AngelDollFace Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I am 33 and he is 25. I just found out yesterday (after some drinking he confided in me) that he lost his virginity to me. I had asked him before that if he was a virgin because I had this nagging suspicion and he of course said he wasn't and pretty much evaded the question. So now I know the truth and I am very scared. I feel very deep feelings for him... now that I know he has only ever been with one person I feel it's doomed to fail- won't he someday want to go sew his wild oats or bang different girls- I am not a man so I have no clue. I did ask him if he thought he could be with one woman for the rest of his life and he said he thinks he can... thoughts??? I don't want to drive down a road that could easily end in a trainwreck of hurt feelings Link to post Share on other sites
Prada Class Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 In my opinion... No man should ever grow old to have only banged 1 women. Take that as you will. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 *turns on the bat signal for kung fu joe* 4 Link to post Share on other sites
turt Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 He's probably more likely to make it last than other guys. As long as you get along well, you should be fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 The thing that will most likely make it fail is you being 33 and him 25. Him being a virgin at 25 and you being his first doesn't mean it will fail... not every guy has wild oats... Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 *turns on the bat signal for kung fu joe* 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I am 33 and he is 25. I just found out yesterday (after some drinking he confided in me) that he lost his virginity to me. I had asked him before that if he was a virgin because I had this nagging suspicion and he of course said he wasn't and pretty much evaded the question. So now I know the truth and I am very scared. I feel very deep feelings for him... now that I know he has only ever been with one person I feel it's doomed to fail- won't he someday want to go sew his wild oats or bang different girls- I am not a man so I have no clue. I did ask him if he thought he could be with one woman for the rest of his life and he said he thinks he can... thoughts??? I don't want to drive down a road that could easily end in a trainwreck of hurt feelings It probably won't last. Though I speculate. You have your doubts too, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 It probably won't last. Though I speculate. You have your doubts too, eh? Would you really bet on this lasting if he wasn't a virgin!? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Well I don't know, it kinda depends on how he got to 25 still a virgin I guess. If it's that no woman would sleep with him, then yeah I'd be worried he's gonna want variety. If it's that he is super picky or something, then I wouldn't worry as much. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Would you really bet on this lasting if he wasn't a virgin!? No, no I wouldn't.... Link to post Share on other sites
Prada Class Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Would you really bet on this lasting if he wasn't a virgin!? That's not the point, although that would be more likely... A guy who's comfortable with the amount of laps he's completed is a lot more likely to settle down than a guy who's only completed one lap but still has an overflowing tank... bad metaphor, but you get the point. 1 thing I would like to bed on... soon or later this guy is going to taste new pussy. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Also some times when I read the title of this thread I miss read it. I read to say "I just found out I'm a 25 year old virgin." Strange that I do that. Now that would be a good thread haha. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Tough, tough situation to answer. There is no answer really. It depends on his character and how strong your relationship is. I do believe that, if you're with the right person, it won't matter if he/she is your first. I use my relationship with my wife as an example. We always say that if we were each other's firsts, we would never want to be with anyone else. BUT, take that with a grain of salt because we both do have prior experiences. I know, with my first gf (of 4 years), I didn't have a wandering eye until 2 years in when the relationship started to go bad. She just wasn't the right person for me and that had more to do with me wanting to be with other woman than the fact that I hadn't been with anyone else before. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Well I don't know, it kinda depends on how he got to 25 still a virgin I guess. If it's that no woman would sleep with him, then yeah I'd be worried he's gonna want variety. If it's that he is super picky or something, then I wouldn't worry as much. At first I was going to be mad at you, because I'm one of those guys who can't get any woman to sleep with me, and feel that you are judging me harshly. But then I realized, I probably wouldn't want to marry my first GF. Nor would I think it's even a good idea. I wouldn't be surprised if the OP's boyfriend feels the same way. Another key factor is the ages. She 33 and him 25. The most important question, what is she looking for? Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Every guy reading this tell your gf you were actually a virgin when you started dating her. Do this tonight and report back. Keep the "joke" up for as long as you can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Would it be magically different if he was 33 and she was 25 taking only into account the ages as some of you are? If she was 25 instead of 33, she might have different goals and expectations out of the relationship. Every guy reading this tell your gf you were actually a virgin when you started dating her. Do this tonight and report back. Keep the "joke" up for as long as you can. Heh, I'd do it if I had a GF. I do wonder what result it would bring. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Oh jeez. I find it so weird when women jump to this. Is every guy a total roving-eye slut? That's it? He just has to have a harem before being able to date someone long-term? My Dad (granted he's an as*hol*) had my mom as his first. It stayed that way for close to 40 years. He did cheat on Mom but there were other things going on in that marriage that lead down that path. I highly doubt that stuffing down some overwhelming pre-virgin loss urges are what did it. Why not just try to be happy. If you get 40 years from him, you'll probably both be dead by then anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 You know since it seems many women here are paranoid of ending up with the secret late bloomer virgin... My new insult will be "Your bf/husband is probably a secret virgin!" They'll be like OH NO what if he is............................. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I do agree that I think op has self confidence issues. It's one thing to have a "passing thought". It's another thing to be so concerned about it, you post it on a public forum looking for advice. Op, I would just not even worry about it. What good will it do? You already confronted him about it and he said it's not a problem. You can't really ask for much else. Whatever you do, don't make this out to be a self fulfilling prophecy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 This is why male virgins lie in the first place . Your concerns are understandable, but I would try to gauge whether he is a person for the long haul first. Not every male virgin will want to sow his wild oats or similar once he gets older. Link to post Share on other sites
suladas Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 No it doesn't. After my first GF dumping me and she was my first also, I had a chance with another women a week later and didn't want to. I didn't do it for many reasons like still being hurt, hoping we would get back together and not wanting to sleep with someone else, etc. I think if anything, if it's his first relationship the mind might wander to if your relationship is really a good one without other experience? Even that I wouldn't worry about if you two are good together. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 This is why male virgins lie in the first place . Your concerns are understandable, but I would try to gauge whether he is a person for the long haul first. Not every male virgin will want to sow his wild oats or similar once he gets older. Male virgins lie because they are "embarrassed" that they, as men, don't have years of experience pillaging and plowing women like society expects them to have done. NOT because they are afraid their gf might think they will want to sow their wild oats and cheat on them. Two different things. Bottom line. Don't freakin lie about being a virgin. You just come out looking stupid. I know cuz I've been there done that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 NOT because they are afraid their gf might think they will want to sow their wild oats and cheat on them. Two different things. Bottom line. Don't freakin lie about being a virgin. You just come out looking stupid. I know cuz I've been there done that. Your logic is logicless as usual. Lying because of what the gf might think is the only reason to lie. I mean lying doesn't give you skills... Well lieing sure worked out for this guy. I mean he banged her didn't he. Now he has her worrying she's going to lose him... Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Male virgins lie because they are "embarrassed" that they, as men, don't have years of experience pillaging and plowing women like society expects them to have done. NOT because they are afraid their gf might think they will want to sow their wild oats and cheat on them. Two different things. Bottom line. Don't freakin lie about being a virgin. You just come out looking stupid. I know cuz I've been there done that. Two different things yes - but both are part of the same problem, still a concern that is completely misplaced from both society and women. The best way to deal with it is to completely deal with it as no big deal and tell anyone who thinks otherwise to eat a dick and die. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Your logic is logicless as usual. Lying because of what the gf might think is the only reason to lie. I mean lying doesn't give you skills... Well lieing sure worked out for this guy. I mean he banged her didn't he. Now he has her worrying she's going to lose him... You have a comprehension problem. Lying didn't work out for this guy. Now he's got his gf all stressed out. Not saying she has a real reason to be stressed out, but in this case we can come up with ONE conclusion. Him lying did NO good. None at all. It only caused a negative situation. If he hadn't lied, his situation would be no worse off than if he did. My whole point is that lying about trivial stuff like this is pointless. NO good can come from it. At best...it's neutral. At worst, it can be a deal breaker. Link to post Share on other sites
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