Author puzzled1 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 I give you props for handling this the way you have been. I know that if my ex came knocking, I'd probably run and take her back in a second without thinking even though she hurt me so bad. She sounds really confused and is playing games. I have to feel for the guy who she just dumped. She definitely is selfish, she isn't taking anyone's feelings into account but her own. Oh believe me, I want to run back to her and give her the biggest hug and kiss you can possibly give someone, but what happens after all that? I am not ready to accept. Just because I know the rules of this game, doesn't mean I want to play it. If it wasn't for my heart being a sensitive mofo, I would be really good at it. But sometimes I cant help but just be the person I really am. That's when this game gives me the shaft. I am tried of being kept under, she wont let me heal by keeping me a safety net. I went to the gym for 4 hours yesterday and by the time I got out I was numb physically, emotionally and mentally. EDIT: Sorry I realize I am just rambling about nonsense, but I needed to vent lol Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 (edited) Dude. What are you going to do? Im even confused. I know you want her back. But can you trust her? I mean at this point she would need to come back crawling AND call the other guy right in front of you on speaker and tell him it is over and not to call her AND she is back with you. I did this once. We were together for another 2 years. Edited January 16, 2013 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Option number 2 is write this one off forever. These things are tough to put back together. Although in your case you might have a shot...just my opinion..if she really leaves this other guy. Not that i want to confuse you any more Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Dude. What are you going to do? Im even confused. I know you want her back. But can you trust her? I mean at this point she would need to come back crawling AND call the other guy right in front of you on speaker and tell him it is over and not to call her AND she is back with you. I did this once. We were together for another 2 years. I am not really sure what to do... I honestly want her back but I cant just rip the stitches off my wounds and keep doing this over and over again... She told me over Christmas that she owes it to herself to date other men. She told me she does not feel the same connection with the new guy that she felt with me. I pretty much grew up with her so its really hard to let her go. Ive been sitting on my bed since 9am listening to breakup songs and just feeling down. I am about to get up and get my day started. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Ok im going to break protocol. And obviously this is just my speculation. I think that she is really confused because she is still really into you. There could be a chance here...BUT...she need to TOTALLY capitulate to you. You will know if this happens. If you are confused... she hasn't capitulated. In the mean time treat her like **** and make it be know that if she wants you she better make it known or your out. Why don't you lay down the law for reconciliation your rules including the phone call to her current guy. No negotiation. Now how you go about this I'm not sure. You don't seem like a pussy so im sure you will sense what direction this is headed and you wont show any weakness. If you feel too weak this might not work. Now there is the whole other question of whether you even want to try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 Ok im going to break protocol. And obviously this is just my speculation. I think that she is really confused because she is still really into you. There could be a chance here...BUT...she need to TOTALLY capitulate to you. You will know if this happens. If you are confused... she hasn't capitulated. In the mean time treat her like **** and make it be know that if she wants you she better make it known or your out. Why don't you lay down the law for reconciliation your rules including the phone call to her current guy. No negotiation. Now how you go about this I'm not sure. You don't seem like a pussy so im sure you will sense what direction this is headed and you wont show any weakness. If you feel too weak this might not work. Now there is the whole other question of whether you even want to try. Dude she is so emotionally unstable right now, I don't even want to try anymore, at least not now. I become the nice guy and when she feels that, I get walked on. I am not replying back to her. I am gonna sit on this for a couple of days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 Dude she is so emotionally unstable right now, I don't even want to try anymore, at least not now. I become the nice guy and when she feels that, I get walked on. I am not replying back to her. I am gonna sit on this for a couple of days. Good for you man. In fact that is the attitude that you need whether you guys end up trying again or not. Look after you. Too much drama..you dont want to drop dead of a heart attack Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 24 is too young to have a heart attack, if it was coming, I would have happened already haha My heart is resting right now, thinking logically and not with my emotions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 So I am thinking about messaging her, asking to go to dinner and talk about wtf is going on. Is that a good idea? If not, please stop me!! lol I have been trying to control that feeling since yesterday... Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Yeah why not. At this point you are pretty much a case study being documented on LS! Lol. You are one of the few that seems strong enough to handle this so F*ck it. Give it a go and get your answer. Remember TOTAL CAPITULATION from her...nothing else seems acceptable in my opinion at this point. Go for it alpha male! Good luck. Edited January 17, 2013 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Yeah why not. At this point you are pretty much a case study being documented on LS! Lol. You are one of the few that seems strong enough to handle this so F*ck it. Give it a go and get your answer. Remember TOTAL CAPITULATION from her...nothing else seems acceptable in my opinion at this point. Go for it alpha male! Good luck. Haha, I have to stand up for myself or I will be a rug that she can walk on. I just texted her and now waiting for her reply. I am nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Haha, I have to stand up for myself or I will be a rug that she can walk on. I just texted her and now waiting for her reply. I am nervous. Dude NOT nervous you don't give a sh*t remember? Go stand in front of a mirror and flex and do some positive affirmations. lol Edited January 17, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Dude NOT nervous you don't give a sh*t remember? Thats right! I dont care, I cant care!! Thanks brodi. I cant wait till next weekend, Its my friends bday so we gonna tear some sh*t up and get out of this mindset! lol She just texted me saying "you were mean as hell to me the other day!!!" LOL Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 Thats right! I dont care, I cant care!! Thanks brodi. I cant wait till next weekend, Its my friends bday so we gonna tear some sh*t up and get out of this mindset! lol She just texted me saying "you were mean as hell to me the other day!!!" LOL Don't respond to that...just say ...whatever.. does she want to see you or not or something along those lines. Treat her a little ****ty but not a total d*ck Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Im