Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Oh yeah, just because one woman left you, you are now universally inadequate, for ALL women, right? Because ALL women have the same criteria and are attracted to the very same type of guys.... Apparently THAT is not self-deluding / defeatist, but saying that the ex will likely regret his/her decision down the line, IS? Wow. The ex will not regret it now, not EVER. I have to face the facts I am disposable and the fact Mr Wonderful is now with her and she is happy as a pig in ****. So all my best efforts, doing the decent thing, being a lovely, supportive and loyal guy, never cheated on her, never would counts for Jack **** so that makes me think , what is the point as I KNOW it would happen again if I ever met anyone else. I agree with fallenheart as we both tell it how it is. People don't like it as it is uncomfortable to them to face the FACTS. We were not good enough and someone else was. Link to post Share on other sites
mutant Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Oh yeah, just because one woman left you, you are now universally inadequate, for ALL women, right? Because ALL women have the same criteria and are attracted to the very same type of guys.... Apparently THAT is not self-deluding / defeatist, but saying that the ex will likely regret his/her decision down the line, IS? Wow. Bang on! This is not a linear progression; there is no critea out there to classify humans as being better, worse or "inadequate" all this is based on personal opinions which are diverse. For Instance, If an ex dumps you for a better person (her opinion) you can perfectly find someone better than her in every department (again your opinion). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Zammo , you've convinced me, you do kind of suck Sounds like you were too much of a boring, nice, pushover guy in your relationship. The whipped, needy pussy. You don't sound like a fun person to be around at all, which kind of f*cks you from the get go. This other guy obviously has more confidence (as you have zero), and typically you have to feel somewhat good about yourself to offer anything worthwhile to the people around you. We're not all little b*tches like you, you're only kidding yourself in acting like your generalization holds any weight. Yes, your ex found a cooler guy than you- probably wasn't difficult. Now, shape the f*ck up, stop playing the victim and grow some balls 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Zammo , you've convinced me, you do kind of suck Sounds like you were too much of a boring, nice, pushover guy in your relationship. The whipped, needy pussy. You don't sound like a fun person to be around at all, which kind of f*cks you from the get go. This other guy obviously has more confidence (as you have zero), and typically you have to feel somewhat good about yourself to offer anything worthwhile to the people around you. We're not all little b*tches like you, you're only kidding yourself in acting like your generalization holds any weight. Yes, your ex found a cooler guy than you- probably wasn't difficult. Now, shape the f*ck up, stop playing the victim and grow some balls Thanks for that I am now in councelling and on anti derepressants due to this and you are right it was not hard for her to find someone better. Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Zammo , you've convinced me, you do kind of suck Sounds like you were too much of a boring, nice, pushover guy in your relationship. The whipped, needy pussy. You don't sound like a fun person to be around at all, which kind of f*cks you from the get go. This other guy obviously has more confidence (as you have zero), and typically you have to feel somewhat good about yourself to offer anything worthwhile to the people around you. We're not all little b*tches like you, you're only kidding yourself in acting like your generalization holds any weight. Yes, your ex found a cooler guy than you- probably wasn't difficult. Now, shape the f*ck up, stop playing the victim and grow some balls We're not all little b*tches like you Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Tried to offer helpful, supportive input earlier on, but youre a very persuasive writer, and I couldn't help but find myself agreeing with you. Argue for your limitations and they're yours. I hope you come through this little fella ! listen carefully: Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Tried to offer helpful, supportive input earlier on, but youre a very persuasive writer, and I couldn't help but find myself agreeing with you. Argue for your limitations and they're yours. I hope you come through this little fella ! listen carefully: No you tried to destroy me. I am boring, useless and a waste of space, a little bitch as you put it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 No you tried to destroy me. I am boring, useless and a waste of space, a little bitch as you put it. Supportive ? LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
lemonlegs Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Supportive ? LOL. Zammo, everyone on here (except fallenheart) has tried to explain to you that you have no reason to feel inferior. It's hard to get through to someone who is constantly refuting our points with your defeatist attitude. What more can we possibly say except agree that you really must not be much of a catch if you're so very convinced that's the truth? Other girls will feel the same if you approach them with this attitude 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 I was referring to my first and only other post in here. And I'm sorry you didn't absorb that I was being at least somewhat facetious in bashing you. Anyway, you obviously just want to be contrary, whether you are agreed or disagreed with, so let's just go back to how it was before... You're only "inferior" if you adopt that mindset, man up ! Now you proceed to list reasons why you consider yourself inferior and are absolutely sure of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Hey, even I've said to Zammo it's time to stop moping and move on! Just a few pages back in fact. Obviously we can't change the past. We can't ever get the girl back that broke our heart. But there does come a time when you have to come out from the dark basement, take the first painful steps into the sunlight outside and let your eyes adjust....and you'll see....."hey....there are literally millions.....MILLIONS of other women around me, that are just like her." My ex-girlfriends are gone. Zammo's ex-girlfriend is gone. Never coming back. Never regretting leaving us. Nothing is gonna change that. But there are others out there. And instead of blowing false sunshine, I'll put it in terms Zammo can relate to...... Zammo, you fooled one girl into looking past your flaws long enough to be with you, at least for a little while anyway. If you get back out there, maybe you can trick another one. Better than being alone. Obviously it'll never be the same as your ex....but surely it beats being alone, right? Link to post Share on other sites
