Inviv_girl Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Im not sure what to write but Im in a VERY weak moment tonight, its wekend and I cant stop thinking what he might be doing and with who? I have the huge urge to call him. I know everyone would say dont I just really miss him so much! I cant stop thinking about him, I just have worse night! please help me, I just want to have sensible conversation with him. Should I call? should I text? Please help.. What would I say, suggestion please Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I would say don't contact him because you sound too emotional at the moment to have a sensible conversation with him, and it will only make you feel worse. Try to find a way to calm down and soothe yourself without contact him. Maybe a nice hot bath, listening to some calm music or simply having a cry. I will let you in on a secret: you will feel better. Sometimes we have hard times, but the sun always comes up in the morning. It may be dark now for you, but it is only temporary. Take very good care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 (edited) VERY BAD IDEA! Take a cold shower..anything..urge will pass. You'll feel worse than you do now after. Not just the rejection but even worse at your own weakness. It will destroy your self esteem that is so fragile now and have been trying to get back. What is the deal today? Everyone seem to want to break NC including people that have been holding strong ..you, NA49..Coping Vortex Its like melt down day on LS ...weird Cav Edited January 11, 2013 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inviv_girl Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Im already feel worse, I dont know what s happening to me I cant even shed a tear I really wanted to cry so at least I get this heavy stuffs out of my chest!! God why should I miss him so badly today..tonight.. Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 (edited) STOP.. BREATH...PULL YOUR MIND INTO THE PRESENT ...LEAVE PHONE AT HOME AND GO FOR A WALK OR RUN ..urge will pass..promise! NO ALCOHOL!! Edited January 11, 2013 by cavalier99 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inviv_girl Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Thank you!!! I really need somebody to slap me so I can wake up from this nightmare, why should I feel worse over someone that left me in sadness. I dont know what he's doing right now maybe he having a dinner date or something that naturally make me feel this way I want him the one that suffer, why me?? he left me in despair while he can move on happily and just dont care about me. Why people can be so happy and go on with their life knowing people they have hurt suffering Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Tell me about it. Im 3 months NC and still wondering when I'm going to get over this...seems endless. But i have hope we will recover..at least that is what im told Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inviv_girl Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 I know how it feels, 4,5 months BU and it extremely hard for me to move on and I cant force myself to forget him. The hate, the love all mixed together and it swirling in my stomach, I cant vomit it out to feel relief... I miss him so bad, and I do still cry almost everyday thinking and asking myself why and how could he do this to me. No answer of course.. At one time I say he is a totall a$$h*le another side of me said it was my fault too.. and bla and bla and bla... Sometimes I cant stop blaming myself for the break up, was it all my fault, was it just him, was it.......was it......... I love him truly but he chose to trash me. Im pathetic! Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Hmmm. Crying everyday isn't good. You need to stop it. Maybe try some positive self talk and meditation and prayer. Don't know? Hang in there All i know is you cant always talk down to yourself..it is self destructive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Inviv_girl Posted January 12, 2013 Author Share Posted January 12, 2013 I did the meditation, it can calm myself down. For crying, I really cant help it. No matter what I do, how busy I am, how tired I am... still there's a slight moment will crossed my mind to think of him (it just happened) and I will shed a tear. In my meditation, the first meditate I will still have him in mind and I cry automatically (no kidding!!) and second time I did I feel better and calm and be able to free my mind. Normally I did mediation for 10 minutes each, according to the music instruction. I dont know what to pray anymore, I always pray for the best and yet it never come ... not yet come.. ?? I dont know how much longer should I wait. Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 I was like you at the beginning. I kept panicking all the time and crying. Now I still do it at times but I know not to call. Mind you I still get the urges so bad. I'm too scared of what ill hear. " I don't love you anymore""why r u callin anyways". It's gonna put me bak to where I was at the beginning. Trust me. U don't want to know. Just think of what the best scenario wud be for u. Link to post Share on other sites
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