In love with a married man...Getting married myself...

[dontknowwhattodo]

I'm in love with a married man, and I'm getting married in the next few months. I don't know what to do. He loves me too and its so bad. Has anyone else been through this?

[brandx]

Originally posted by dontknowwhattodo

I'm in love with a married man, and I'm getting married in the next few months. I don't know what to do. He loves me too and its so bad. Has anyone else been through this?

 

Never been in this position, so take this for what it is worth. Break it off with both for now. NEVER get married if you have love for someone else or are not CLEAR on your love and long-term compatibility for your fiancee. As for married man, let him leave his wife if he wants to love you. Otherwise, find someone to love who is available. Sorry if that seems cold, but based on your limited info, it appears cut and dried to me.

[dontknowwhattodo]

Its horrible. I mean I love my fiance very much and I would never want to leave him but I do have this strong feeling for this other person too. Its incredibly complicated and awful and I want to remain friends with him. Looking back, I can hardly believe I let this happen in my life.

[Bobbers Girl]

Don't get married if you love someone else. You cannot turn back the hands of time believe me I am still tring to do that! I married my current husband while still being in love with my ex husband. Now my ex and I are sleeping together - what a mess!

[Confused Coworker]

I am in your situation right now, except I'm a married woman involved with a man about to propose. It is so confusing for both of us. Every situation is different, but I can give you some perspective from the married person's side.

 

I've been married almost 9 years, and I do love my husband, but we got married young, and are quite honestly very different people. We don't have that much in common, and don't spend much of our free time together, which is ultimately what caused the problem in our marriage which opened up the possibility of an affair with a very close friend and co-worker.

 

This affair has been going on for about 1 year, but we've been close friends for 5 years. Even though the OM is technically single, he does have a serious long-term relationship with his girlfriend, who has been pressuring him for a proposal/engagement ring for the past 2 years. He says he still plans on proposing soon, and I can't understand why he would do that being in the situation we are in.

 

That being said, I can't be upset or angry with him because I am unavailable. I'm not ready to make a decision about what to do about my marriage, even though I need to face it ASAP. But it is so hard, and very much human nature to avoid the root of the issues as long as possible. But it is so dangerous to do this when there are so many lives and feeling that could be affected.