fallenheart Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Whether we want to admit it or not, the entire path our lives take is determined by our exes leaving us. That's a lot of power to have over someone. Every person that came into my life in the last decade was a result of a certain ex dumping me. At the time I was devastated, but if that happened, I wouldn't have met the next one. Or the next one. So it CAN be a good thing. I'm really happy I didn't settle for her. She sucked. But it also haunts me. Cause the one that left me 6 years ago....I should have married her. Not a day goes by that I don't regret doing more to salvage our relationship....but in the end, SHE was the one with all the power. SHE determined I wasn't good enough, and SHE kicked me to the curb. She's married now and I'm so jealous of that guy, living the life I thought I would have. But it works both ways. The girl I rebounded with was crazy about me. I was indifferent towards her. I basically rejected her. She's also married now. I don't care. I'm not jealous. But that guy she's with now only has her as a wife because I was the one that determined she wasn't good enough for me. Sometimes we have the upper hand....sometimes we don't. My ultimate dream would be to be on equal footing with a wonderful girl that loves me just as much as I love her. Isn't that everyone's dream?? Too bad it's so hard to achieve. But despite what may come across as negativity, I haven't given up. I'm still trying to find her. And hoping there's a girl out there that will make me forget ALL the exes. I hope we can all find that person in our lives. You too Zammo! But it's not gonna happen if we sit here moping behind a keyboard all day. You gotta go out and try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BUBS Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 (edited) I agree with the posters that say it really is just a basis of ever changing needs and has more to do with a persons interests changing. It's easy to feel inferior but that is a personal conflict more than what is actually true, it's a self esteem issue. If you are not satisfied with yourself, your job, your life or what you bring to the table than you will find fault no matter who that person they left you for is. They could be a crack slinging addict and you'd still rationalize that they provided "something" that you could not "Oh he's a bad boy and I've never even tried drugs" "He has tons of crackhead connections I don't have!" Obviously this is somewhat sarcastic but you get my point. However there are women/men who will provide something your ex cannot provide to you as well. The key to it all is finding someone who is willing to accept you, and more importantly accepting yourself... we all grow and have different preferences. It hurts to be left, we all have experienced it and probably are currently if we are on these threads... however the truth is that each person is different. I've had ex's that came running back, my ex included... I've had ex's that left me for the total opposite woman, where I felt too complicated, got down on myself for being too aggressive, for not being more simple like the new girls, only to find a few years down the road that the ex was lying to themselves trying to fit a mold that wasn't compatible to them to live out the "american dream". I've had ex's tell me I was a b*tch and too negative... each person perceives things differently, the only thing that stays constant in your life is you, and its important that if you feel inferior you focus inward to change things that make you feel like less of a person. If you are not content with your life, its your responsibility to change them, but everyone is different. A 6 years ago I had a man propose to me that had everything together. He was amazingly attractive, kind, sweet, educated. He had a family to die for, amazing values. He was entertaining, and would have provided me with an easy life of knowing I was adored and loving him back... but for me it didn't fit who I was, I felt like an alien in his world... this was nothing against him. I left him for my first ex from when I was a kid that was out of shape, tattooed, lived in a trailer and made me feel absolutely alive beyond the material nonsense. I left him for this man because this man was someone that I clicked with better, that I felt more myself with at that point in time in my life. When I did this many questioned why, why I would leave such a seemingly perfect guy for such a "trainwreck" of a guy as they referred to him as, that trainwreck fit me... that's why. Would he have fit me years beforehand when I had a different mindset and was trying to fit a mold and simplify my life? No, just like my seemingly perfect ex didn't fit the person I eventually became. Time changes people. My point is that at the end of the day, you cannot base whether you are above or below someone on the fact that your ex left you for them or on looks and other things that are simply preferences of that point in time. People with a lot of money and fancy things bug me the hell out, I prefer people who have very little, I feel more comfortable with who I am, because I genuinely believe that the thing that matters most are the people that carry your story and loathe the competitive nature that comes with being loaded... therefore men with tons of money actually turn me off because they don't carry the same values and interests of lifestyle that I do at this point in time, their priorities are different... Point in fact being that in your case Zam, with the exception of your utter lack of self confidence, I would prefer you versus the guy you described that she left you for, I prefer people that don't waste countless hours a day on protein shakes and lifting, and I prefer people that prioritize love, relationships, and family over working 100 hours a week to buy a BMW. That's my preference at this moment in my life. Her preference was different, but that doesn't mean he is better than you. Right now my ex is with someone I know nothing about, and in all reality there are times I imagine her as everything I'm not, more calm, poised, feminine... quiet, and sweet... but I pull myself out of it, because if that is the woman he wants RIGHT now that doesn't mean I'm inferior... a year ago he wanted me enough to put a fancy ring on my finger while crying hysterically... its all timing. If you don't like your life change it, but don't assume someone is better than you, they have things you may lack, but you have things they lack as well... No one is perfect. Edited January 23, 2013 by BUBS 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Thanks BUBS. You know what I am an amazing guy. I have done and achieved things 95% of people would never have done in their lifetimes. Now I am having hard times but I am loving, loyal, would never cheat and accept people and their kids if necessary as a package deal and treat them both with love and respect. I am also very good at my profession and people trust me, like to do business with me and think I am a good bloke. So the ex moved onto a guy who is Mr Steady, maybe that is what she needs. I should be happy for her but a few things that have happened have made me see her in a new light. You know what ?, I am going to be the best person and most successful person I can be this year and I can do it as I have immense skills and ability and I forgot that. Thanks to everyone for their support. Zammo x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumPI Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Mr Wonderful has become Mr Steady ... now that's some progress! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zammo25 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Well I an getting my stuff back. She did not want to speak to me, ignored my call and sent a one word text back. Why does she treat me like a piece of sh*t ? I don't get it all I am trying to do is do the right thing and be civil but it is like I am the Devils Spawn now and I really don't think I deserve to be treated in such a shi*ty way. Link to post Share on other sites
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