whocares Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 This is complicated but I will try to make it short... I was with this guy for about 5 months, two years ago. We were together all the time. He even slept at my house almost every night. We were always on the phone together when we couldn't be together, his cell phone bill was $400 for one month! I later found out that the only nights he didn't stay with me he was cheating with his ex wife! My guy friends were always picking on him and threating him to "be good". He cried and pleaded when I found out about the cheating not to break up with him. He even told the ex wife he didn't want her and he wanted me and to leave us alone. I took him back and found out that he did it again. I still took him back! He then a few weeks later broke up with me saying that we weren't good for eachother right then and he did love me he just couldn't deal with my ex hubby and kids and everything was moving too fast. I also had a lot of friends that did drugs and and drank a lot at the time. I was drinking a lot, and also he found out that I had taken some pills while I was drinking and passed out in a bar, (I know, it was bad) Anyway after he dumped me, I was devestated. I thought he loved me and he only cheated because of his ex wife threating to harm herself if he didn't see her. She actually left him in another state and wanted the divorce. I talked to him off and on for about a month and a half after we broke up and he was always nice and didn't act like he didn't want anything to do with me. When I realised that we weren't getting back together I told him I was going back to be with my ex hubby because of the kids, and he said "I am surprised it took this long". What is that supposed to mean? He was cheating, not me! I stopped talking to him for a long time and after a while I noticed that he had gotten a job where he had been trying to get on. I called him there and told him I was happy for him and then the convo went downhill, I broke down and was basiclly telling him I wanted him back and all that, he just said "It didn't work out". I hung up on him. That was 2 years ago. I found out that he got married about 6 months after we split up, to a girl his mom wanted him to marry. And he said we were moving too fast? He also stopped talking to his best friend. About a month ago I saw him in town and he just sat there and looked at me. He made eye contact for about 30 seconds and then I drove on, but I noticed that he wasn't trying to hide the fact that he saw me. Two weeks ago I saw his friend and he said that they haven't talked in a year and a half because the new wife says he is a bad influence. He told me that my ex still loved me and up until he got married (and no longer talked to his bf) that he talked about me all the time. We drunk dialed the ex bf and told him we missed him and wanted to see him on his cell phone message. After his friend told me this I wrote him a letter and sent it to his moms house. I told him I was wondering how he was doing and everything and that a lot of things were different now and I am not the person I was when we were together. I no longer drink a lot or do drugs. I don't hang out with the same people anymore ect. I got no response from the letter in 2 weeks. I then called his cell (the old buddy gave me the number) and said call me, we are wondering how you are and wanted you to come for a beer with us... I called again today and left a meassage saying where we going and what time and that we don't want to get him in trouble but we wanted to be friends with him and see how he was doing and everything. My question is do you think that he is thinking we are trying to get him in trouble since we drunk dialed him? Do you think that if he doesn't call or come out that it's because of his wife or he just doesn't want anything to do with any of us? I am confused by the things his best friend told me... I am driving myself nuts over it all! Some advice would be great on how to handle the situation from here on out. I don't want him to think I am stalking him or trying to get him into trouble... Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 He's married, leave him alone. He has a wife already. Imagine how YOU would feel in her place: You're married, and suddenly this guy's EX girlfriend calls in this drunken fit and is like, "I MISS YOU." Your first reaction is to post on LS and be like, "Strange phone call: Is my husband cheating?" Everyone on here would be like, "Girl, he's bad news. Get away from him." Your hubby is upset because he hasn't done ANYTHING to warrant this, and you two are fighting all the time. YOu don't want to come right out and ask if he's cheating, so you get mad at every little thing that he does. He has no clue why you, as his wife, is being such a hose beast, until you let him listen to the machine. He's totally befuddled. He hasn't talked to this chick in a year. Why is she suddenly causing trouble? Link to post Share on other sites
Author whocares Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 Your right. I feel so confused right now. I don't want his wife to be hurt or upset. I am pretty sure that he was cheating on me with her too. I know she knows everything that happened and that's why she won't let him have any contact with his best friend. I don't think that is fair on her part, even if I am not in the picture, what gives her the right to put him on a leash? Because she probably knows that he will cheat on her? I think things between us would never be the same anyway and I would never be able to trust him if we did get back together but I just feel like I need closure on this whole thing. I want him to know that I am not the person he thought I was then... I want him to know that I am truely sorry for mean things that I said to him, I was hurt that he was cheating on me. Anyway, thanks for the honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts