Silver Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 While eating last night, there were some fries left in the bowl, so I was eating a few more when my BF says you know those are loaded with fat. I asked him why he would say that, he says because he knows that like to watch what I eat and just wanted to mention it. Yes, I am cautious most of the time, I don't over indulge or eat fatty/greasy foods very often, but a few extra fries wouldn't harm me. (he is overweight himself, over the 11 years we have been together he has put on quite a belly, he eats whatever/whenever he wants, example, he can finish off a whole bag of chips at one sitting) I never scold him or tell him I am disappointed in him, I never "count his calories", he's a big boy he knows what he should and shouldn't eat. Anyways, back to the story......so I ask him does he think I need to lose or gain weight, he says neither he likes me the way I am. So I ask hypothetically, what if I gain X amount of weight and become overweight, he says he would breakup with me because "he doesn't like fat women". I say to him, oh it's ok for you to put on a belly and eat whatever but if I happen to get overweight, you would break up with me? He says "yep I would". Shocked I ask, after 11 years of being together you would break up with me over something like that? Even though you know the person I am inside you would break up with me because I gained weight? He simply says, yes I would, I don't like fat women. I told him he was very shallow and it's not very fair that he gain all this weight without a care in the world, but if I put on a few extra pounds he'll breakup with me. This really upsets me, how shallow can you get. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Yea, he's being a jerk. Whether or not he was kidding, don't know. Some guys say stupid things. From now on, I would make him by his own junk food, and then mention that you saw some hot guy jogging by without a shirt on like a day later. That'll get him going good. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 He should not be so shallow...also if he himself is "letting himself go" as some would put it; and getting a belly then he has no room to complain if you did the same. I would hope his love for you emotionally would be deep enough to withstand some weight gain on your part, if not then maybe he isn't a very "loving" person. You should point it out next time he's stuffing his face about how "disgusting" it is that he can finish all that food in one setting....maybe he wanted the fries and was hoping you'd give them to him by him saying that maybe he thought he'd put em back down. Either way it was a jerky thing to say! Link to post Share on other sites
deesgirl Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 I think you should agree with him. Tell him you see his point and realise you aren't attracted to fat guys, so he better shape up or ship out. It sounds childish, but turn about is fair play. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 I think you should agree with him. Tell him you see his point and realise you aren't attracted to fat guys, so he better shape up or ship out. I agree. What he said was cruel and shows that his love for you is only skin deep, and if your physical appearance changed he would leave you without a second thought. I don't think I could handle having a guy like that around. Link to post Share on other sites
Azeele Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 hmmm...maybe you could dig a little deeper just to see how shallow he really is...what if you developed an unattractive skin condition or lost a limb or had scars from being badly burned...etc.? He'd probably say "oh, but that's different." uh huh...sure it is He sounds terribly shallow. I doubt there is anything you can do to change him after so many years. It just sounds like a character flaw you'll have to decide if you can live with. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted August 22, 2004 Share Posted August 22, 2004 I don´t think that people turn so shallow all of a sudden. He either always was so stupid und you were too blind to see, or he said something, didn´t want to take it back and just continued. Ask him again nicely and if he insists on this, give him a kick. What a jerk.... It´s really true, I´ve seen fat man or guys who were really not very attractive making pejorative remarks about women. I don´t know where they get all this self-confidence. I once heard it´s related to testosterone, the higher it is, the better you feel, NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK! They still think they are coooool Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silver Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Sorry I couldn't reply sooner, I have a hard time logging in on the weekends. Thanks for all your replies. No, I don't think he was kidding at all, I asked him a few times. About me saying I saw some hot guy running by, it wouldn't bother him. No I don't think he turned that shallow over night either, when we see an overweight person he says some smart-ass remark some of the time. He says he doesn't like fat women. So I had to ask him finally what would happen if I got to a weight he thinks is fat or overweight. I told him he wasn't the skinniest guy on the block either but I'm not going to break up with him over it, he says that's how you feel, not how I feel, I don't like fat women, I don't date fat women. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 He´s a jerk. Look for someone else, he really is not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
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