaking up with her...we were only together around 6 months and I think about her all the time...never thinking about the girl I was with for 3 years.

 

It's strange how these things work out!

[Loved77]

Oh well, I think best you give her some space. And you too, have to work on yourself. Its certainly hurt her to know she's only a rebound and you broke it off as you see no future between you two. So give it sometimes.. if you really sure you have future with her then give it a go, apologize to her and ask to go back. Please dont just "go back" to her because you think of her more than your ex. And at the end when your feeling subsided you will again break it off with her again?? its not fair to her and you will just hurt her even more than she already is.

 

 

 

I've gone no contact , she said she does not want to explore the past with me. She wouldn't contact by phone & would only text. So I assume she is not happy with me.

 

She actually said she is in a good place? I could find out but I don't think I want to if she is seeing someone else.

[Loved77]

Your situation is pretty much like mine, it's tough. I had 2 break ups in 2012...first in March with a girl I'd gone out with for 3 years...rebounded with a girl that ticked all the boxes...outgoing, stunningly beautiful and fun...forgot all about the girl I had the 3 year relationship with.

 

Then had a break up with the rebound girl, who I really did care about, but she turned out to be very jealous of the fact that my ex and a couple of other females were contacting me (the rebound was going through my emails). Since that break up, the rebound girl has completely ignored my attempts to talk to her.

 

Since then I have completely regretted breaking up with her...we were only together around 6 months and I think about her all the time...never thinking about the girl I was with for 3 years.

 

It's strange how these things work out!

 

 

Wow we do seem to be in exactly the same situation.

 

It strange alright.

 

I am totally confused on how the mind works as we both did what we felt best at the time.

 

How come our minds play games with us. It's really scary.

 

Thing is if we got our rebounds back it's possible we could change our minds again & not want them. I'm sure that is what they think will happen & that's why they wont come back to us?

[mike588]

Last year I re-connected with an old friend from many years ago. We hit it off and I FOOLISHLY ignored all the red flags that she still had feelings for her ex.

 

They had only been brokenup for about a month and she swore up and down that she would NEVER go back to him.

 

Well after a year together he popped back in her life and she dumped me for him. As posted she also never took the time to "heal" from the b/u and I was her emotional bandaid during her time of need.

 

Lesson learned....Be very careful dating someone "fresh" out of a relationship and go sooooo very slow.

[nes9]

Last year I re-connected with an old friend from many years ago. We hit it off and I FOOLISHLY ignored all the red flags that she still had feelings for her ex.

 

They had only been brokenup for about a month and she swore up and down that she would NEVER go back to him.

 

Well after a year together he popped back in her life and she dumped me for him. As posted she also never took the time to "heal" from the b/u and I was her emotional bandaid during her time of need.

 

Lesson learned....Be very careful dating someone "fresh" out of a relationship and go sooooo very slow.

 

Mike, I remember you saying that your ex contacted you again 6-7 months later full of regret over leaving you for her own ex. What kept you from getting back together with her? Had you found a new girl or just simply moved on and did not wish to give her the 2nd chance since she abandoned you once already?

[Loved77]

Your situation is pretty much like mine, it's tough. I had 2 break ups in 2012...first in March with a girl I'd gone out with for 3 years...rebounded with a girl that ticked all the boxes...outgoing, stunningly beautiful and fun...forgot all about the girl I had the 3 year relationship with.

 

Then had a break up with the rebound girl, who I really did care about, but she turned out to be very jealous of the fact that my ex and a couple of other females were contacting me (the rebound was going through my emails). Since that break up, the rebound girl has completely ignored my attempts to talk to her.

 

Since then I have completely regretted breaking up with her...we were only together around 6 months and I think about her all the time...never thinking about the girl I was with for 3 years.

 

It's strange how these things work out!

 

 

 

 

How long since you last had any contact with her?

 

Last contact I had with my rebound was NYE when she text me saying she does not want to explore the past.

 

That's 13 days so I guess i'm in the early stages of NC.

 

I think the part that has hurt me the most was how quick she seemed to have gotten over me. When I was with her she was all over me & it was quite obvious she really liked me. I did find it a little to full on but I liked the fact she was open about it & I had no doubts where I stood with her.

 

Is it possible to get over someone in 2 weeks?

Edited January 13, 2013 by Loved77

[Loved77]

Has anyone gotten over someone they really liked in 2 weeks?

[mike588]

Mike, I remember you saying that your ex contacted you again 6-7 months later full of regret over leaving you for her own ex. What kept you from getting back together with her? Had you found a new girl or just simply moved on and did not wish to give her the 2nd chance since she abandoned you once already?

 

Well she never actually said to me she wanted to try it again. I'm sure she was feeling sooooo guilty for the horrible and cruel way she dumped me and wanted to get that guilt off her chest...that's probably why she e-mailed me instead of calling me.

 

At that 6 month mark I went from wanting her back sooo bad to I wasn't so sure...the shock was over and I looked at her and the relationship in a different light.

 

I haven't seen her since the b/u but just last week I saw her in the parking lot at Wal-Mart....I drove slow by her...she reconized me and I just waved.

 

Even though it's been just alittle over a year now my heart was about to jump out of my chest but have no thoughts/desires to ever get back together. No.

 

I have also spoken to one of her friends lately and she told me she's a mess.I don't know and don't really care if their still together or not.

 

I am...and have been at a stage now where we could be friends but that's up to her to ask. I'm pretty sure she won't though....What could she possibly say to me (again the guilt) for the horrible way she ended it.

 

We all at one time in our lives have to go thru heart break and the pain that comes with it. It's all a learning and growing experience and you and all others will get thru this and become a better....wiser and stronger person!