Is it better to focus on myself first?

[loxagos_snake]

I'm in a strange period regarding my life. I'm 20 and coming from a breakup that shook me greatly at first, I now find myself single for about a year. At first I just didn't want to have any other girl next to me for obvious reasons. Now though, while I do, I've gone back to my shy self. I find it very hard to open up and for the first time in my life, I willingly avoid encounters with girls just because of the stress. The result? I lose many potential romances and sometimes I don't even regret it because I justify it by comparing this situation with the nervousness I would feel. So, I'm kind of contradicting myself: I do want a girlfriend, but I'm shooting myself in the foot.

 

I really want this to change, but I don't know how. But also, I've become really sentimental lately. I see there are many issues with myself, and maybe it's life's way of telling me that I'm not ready to meet a girl yet. One of this issues is my abandoned university progress. Teachers in school thought I had great potential, but I almost deserted university obligations because i was too busy thinking over a stupid breakup. So, I started studying: on one hand, this is going to help me tons, but on the other, it's keeping me inside. But every time I discuss this with my father, he thinks that if I chase my academic dreams, success will reflect in every aspect of my life.

 

Also, I have many flaws when it comes to love matters. I think things too much, resulting in both brain torture and inaction. I'm reserved around girls and find it hard to be myself; I think it's bad and impolite to throw an occasional sexual joke or to express my interest and that girls will disapprove So, I think I have to work on being independent, and being myself before attempting to work on other matters. So, do you believe I should first focus on my issues, and that things will magically sort themselves out after that?