surprised more people don't post on your thread. This is one of the best threads I've read while here on LS. Sorry it has to be you. Lol You might need some second chances experts in on this one. Lmao Ive never been over there but you might want to post there and put a link to this thread on how to handle this communication. Edited January 17, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Im surprised more people don't post on your thread. This is one of the best threads I've read while here on LS. Sorry it has to be you. Lol You might need some second chances experts in on this one. Lmao Ive never been over there but you might want to post there and put a link to this thread on how to handle this communication. LMAO, Yes I def need some 2nd chances experts. I am pretty good at giving advises to my friends, but when it comes to me, I choke up and dont know what to do. I said to her, You were in the wrong mindset that day, do you want to see me or not? I was thinking friday. She hasn't responded back yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Perfect. Shoot for at night like 730 or 8 and make sure she is free for the evening, no lunch, and somewhere you can walk around and go different places and get drinks at end of night. You probably know this but don't ask her where she wants to go ..tell her you have it planned out and will pick her up etcetera. Remember YOU LEAD. She just needs to know what to wear. Just treat this like a new or second date. Edited January 17, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 She just texted me saying "you were mean as hell to me the other day!!!" LOL I can't believe you're going for this yet again. Okay - reply: "Excuse me, but first of all, you dumped me, THEN you kept pestering me, then you told me you wanted to get back to me, then you dropped me like a hot brick, and now your loverboy has dumped you, you're crawling back to me - and I'm the mean one? Are you serious?? look, if you want to meet to discuss where we can take this, let me know. Otherwise, if you're just going to jerk around with my love, then forget it. I can't play stupid games. Either we're on and we work at it - or we'll just call this a day." But I doubt you'll send it. You want her back, and doormat behaviour is far more conducive to her walking all over you. Again. She's obviously not serious about getting back with you, or otherwise, the invitation to dinner would have been responded to far more enthusiastically than "You were really mean to me!" She's yanking your chain and putting the guilt on you. Man, she's a piece of work, you know that?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 What taramaiden says works..make sure you get that in on the date if she says yes or blows you off now. Just my opinion. Either way this cant go on much longer. It is time for her to sh*t or get off the pot...you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 She is such a B*tch. She is going to the lake this weekend. LOL f#ck this!! Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 (edited) Lol Well you have your unequivocal answer now. It was worth a shot. No regrets! You definitely cant say you didn't give it your all. Thats is for sure. Anyway, This will be a great story to tell down the road. Sorry man. Are you going to do complete NC this time? I think it might be time to give this one up. Coping vortex's reconciliation fell apart also today. Maan these things never seem to work out. I thought you might buck the trend and be the 1%. Sorry if i gave you bad advice. Edited January 17, 2013 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Lol Well you have your unequivocal answer now. It was worth a shot. No regrets! You definitely cant say you didn't give it your all. Thats is for sure. Anyway, This will be a great story to tell down the road. Sorry man. Are you going to do complete NC this time? I think it might be time to give this one up. I want to say something like "I am so astonished at you! First, you want to break up with him, now you are going to the lake?? You know what, please do not contact me again because you have certainly made yourself very clear. Have a good day! But I think not responding something will prob get her thinking more... Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I want to say something like "I am so astonished at you! First, you want to break up with him, now you are going to the lake?? You know what, please do not contact me again because you have certainly made yourself very clear. Have a good day! But I think not responding something will prob get her thinking more... Listen man. Ive been in your exact position before. I eventually won her back but in the end it didn't work out. I waited for like 4 months while she sorted out her feeling for me and for her to eventually dump the other guy and get him to move out.. She ran back to me whenever they were having problems and then a day later she was fine. Crisis over. It was the worst thing ever. I will NEVER do that again and it wasn't worth it. You can go on forever like that. Time for hard core NC. No text nothing. Block her number. Delete everything and forget about her: The game is over. Time to cut her out of your life like a cancer. There are a lot of other girls and i know you'll be fine. Cav 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author puzzled1 Posted January 17, 2013 Author Share Posted January 17, 2013 Listen man. Ive been in your exact position before. I eventually won her back but in the end it didn't work out. I waited for like 4 months while she sorted out her feeling for me and for her to eventually dump the other guy and get him to move out.. She ran back to me whenever they were having problems and then a day later she was fine. Crisis over. It was the worst thing ever. I will NEVER do that again and it wasn't worth it. You can go on forever like that. Time for hard core NC. No text nothing. Block her number. Delete everything and forget about her: The game is over. Time to cut her out of your life like a cancer. There are a lot of other girls and i know you'll be fine. Cav Yeah time to cut loose. She has gone insane, keeping me and her new boy toy, I think she feels guilty so then she runs back to me, and then when everything is fine, she runs back to him. I dont want to let her off the hook this easy, I need to say something and then just not respond ever again. Cant believe shes changed so much. I dont even want to f*cking try this out anymore. She is mentally screwed. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 I want to say something like "I am so astonished at you! First, you want to break up with him, now you are going to the lake?? You know what, please do not contact me again because you have certainly made yourself very clear. Have a good day! But I think not responding something will prob get her thinking more... The time for saying anything is over. Any riposte you come up with now, will simply amke you sound like a desperate sore loser.... It's time to take up the NC baton, run with it, and never stop until she's just a speck on the horizon... then keep going until she's just a speck of dirt on your dating resumé ... The you just flick that off the page.... Quit this game of ping-pong. it undermines your dignity and just keeps her in "He's paying attention to me - he MUST want me bad!" mode.... Kick her to the kerb and do what you know you should have been doing already. Quit weakening. Really, she's already demonstrated she is sooo not worth the aggro.... And when she goes to the lake - she can jump in it for all you care.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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