In love with a married man

[dontknowwhattodo]

I'm in love with a married man, and I'm getting married in the next few months. I don't know what to do. He loves me too and its so bad. Has anyone else been through this?

[Moose]

Nope, I've never gone through ANYTHING like that.....OMG!!! First off, DON"T GET MARRIED!!!!! If you're in love with someone else, married or not, what the heck are doing getting ready to marry someone else?????????

 

You need to tell your fiance' you don't want to get married....you're obviously not ready and don't even know what a marraige is!!!

 

Then get away from this married guy before you damage someone else's life...... geeeeeeezzzzz,

 

<<<Shaking head and walking out in disbelief>>>

[Karlise13]

Why are you getting married in the first place?

 

Do you even love your fiance?

 

If you love a married man, sorry...TOUGH ****.

 

Part of being an adult is walking away from certain things that spell trouble. You love him? Sorry, he's not available to you. End of story.

 

Ever hear a parent tell a child NO? Parents do that out of love. Well, love yourself and parent yourself enough to say NO to a big ol' pile of misfortune before it happens.

 

I hope I don't sound too harsh. But if you want people to tell you romantic bubble things about 'love conquering all' you won't get that here.

 

Love Yourself. Honor your own spirit. You deserve something better than an unfulfilling marriage or a married man who cheats on his family.

[evagreten]

I agree with all previous posts.

 

If you want to do it step by step;

 

1) ask married man if he will leave his wife IMMEDIATELY for you.

 

2) if yes, then you can have him.

 

3) If he says no, then you have the answer you need.

 

Married men in very very very few cases leave their wives for their lovers. Bear that in mind. Most of them just have two women to sleep with for a few years until the wife finds out and then they stick with the wife and dump the lover or carry on behind the wife's back. This is a fact.

 

So, tell him, either leave her and love me, or leave me.

 

Either way - you don't love your fiance, so that's one problem solved for you, you shouldn't be marrying him.

[Karlise13]

Someone wrote a very good post about bad marriages being sustained via affairs.

 

I forget who wrote it....but it was an excellent post somewhere on the Other Woman/Other Man forum.

 

Truly, it's the man who makes out like a bandit most of the time.

 

He gets to sleep with two women, has the wife who takes care of the kids for the most part and the OW who gives him all the oozey-woozy romance he could ask for and waits faithfully for him to 'leave' his wife (who he usually has NO intentions of actually leaving)

 

There are so many marriages that would have fallen apart if not for the affair. I agree with what the poster said....many times the OW is helping SUSTAIN the marriage.

 

And yes, when the guy gets busted (MOST do, by the way. The wives know them better than anyone. Do you really think they're that stupid?) the man will 90% of the time choose the wife over you.

 

You become 'that phase of my life'

 

"Honestly honey...she meant nothing to me"

 

Take it from people who've been there.....done that.

 

Yeah yeah yeah..."BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT"

 

Probably not that different.

[amer]

Do NOT get married. Break it off with your fiancee and tell him why.

 

Break it off with the married man and tell him why.

 

Invest in time ALONE so you can figure out why you are so elf destructive and why you want to harm your fiancee.

 

Yes, you must want to because you are cheating while engaged to be married, a time when you should be ga-ga about the guy.

 

See a shrink, you are messed up.

[StillChillinCookie]

ASK YOURSELF THIS....

 

If that man that you love so much left his wife, who would you choose?

your fiance or your cheater

 

 

If you chose your fiance, would you tell him what's happening?

If you had the choice to be able to have the cheater, could you ever trust him?

 

 

Can you even trust yourself?

 

You have to be able to love yourself to be able to love someone else. Why is it different with trust.

 

You're going to mess up 3 lives. Most importantly yourself. Bringing down your fiance and his loving wife (no matter what you've heard about her)

 

Could you live with that?

 

I think that you should "invest in alone time" like the other post better. You're young, wild, and confident yet insecure. Am I right?

 

If you're not ready for a relationship, you most likely need to get to know yourself more. Go out, have fun, be single. Don't allow yourself to have a BF or fiance or a "cheater". Tell yourself why you cannot have them. Don't tell yourself that it's because you're not ready. Tell yourself that it's because you have no time, keep busy. All the time. at night, think about yourself, no one else. Find something you like to do (besides men).

 

Just think about how you would feel if you were in that womans shoes. Think about how insecure she would feel, how heart broken, how unwanted, ashamed, and STUPID.

 

Good luck.

 

Cookie

[KissMyTiara]

Originally posted by StillChillinCookie

ASK YOURSELF THIS....

 

 

Can you even trust yourself?

 

 

 

 

I never thought to ask that question - but it's very important given these facts.

[emobat]

Some of the people around here are really condescending.

 

 

 

anyway...

 

I think you should definitely postpone the wedding until you figure out what YOU want to do. You really shouldn't be marrying somebody else if you feel you're in love with another person.

 

regret is an awfully big word for only having six letters.

[KissMyTiara]

I didn't think my post was condescending...