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childhood abuse incident having affects today


TwinkletOes26

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TwinkletOes26

My boyfriends mother has never been a decent parent. When he was little she punched,slapped,kicked and threw things at him when she got frustrated by her parental duties. My boyfriends youngest brother even stated that their mother would burn him with lighters,kick him down stairs and lock him in closets when she got tired of them.

 

Now my boyfriend states that the incident that caused him and the siblings to be removed from the home was when she was called up to the school beause my boyfriend had gotten into a fight with the school bully. My boyfriend was in second grade when this occured.His teacher who was pregnant at the time tried to break the fight up by picking my boyfriend up and moving him away from the bully. My boyfriend said he just remembers still swinging and thinking it was the bully (who had been kept back in thier grade twice so you know he was much bigger)who was picking him up and he started to kick to get away and bby the time he realized it was his teacher he had kicked her in the stomach. Well his mother gets to the school picks him up and started slapping him and telling him he could have killed her baby and he would be a murderer.

 

My boyfriend said his mother kept slapping him and then tried to punch him. When he blocked her punches and told her to stop hitting him she then grabbed the broom breaks it in half and hits my boyfriend in the head with it until he passed out. He stated his dad was called and he was taken to live with him. His dad took him to the hospital and the dr stated there was a dark spot on the MRI and that it seemed to point to some sort of trauma or injury. Well the dr of course wanted to call CPS but my bfs dad tols the dr that he fell during recess. My bf says his dad did this to keep his mother out of jail.

 

Now fast forward years later and my boyfriend says he noticed after the blow to the head he started having trouble grasping concepts in school and has trouble trying to plan things out. I looked it up and saw articles that state head injury especially as a young child can affect brain function later in life. My bf aso suffers from horrid headaches and he noticed that after the blow he started having trouble with reading and comprhension. He said he use to be an all A student but after that hit he found himself not able to catch on as fast as he use to. He said he told his dad but his fathers solution was to just get him in sports(yea i know and risk more head injury).

 

My issue is I dont know how to respond when he tells me of his abuse and how it has affected him today. The mother hen in me wants to tell him his mother was a monster and his father was no better for not turning her in but they are his parents so i have to tread carefully. How do I comfort my bf with out stepping on family toes. I dont know how to say anything regarding this without bashing his mom and dad(who i think of as nothing more than sperm/eg donars).

 

Also with the bad headaches he gets still would it be wise to get another MRI scan to see if the dark spot has gotten bigger?

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The issue is, he has SEVERE PSYCHOLOGICAL issues due to her abuse. He can't solve them on his own. He needs consistent, weekly therapy to come to grips with what happened to him as a child.

 

If he doesn't get this professional help, he will either ABUSE YOU or he will suffer SEVERE psychological issues.

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dreamingoftigers

If you have the ability to shell out about $3K, the Amen Brain Clinics do scans to see damaged areas etc.

 

I am saving to take myself and my husband.

 

My father got scanned 1.5 years ago. Huge changes.

 

Regardless of the circumstances, the here and now is the best place to start.

 

There are five or six locations in the US.

 

Best of luck.

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